


Fire and a gun

by LadyMorgan



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Sex, Crossover, Destiel - Freeform, Firefighters, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Police, Slash, Violence, someonene dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-09-02 10:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMorgan/pseuds/LadyMorgan
Summary: Damn bastard, where was he? On the way to the police car, Dean thought through the places where the young firefightercould be. When he arrived at the bridge at high speed, he barely trusted his eyes and remained seated for a moment.Cas looked so lost, and for a moment the policeman feared that he might do something stupid,but he ignored that strange chill that spilled over his spine and got out in no time. Kim waited in the car.





	1. Chapter 1

On this day in late autumn, the weather was not exactly at its best. The last leaves fell from the trees and sailed quietly on the wet street, the sky was gray, it was cold, and it also drizzled. The man who had stopped on the sidewalk did not mind, for he smiled as he stared in the direction of the fire station.

One last time he retook a deep breath, the grip on the bag in his right hand became stronger and with a ducked head to protect himself from the rain, he set one foot in front of the other.

Heart pounding, prepared and respectful, he stopped in front of the emergency vehicles that stood in the hall. Long enough he had the theory and could not wait to put theory into practice. Cas was lost in thoughts, that he did not notice Herrmann and Cruz whispering, giggling and eyeing him with folded arms.

Then Herrmann took the floor and said that he could show him everything if he had finished the stare. Startled, Castiel turned and nodded before following the two.

In the lounge of the guard 51, he then met the others of the crew before he responded to the alarm again a little scared.

"Do we have a frightened chicken here?" Dawson laughed and patted his shoulder before she headed for the ambulance and the others split into the other two vehicles.

As Casey turned to face him from the passenger seat, he noticed Castiel staring at Otis, who steered the fire-truck and grinned.

"Do not even think about it."

"What?"

"You are the newbie. Can you cook?"

Castiel shrugged. Then he was told that he should learn this because the boys were always hungry and the delivery service was too expensive in the long run.

After watching as Severide rescued a boy from the water and everyone was back at the station, his first appointment was with Chief Boden.

"You are awesome, Dean ..."

Smiling and panting, the woman slipped from him and dropped beside him. Her name? No idea. One more in his collection.

A sidelong glance at his alarm clock showed him that he urgently needed to sleep for a few more hours, firstly to reduce alcohol levels and secondly not to catch a reprimand from Sergeant Platt.

He liked his work and came from a generation of cops, born into this job, so to speak, without having to work hard for it.

Well, and the poor women he saved on patrol duty were very willing to show their appreciation to the handsome officer. And he did not have to work hard to do that either. Dean had a busy sex life, and sometimes men were among them. Only, he had not found true love yet. But to be honest, there was no hurry. With his barely 30 years he wanted to enjoy his life, not commit himself.

Dean was happy to deal with his niece and his little nephew but was also glad when he came away from this childish screaming again. He got on well with his colleagues from work, did his job, was satisfied.

"Looks like the fire broke out in the back, probably in the kitchen area. Severide, go in and open the windows and exits!"

Concentrated, he listened to the Chief and his instructions.

For three weeks Castiel was but was only briefly called Cas by all, on guard 51. Everything was still new, exciting. Every job was different, especially. He admired the team that was like a family, not just on duty. He had never experienced this trust and the commitment that each one had to the other, and it was a wonderful feeling.

Since childhood, his dream was to become a firefighter after his parents died in a dwelling fire. His childhood spent the only child with his aunt, who also had to feed her three sons as a single mother.

It was a hard time, and he missed his parents. Castiel always had the feeling of being alone. At some point, he took the big step and moved to Chicago to start a new life. Castiel was a fighter, and he had to earn everything in life. And this effort was rewarded. He was finally firefighter, now was the time to prove himself and he was determined to be the best.

After lunch, when Gabriela stood in front of her locker and creamed her hands, she smiled as Matt came looking around and then took her into a short but passionate kiss. Relationships between colleagues were not welcome, and everyone knew that. But who could resist emotions?

By chance, Otis came by, raised his eyebrows and immediately turned back. It took only seconds until he had told Herrmann about it and after Casey had sat down at the table, he was staring at him silence until the older man could not stand it any longer.

"Is Dawson alright?"

"What?!"

"Well, because you did mouth-to-mouth insufflation with Dawson ..."

Confused, Matt looked at his colleagues, who looked back gravely, then broke into a loud giggle and laughed.

A few steps away, Sylvie sighed and fell onto the bed in the sleeping area.

"What's going on?" Kelly asked, sitting down beside her.

"I do not look bad, right?"

"What do you want to hear from me, you're my best friend?!"

"The newbie. Something is not right. I do not know what else to do. He does not jump on any of my flirting attempts."

"Maybe he's not into blondes," Kelly laughed and tickled her until Mouch directed them out of the room, who wanted to catch up on some sleep.

Dean stood at the desk, waiting for Sergeant Platt's instructions.

Without looking up from her records, she told him that he had been given a new partner before she looked at him intently.

"And I advise you, do not screw it up again!"

When Dean thought back, he had to hold back his giggling, because then he had started something with his colleague, who had then move to another department, because the young policeman could not keep his fingers from other women.

"And she's coming ..." Trudy muttered as she saw the dark-haired woman come in at the door.

"Kim Burgess. I look forward to working with you, "she introduced herself with her sunny nature and handed Dean her hand, which of course immediately looked her up and down. But something about the look she gave him, which had changed within seconds, told him she could do it differently and the following words confirmed his guess.

"Do not even try. Your reputation as Casanova precedes you.

"Winchester, Burgess, I need you both!"

The forceful voice of the sergeant and head of the intelligence unit, Hank Voight, tore the two out of their conversation.

"Yes, sir," the two replied in unison, and their eyes lit up.

To be promoted to the first floor because it was about real cases, this was the dream of every patrolman.

An hour later, both were back at the station. Somewhat disappointed, because it was again just an observation.

_'Stay in the car, keep your eyes open ...'_

But the main thing was, the drug dealer was caught and still better than doing personal errands for the bosses.

One day later at the police station.

"Good morning, sarge."

Trudy glanced at them for a moment before handing Kim a piece of paper and sending her upstairs. Of course, Dean wanted to follow her but was whistled back by Sergeant Platt.

"Not so fast, sunshine, I have a special job for you."

With these words, he took the note that he got and when Dean had briefly flown over this, he rolled his eyes.

"Come on. You're serious?"

"Just for today, they have a loss, and you seem very suitable."

Based on the sarcastic tone, the young man knew that a discussion was going nowhere, and he grunted on his way. Still grumbling, he stood in front of the federal prison fifteen minutes later and gave his assignment to the policeman at the reception.

"What did you do, Winchester?" Another policeman grinned as he led him around. "Because if someone has to come to us here, that's usually the case."

Dean was not aware of any guilt, just shrugged and just wanted the time to pass as quickly as possible.

And so it was. It was a boring job, and Dean wondered why anyone could get excited about it. Of course, being able to tackle the prisoners harder here also had its appeal, but basically, the action was missing.

It was just before closing time when there was some action in the jail and the reason was the dark blonde, who once again could not shut up, and that was not the first time that had got him in trouble.

In the dining room, some of the bad boys sat together and mumbling, and the five kept looking in Dean's direction, who stood by the door as a supervisor. And he knew one of them too well. After all, he had contributed a great deal to the fact that he spent his remaining life here, of which he was proud.

"Are not you the bastard to whom I owe this?!" The bearded man called to him.

One of the cops watched the teasing a few moments before he stood in front of Dean, his hand on his chest as he noticed how the young man was bubbling.

"Do not let them provoke you. Stay calm."

"Do not worry, just a little conversation among acquaintances," he smirked confidently, winking at the policeman and approaching the men, then asked quite friendly if there was a problem.

"You son of a bitch destroyed my life. You will pay for that!"

"You have destroyed the lives of many others. You're only here because you belong right here! "

These threats went back and forth for a few moments before the other policeman grabbed Dean by the arm and pulled away before it could escalate. The last words he heard were that he had enough contacts outside and that it would be better to look over his shoulder in the future.

With confidence that was more played than real, the dark blonde broke away and snorted furiously.

Several days passed and even if Dean did not show any signs, those words that had said that asshole, could not get out of his head. The experience of the last few years had shown that a case was far from complete when one of the bad guys had been caught because most of the friends were already waiting for a new chance.

After work, he was at Molly's and sat at his place at the bar.

"What's wrong with you?", Herrmann grinned after watching the scene when Dean had sent a girl into the desert in a rather uncharming way, put another glass of beer in front of his nose and waited for an explanation.

"I just do not feel like it," he grumbled and pulled out his cell phone, which rang at the moment. Head over heels, Dean left the bar.

"The call to the police I can probably save because this is here now."

_'Funny ...'_

"Has also been broken into other apartments?"

"No, only in yours."

Dean had slept for about five minutes that night. Although his wardrobe was in front of the broken door, he still sat on the couch with his gun in his hand.


	2. Chapter 2

'Batallion 25, truck 81, squad 3, ambulance 61 ...'

The mission turned out to be a traffic accident with a truck and two other cars. Two people were trapped, but for another man, any help came too late. The driver of the jeep came slowly to himself and wanted to quietly and secretly pull out of the affair, but he had not expected Matt, who reacted with the presence of mind and threw a crowbar between his feet, thus bringing him down.

Where the damn police stayed, Cruz wanted to know in a sarcastic tone as he and Matt tried to hold on to the ground with all their force. It was not long before the sirens sounded and three police cars drove up at a rapid speed.

"Oh good, the cavalry is here!"

Casey waved to Antonio, who knelt on the drunken driver and handcuffed his hands in no time, then dragged him to his feet and shoved him to the patrol car.

"Fuel out!" Cas shouted a few yards away, looking first at the dripping pool on the floor and then at his lieutenant.

"Herrmann, Mouch ... establish fire safety!" Came the command of Casey.

What came to the fore when Otis lifted the tarp let everyone swallow.

"Damn!" Chief Boden murmured, who already had his next steps in mind. "This is an illegal hazardous substance transporter. Make sure you get the people out of the vehicles and then keep a safe distance!"

At that moment, the pool lit under the truck, and Cas admired once again the active cooperation of the guys. Everyone knew what to do, everyone could rely on the other, and no one got hurt when the car exploded.

When Dean arrived at 'Molly's' in the evening, he heard the noise outside the door.

He had helped Otis a week ago to get a karaoke machine because he had relationships. Chuckling, he entered the full bar and was immediately waved by the Russians at the counter and greeted with a pat on the back.

"Well, what do you say. Best idea ever. Thanks again, man."

During the evening and after a few beers, his attention turned to the new firefighter, who was laughing a few steps away with his colleagues.

From that distance, he was able to watch him without him noticing — a handsome, young man. Dean was lost in thoughts, that he did not see, that Gabriela had sat next to him and was staring in the same direction.

"Which of the three?"

"What ?!" Dean asked irritated and turned to her.

"Keep your fingers off Mouch who is married, and Casey is mine," she replied firmly, looking him straight in the eye with a grave expression before bursting out in laughter, which Dean joined in as well.

Although the dark blonde tried to make no comment and to steer the conversation in a different direction, but then could not resist to ask her a few questions about her colleague.

"All I can tell you is that he has no ring on his finger."

With a wink, she took her bottle and joined the others.

Now he was sitting alone again, staring again at Cas. And suddenly the black-haired man turned in his direction, smiled at him, and Dean's heart began to beat faster. Quickly he turned around and involved Otis, who stood behind the bar in a conversation that he could barely remember in the next minute.

He wondered what was wrong with him, for his hands began to sweat, and he could not overcome turning his head. Something was different because he usually had no trouble talking to people. Maybe it was the fact that the two had seen each other a few times, but had not exchanged a single word.

Why not? Dean wondered when he had mutated back to a shy boy.

At some point he ventured another look, that was at the time when Cas blew a strand of hair from the face that tickled his forehead. Again, their eyes met, and even if he could see little from this distance, he knew that they were shining. Another shudder sneaked over Dean's spine and made him sigh.

Castiel was well aware of the furtive glances that burned into his body and each time it tingled to the tips of his fingers. Looking around, he realized that he knew pretty much everyone, and even though he'd been there for almost a month now, the dark-haired cop had never really noticed him. Maybe it was because he was always in Molly's when the other one was not there.

The constant staring could not go on like that, but somebody had to take the first step.

"Who's the guy at the bar?" He asked Mouch, who turned and grinned.

"Do you mean the Casanova of Chicago?"

_'Casanova of Chicago ... so, a womanizer'_

On the one hand, he thought that was a pity because he would have liked to have someone to cuddle again, but on the other hand, he wanted to get to know Dean.

So he grabbed a heart, got up and went to the bar. On the way there, he briefly considered what he should say.

"Hey, I think we do not know each other yet. I'm Castiel. "

Now the personified temptation was in front of Dean, and all he could do was to look him up and down. A handsome man. Dean valued him a little older than himself, and what body hid under that clothing, he could only guess. But in any case, this fantasy was very inspiring. Now he could see his eyes as well, and he was sure he had never seen such deep blue, beautiful eyes.

"Um ..."

First, he pushed with his against the beer bottle which was held out to him before he cleared his throat.

His heart rate quickened again as Cas sat down next to him and started talking.

'Dean, pull yourself together!'

Dean could not explain that he behaved like a teenager and only after he had slapped himself inwardly did he clear his throat.

"Yes, I ... I'm Dean ..."

"And has it always been your desire to become a police officer?"

"No, actually I wanted to go to sea. You know, secret missions like McVay, who smuggled the atomic bombs."

"Great. The ship went down, and it was a life and death struggle. "

Both giggled and from then on the ice was broken. It took not a long time and they talked like old friends, laughing, joking and flirting. Both were sleeping well that night, hoping for a sequel.

"Sorry. I had to take the bus; someone stung the tires of my car. "

Dean stammered the next morning in front of his superior and Kim.

When both sat together in the patrol car, his partner wanted to know what had happened to him in the last few days, confronting him with being irritable and unfocused.

"And you also have to report that about your car."

"Who am I to blame for that?" He snapped back annoyed, only saying she should leave him alone.

In a quiet minute, he called his family and asked them to go on vacation. He explained nothing and felt a little paranoid, but better safe than sorry.

Then everything went in quick succession. Dean wanted to buy a new TV and pay with his credit card, but it did not work, not even after the seller pulled it through for the fourth time. Since the young policeman did not have enough small change in his pocket, he ran to the nearest ATM to get cash. When he saw that his entire account was empty, it ran hot and cold down his back.

"Come on, let's go to Voight!" Kim urged, pulling his arm, but Dean just shook his head. He did not want any difficulties, and even if he did not know how, he decided to do it himself.

Half an hour later, the two were back at the station.

"That was given to you."

Sergeant Platt slipped the package, wrapped in untidy newsprint, across the counter, waiting as Dean made no move to open it.

"Who gave it?"

"Dunno, am I the information?" That was the snippy answer.

The heart of the young policeman beat higher. Could it be a bomb?

Granted, gradually he got scared.

"Open. Immediately!"

Not a request, but an instruction, spoken in a sharp tone, because the hesitation made Trudy all the more curious and the haunting look showed Dean that she was serious.

With trembling hands, and after taking another deep breath, he cut open the paper, carefully opened the box, and the loud and horrified swallowing of the three could probably be heard throughout the police station.

'It was just the beginning,' was the note that lay bloodied on a piece of meat that was easy to identify as a heart. No human, thank God. But that did not make things much better. It did not help, and now Dean had to speak out because there was no way around the strict Trudy.

"How can it be that a harmless mission suddenly emerges as a threat of murder against you?!"

Shaking her head, she motioned silently to the stairs and ordered with a forceful voice to contact Sergeant Voight, immediately.

With Kim as an accompaniment, he again presented the incidents to the assembled intelligence team. Immediately everyone sat down at their computer to go through everything again.

"And you're not going out alone anymore. Not with the crosshairs on your back."

"Am I under house arrest?"

Even though Dean was a police officer, he suddenly felt like a small child. On the other hand, he was also glad that someone was there.

Three days passed without further incident. That means ...

Dean felt restricted, for Burgess did not leave his side. He was glad to go to the toilet alone at least. He even slept at her home, on the couch.

Kim had become an excellent friend for him in the last few days. Not that he did not find her attractive, but that's why he did not want to screw it up. He also noticed that she had something going on with Ruzek and he did not want to mess with it.

Excited, Dean slipped back and forth in the passenger seat after finishing duty and almost begged Kim to go for a quick drink to Molly's, hoping to meet Cas there. Although Kim had an exhausting shift behind her, she agreed.

As it seemed, the young firefighter had something to celebrate, for he was already slightly drunk.

"One month," he grinned, as Dean spoke to him and clicked his glass against Dean's bottle.

Dean took a moment to look at Cas. His eyes were glassy, he kept chuckling, and the hair was disarranged even more than he remembered. The slightly flushed cheeks matched perfectly with the red lips, which he steadily moistened, and Dean could not help but stare at the reprobate tongue tip that kept flashing between his lips. Damn, the guy was handsome. But apparently, it was a bit conspicuous because the policeman noticed the look that Severide and Casey exchanged and lowered his eyes slightly flushed.

"We still have something to discuss. He is your problem now."

Laughing and with a pat on the back, the two stood up and mingled with the crowd.

Not only did the alcohol loosen the tongue of the young firefighter, but Dean also had the feeling that Cas was flirting with him. For any woman, he would most likely take advantage of this situation, but he also knew how that usually ended. Besides, he knew too little about Cas and even if Dean had a hard time going on the offensive, something was holding him back.

"Can you manage alone here? Adam just called and ... you know."

When Cas had disappeared for a few minutes at the toilet, Kim suddenly stood in front of him and looked at him questioningly.

"Is this a joke? Get out of here," he grinned back mischievously, hugging the dark-haired woman.

"Yeah, get lost," also Cas laughed, who had heard the last bits of words and put an arm around Dean, who was then still a bit red.

"Take care of him," she told the black-haired man before disappearing.

"I think you should take care of me," he sighed, settling heavily on the bench before giving him a sexy look. "Can you take me home ... I'm ... I think I'm a tiny bit drunk."

At least he thought that was a sexy look, and Dean had to grin at this attempt of tired eyes. After Herrmann called a taxi, Dean put an arm around Cas's hip. So drunk that he needed this support, he was not, but Dean just wanted to feel him close.

As a patrolman, he knew every corner of this city, and when the taxi stopped, he realized that this was a dangerous area where Cas lived, and he told him so. In response, he just got that it was cheap.

There was no lift, and it took some time until both arrived on the second floor. Dean had to unlock because the owner of the apartment did not get this damned key into the small hole.

Trying to take off his shoes, Cas almost stumbled and lurched into the bedroom, dropping onto the bed and closing his eyes. Everything turned, and he just wanted to sleep. Only when he heard a throat clearing did he realize that he was not alone.

Dean did not quite know what to do and just stared at the motionless body in bed.

Castiel opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get a clear picture. A man was standing in his bedroom. Why the hell did he stand there, even though he should have been lying under the covers long ago?!

"I'll make myself comfortable on the couch then ..."

"Come here," the fireman grinned wryly and wiggled his eyebrows. "The bed is big enough for the two of us. If you promise not to cross over."

Only slowly, already after he had closed his eyes again and tried to fall asleep in full clothes, he thought about these words. Nonsense. Of course, he wanted the other would reach over, and if he had not been so tired and unable to move, he would have taken over himself.

After Dean had undressed to the underpants, had slipped under the blanket and turned to the side, as the other slept deeply and tight anyway, a small smile sneaked on his face. Forgotten were the previous days, forgotten was the fear he had.

When Dean finally fell asleep, he found no peace in his dreams. Several years ago, when he started working for the police, an incident occurred that did not let him go.

One day in May, Dean could remember the exact date and time when he and his colleague were called to an armed robbery. At the police academy, he was taught where he could aim, so that it would not kill. But the robber had taken the seller as a hostage and left no doubt about firing the gun, that was pressed against his forehead. It was self-defense, and he had no other option, it was in the files. It was the only time he had shot, but this incident left him in doubt as to whether he had chosen the right profession.

"Dean ... Dean!"

The young policeman sensed that he was shaken and opened his eyes. Panting, he sat up and looked in the horrified, dilated eyes of his bed neighbor, who had put a hand reassuring on his shoulder.

"All right, it was just a nightmare," Dean tried to say calmly, but both his voice and his hands trembled.

Only then did he realize that Cas was almost naked and wondered when that happened. But he could not see a great deal, because the two men were lying too fast under the covers. No one said a word, both looked at each other, and even if none of them did it, each of the two wanted to reach out, feel strangers skin under their fingers. At some point, both fell asleep again, and the next time it was Dean who first opened his eyes as electric lightning flashed through his body.

The two men were still lying on their sides; their faces turned to each other. But what was different was the distance. Dean licked his dry lips and swallowed. The other dreamed. There was no doubt that Cas slept. But his right hand was on Dean's hip, and his body rubbed against Dean's. To be more specific, his erection rubbed against Dean's.

_'Fuck!'_

Should he wake Cas? Part of him said he should do that. The other part of him enjoyed this pleasant tingling but too much. But that's not how he wanted it, so he put a hand on Cas's shoulder and squeezed him softly but firmly until the black-haired man opened his eyes and froze as he became aware of the situation.

"You had an amazing dream, apparently, " Dean grinned.

Cas's body was stiff and rigid, his eyes wide open, and his face grew redder by the second.

"I ... um ..."

Damn, what was that? He was so embarrassed and quickly moved away.

Dean sighed a little sadly at the reaction and loss of warmth he had felt until a few moments ago.

"I'm sorry ... I ... Oh god!"

Head over heels, he jumped up from the bed and muttered that he had to take care of the little problem before Dean heard the door of the bathroom crack.

Somewhat confused, he lay there with a hard-on, which longed for relief. Looking around the room, he saw a box of handkerchiefs, got up, grabbed a few, and lay down again. After shoving his underpants to his knees and wrapping his penis with one hand, he closed his eyes and imagined it was Cas's hand, slowly pacing up and down. The head was already wet with the drops squeezing out of the small slit, and a shaky sigh broke as he made his thumb circling. It was not long before he felt this twitching and spurting in the handkerchiefs.

After that, he stayed. Five minutes, ten minutes. Again and again, his gaze went to the bathroom door, but there was no sound except the swoosh of the water.

When he looked at the clock, he moaned in frustration, because he did not have much time left, had to go to work. Or instead to the desk work, because until everything had not clarified, he was not allowed to leave the house. In no time he got dressed and wondered if he should write a message to Cas. Only what? So he decided to scribble his phone number on a piece of paper, with a request to call him, called a taxi and drove off.

Cas heard the door lock and sighed in relief. The whole situation was so uncomfortable for him that he could not look Dean in the eye and so he had been entrenched in the bathroom for a quarter of an hour after he had taken on the problem and with his hand. This hand, which had already done this for two years.

He had only one real relationship in his life and was happy. Plans were made, a shared flat was rented until it turned out that this someone had gone astray — multiple times. By now he had found out that he was happily married and the father of two daughters.

But it took a long time for Cas to get over it. And if he was honest with himself, this condition was still going on. He did not want to get hurt again, so it was better to knock Dean out of his head, if only because he had learned that he was not serious about loyalty.

He also decided to stop drinking so much, because he now knew where that could lead. After getting dressed and drinking a coffee, he noticed the note Dean had left him. Should he call? They could not go out of their way in the long run. They saw each other at Molly's, and at work.

In the case of cases, he saved this number but in his cell phone and threw the note in the trash can.


	3. Chapter 3

Even though Cas kept telling himself not to think about a specific person, his heart disagreed. Every time the name 'Dean' fell, his heart jumped.

"Cas my dear, is it possible that you are in love?"

"What?!"

Flabbergasted, he looked at Sylvie with big blue eyes as she pulled a face and set the spoon aside after tasting the soup simmering on the stove.

"It is said, that when a cook oversalts the soup, he is in love. And since it’s not me, because I'm trying to make you beautiful eyes for weeks ... Out with it!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm gay," he murmured, shrugging apologetically.

"Thank God. I was afraid that I would have to dye my hair" the Bondine giggled, clapping him on the shoulder in a friendly tone.

Castiel blushed a little. Although he was not ashamed of it and also wanted to make no secret that he was gay, now it was out, and he was relieved that his colleague received so well.

'Ambulance 61 ... '

"Now many things become clear to me. I saw you leaving the bar with Dean last night. Was there something going on? "

Since Dawson had an appointment, Castiel took over the ambulance for this shift, as his education was not long past. When he had the seatbelt snap, he shook his head.

"You're pretty curious, Brett."

"And you, do not be uptight, Novak," the blonde countered.

"I was drunk, and he was a gentleman."

"Hm."

He did not get more than that contemptuous remark and asked.

"Some have fallen for his charm. I want you to take care of yourself, okay?" 

When they arrived at the scene of the action, it quickly became apparent that reinforcement was needed and so Sylvie requested the squat unit.

The burglar had caught up with the karma because it looked as if his attempt to escape had been slowed down over the fence and he had slipped unhappily because the iron grid was rooted in his back. He hung on the fence like a scarecrow and was barely conscious.

Granted, Cas got a little queasy at the sight of the amount of blood.

"OK. Until the boys arrive and cut the fence, we can do nothing but keep him alive. "

Back on guard 51, the young firefighter sat down on the couch and let his cell phone rotate nervously in his hand. It needed an explanation or at least an apology, but he did not know what to write to Dean. So he made an appointment for the evening at Molly's.

The relieved sigh went through the whole house when he finally got the long-awaited answer.

"You had something with her," Kim smirked as the bartender left after putting their drinks down.

"What? No, "Dean replied, and with a roll of his eyes, he explained that the two were old acquaintances and that he had only played scrabble with her.

"Shut up," she laughed, nodding in her direction. "I do not believe you. She's cute."

Suddenly, the young police officer sighed and told him that she would not have room to sleep for him anymore because her family was visiting.

"But you're lucky, Ruzek has room in the garage," she grinned after that Dean rolled his eyes.

If everything went well, he could stay with Cas again. When he was lost in thoughts, his partner snapped her fingers in front of his face and asked. Gradually he moved out with the language, and with a grin on her face, Kim waved to the waitress to waste no more time. While Dean still nodded, Burgess paid, because he was broke and both wanted to get up when everything went pretty fast.

"Dean!"

He was quickly torn to the ground by Kim when gunfire suddenly sounded. He heard the people scream and crawled on his knees behind the counter, where he saw his friend, the bartender, lying on the floor. Panting and whimpering, she pressed her hands to the wound on her bleeding neck.

"Maddie!"

Immediately he was with her, while Kim fired at the shooter, who disappeared as quickly as he had come. She ran after him, but he was already over the mountains. She promptly informed the police and an ambulance before returning to the bar to reassure people.

Sleep was out of the question anyway, and since the safest place was the guard, they spent the night there. Maddie survived this attack, thank God. But at least now Dean knew he was in serious trouble.

Nevertheless, or therefore he did not want to sit around idly but to participate, but Voight spoke again a power word that he could not resist.

As if by appointment, Cas sat a few blocks away in the bar. He did not notice the excitement and took turns looking for the door and his cell phone.

Dean did not come, did not call, did not write. The evening turned to night, and the night turned early in the morning when Herrmann laid a hand on his shoulder and told him to go home, as he wanted to lock up.

"Maybe he got work in between."

"Yeah, maybe," the black-haired man sighed and walked out of the door with his head hanging.

When he lay in his bed and closed his eyes, he could not resist the thought that Dean was probably in another bed.

It was early morning when the young policeman suddenly remembered.

"Shit!" He mumbled, grabbing the phone to make a phone call.

"Winchester! Did not you still block it?" Sergeant Voight called after him, causing him to turn around.

"Kid, everyone you have contact with could be in danger! Or did you learn nothing from it?!"

"Yes but ..."

"Nothing, but. Until further notice contact ban, and nothing is done on your own, is that clear?!"

"Yes, sir."

Cas saw that Dean had called him, but after he had tried the third time and was always blocked off, he gave up. Even more puzzled and admitting, he was a little hurt when he got the message to stop calling. What he could not have guessed was that Dean just wanted to protect him.

At first, he was angry because after all both were grown up and one could talk about such things. After a few hours, he got a restless feeling. He did not know why, but that feeling that something was wrong did not let him go.

"Kim. You have to do me a favor. I have to go to guard 51 and talk to Cas!"

"You are under observation, we can not get out of here. You can not get out of here."

Even if the intelligence was not there, there was no way to get past Sergeant Platt. No one could bypass the eyes and ears of guard 21.

After the dark blonde had talked to his partner for a quarter of an hour, Kim agreed to go with him to the fire station because they broke up earlier.

Said and done.

"Should I know something?" Chief Boden asked when he saw Dean and Kim coming, and after some whispering, the two men disappeared.

"It's all right, Chief," Burgess replied, putting on her most innocent smile, and the boss just mumbled back into the office.

"Come in here," the black-haired man said, pulling Dean by the arm into the bedroom.

"Can you keep a secret?" The young policeman asked nervously, looking around to see if no one could hear him. At that moment, Sylvie came by and picked up the last bits of words.

"Oh yeah. Casis the best secretary keeper there is. He has been here for weeks, and only yesterday he told me that he ... I mean ... I'm gone again, I have not heard anything and said nothing. Forget that I was here ... " As fast as she had come, she scurried off again and was annoyed with herself, because she still had talked too much.

Up to the part when his bank account was looted, he could tell when ...

'Truck 51 ...'

The mission was just a small building fire, and Cas was happy because he really could not concentrate. When he came back to the guard, Dean was gone. He tried to call again, but one voice said that the number was not available. He had never seen Dean so nervous and worried.

"Sylvie, do you have the number of Kim?"

The blonde was checking the equipment in the ambulance as Cas sat on the bed. She said that he had the sad puppy face and asked why.

"I can not tell you that."

Then she told him that he did not get the number and went on undeterred.

"You can look at me ever so forcefully with your angel eyes."

After some deliberation, he closed the doors of the ambulance and began to talk. From the fact that Dean was important to him, from the burglary into his apartment and his fears, he might be in trouble.

"If you meet her, I want to come with you."

"Why?"

"Because nothing is exciting in my life right now?!"

In the evening, the four met in Cas' apartment, because from now on, the two policemen knew that it was better to avoid public places.

All cards were put on the table, and nothing was kept a secret anymore. Dean's heart was a little easier after that because he had shared everything with the others and was sure that nobody would say a word about it.

"You take good care of him, yes?"

With a nod and a hug, Cas brought the two women to the door, and when he returned to the living room, he found Dean sitting on the couch, burying his head in his hands.

Slowly he sat down next to him, put a hand on his shoulder, after which he heard a deep sigh.

"Everyone around me is in danger. I ... "

When he raised his head and looked at Cas, he noticed the shimmering tears in his green eyes.

"I do not want to put you in danger."

"Shh ... do not worry about me, Dean," the black-haired man replied, squeezing the policeman's head against his chest and putting his other arm around his trembling body as well.

Immediately Dean clung to him, like a drowning man to the lifebuoy. From the very first glance into that kind, sea-blue eyes, Dean knew that the fireman was extraordinary, and almost never in his life had he felt so comfortable with a human even though he almost did not know him. Not yet, for he vowed to change that fact.

The soft, soothing words, the strong arms that held him safe, and the regular heartbeat he heard at his ear enabled Dean to calm down again quickly. He somehow felt tired and slid lower and lower, until he finally laid his head on Cas's lap.

"Just no hard-on, I feel very well," he chuckled because the young man could not resist that.

"I can not guarantee anything if you can not keep your head steady," Cas countered with a grin.

Time and again, long fingers brushed his short hair, down to his neck, causing goose bumps after another. Sighing happily, Dean closed his eyes but forced himself not to fall asleep.

Cas smiled at the warm feeling spreading through his body and just twitched occasionally when Dean drew circles over his kneecap with his thumb.

Neither of them said a word and yet there was so much on both of them because neither knew whether the other felt the tingling sensation either. But to find out, one had to take the first step. Only that was not so easy, because for Cas it was so long back that he had felt so for a man and Dean knew how the others talked about him. After all, he was known everywhere as Casanova. At that moment he would have preferred that he was not. That's why he wanted to do it right with Cas, did not want to scare him, tried to make him feel like he was not a one-night-stand.

As the body of the other hardly moved, Cas suspected that Dean had fallen asleep and became more courageous.

His fingers wandered. Over his shoulder, back, down to his firm butt, stroking, squeezing lightly. Every movement he pursued with his eyes and imagined what it would be like if no disturbing clothes were between them.

But Dean did not sleep, enjoying the soft touch that not only warmed his heart, because he felt something move in his pants. Just the ticking of the wall clock and the breathing of the two men was heard.

"Pleasant," Dean whispered.

"What?!"

Somewhat startled that the other one was not asleep, Cas left his hand where it was.

"It's pleasant ... petting me," Dean replied in a low, husky voice that continued to vibrate in each cell of Cas's body, and as the cop, as if by chance, moved his head back a bit, he sensed that the other was the same. That made Dean smile because now he had the answer to his mute question.

Slowly he got up and sat down on his lap. Cas closed his eyes for a moment as he felt that weight on his legs. If he was brave yesterday when he was drunk, he could hardly move now.

For a moment that seemed like an eternity to both, they just stared at each other. Blue hit green and with every passing second, the heartbeat of the two accelerated. If Cas' fingers could not stand still until a few moments ago, he did not know what to do with his hands, which lay tense next to his thighs. As if in slow motion, he saw Dean's face approaching and his eyes were getting bigger and bigger.

"We should not do that, Dean," Cas whispered as he felt hands on his shoulders and the policeman's warm breath on his face.

The dark blond nodded.

"The call I have is well known to me, Cas. But ..."

When he retired, he instead took the warm hands of the black-haired in his.

"I feel so comfortable with you and want to see where this leads us if you want it.

I can only imagine what you've heard all about me, but I can do it differently. I'll try ... with you. If you give me a chance."

The way he said that ... So sincere and yet pleading, hopeful and anxious at the same time. His eyes were radiating infinite warmth and affection ...

Dean was everything Cas always wanted and whoever would not dare would not win either. Or?

"Where is the ring?" Cas joked with a smile on his lips as Dean still held his hands.

"If I have money again," came the counter-response and both laughed.

"Then pick up where you left off ..." Cas whispered after both had calmed down again.

As if of course, his hands clung to Dean's hips, while the other's hands hid in the soft, black hair, caressing his cheeks tenderly, and finally coming to rest on the nape of his neck.

One last look into the emerald eyes before the blue ones closed and a quiver went through the firefighter's body when he felt soft lips on his own. He had waited so long for this feeling, and it was like intoxication, indescribable, magical. This kiss was everything and much more. He felt a hand grip the back of his head, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling him close to those delicious lips.

Cas gave as much as he got, stifled no groan as their tongues danced like snakes and explored the foreign territory. The hand was still in his hair, while the other drew circles on his chest, also pulled on the clothes. Breathless wheezing, lusty groaning, contented sigh filled the room.

He had had everything. Female, male, thin, thick, dry lips. Fast, lazy, curious and hesitant tongues. Experienced kissers and virgins. Dean was never really disappointed, they were all eager and left him satisfied, but there was always something missing, and he could never name it. Until now, until Cas.

Yes, Dean was a slut and always took anything that was willing. But those times were over, and he vowed to do it with every kiss he shared with Cas.

As he felt two hands on his butt grab tight and push him farther to the other body, their mids pressed against each other and the heat seizing every corner of his body, he could not help but moan out loud as if it was the first time he did experience. Again and again, it was the need to breathe, which separated both struggling for breath, but never too long, too much they longed for each other.

"Cas, I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight."

Until a few hours ago, Dean would not have believed that sentence would come his way, but when he looked into the beaming eyes of his fireman, he knew that was the right decision.

Cas nodded and was grateful that Dean made him feel worth more.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, the young policeman turned around and waved goodbye to Cas, who had just dropped him off at the police station. Dean was happy. He did not have a car or money, nor did he feel secure in his apartment, but he knew that this could be more serious with Cas.

"Hey, Burgess!" The fireman called, and despite the lack of time, he got out of his car for a moment when the dark-haired policewoman wanted to storm towards her patrol car.

"No time, I'm late," Kim laughed and wanted to wriggle out of the embrace as an explosion forced the three to their knees.

The loud noise made it impossible for the young people to hear anything for a moment and they could only read in the horrified faces of the approaching policemen, who seemed to ask if the three of them were alright.

It only took a few minutes for the fire department to arrive.

"Here you are, we've already missed you," Otis shouted, taking a quick eye-beak to hug the still confused Castiel.

"Did something happen to you? Are you alright?" Kelly also asked worriedly before the firefighters got down to work.

"If you had not been. You saved my life!"

"I was there. Never think about what would have been if, that will ruin you. Everything is okay."

Sighing, Cas held the upset policewoman in his arms and stroked her back, trying to calm her down while watching Dean.

So the nightmare started again, and he felt guilty. How he would like to put those responsible behind bars, but all efforts of the Intelligence have gone so far in the dark. Who would be next?

When Hank Voight saw the young policeman sitting in a corner away from the goings-on, he remembered that he and countless police officers had previously struggled with these things. The task of his unit was to uncover these cases and, even if it was still a little slow, he was sure that he could solve this case as well.

Therefore, he also knew how his young colleague felt, so he sat down next to him and spoke quietly but firmly, watching the action in front of his eyes.

"Listen, kid. It's not your fault. We'll find that bastard. You have my word."

Tears of despair burned in Dean's eyes. If it hit him, alright. But not his friends, that was not fair.

"Yes, Sarge."

"Now come on, somebody has to take care of you," he smirked, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing lightly.

Voight was tough, and everyone respected him, but he was not made of stone either. And for him, the top priority was to protect his large family.

"Burgess, Winchester, you're in the office now. Report to Sergeant Platt! Chief Boden, come here for a word."

The cards had to be put on the table because Voight was sure that the firefighters were also in danger.

"Keep your eyes and ears open and watch each other, but do not get hysterical."

With these words, Chief Boden ended his speech in front of his team and left them alone with their thoughts.

At lunch, Welch, the man for the firefighting squad, who had jumped in for the shift from Guard 84 at short notice, let out a spell he should have avoided.

No one liked this greasy guy, because he knew everything better.

"We all have to fear for our lives now, just because that idiot Winchester could not keep his mouth shut, or how?"

Cas was not the only one who dropped his cutlery and looked at him blankly, but he was the only one who got up and left. He had to get some fresh air. Otherwise, he would have stabbed him with a fork.

"Dude, I've seen car accidents that were less bad than your action," Cruz snarled, shaking his head, before getting up to look for his younger colleague.

"Let the idiot talk, in a few hours we will not see him anymore."

Comforting, he put a hand on Cas's shoulder because he saw how much the matter went to his heart.

Not two minutes later, the alarm sounded. But only for the ambulance. Gabriela threw Sylvie the car keys while walking and with blue light, they raced to the scene of the accident. According to the information, they were to find an old woman at the corner of a supermarket struggling with shortness of breath, but there was no one to be seen far and wide. Frowning, the two women stood together before Sylvie reached for the mobile radio.

"Ambulance 61 at the control center. We are at the said accident site, but it is abandoned."

Although it was rare, it happened that someone had allowed a joke.

After both had finished the mission report in the car and threw themselves a questioning shrug, Sylvie started the engine and wanted to get out of the side street, as a huge truck rushed at much too high speed on the ambulance and crashed head-on into the driver's side. It all took less than ten seconds, and none of the women had the chance to dodge. The ambulance was whirled around, the rear doors swung open, and within moments the road was paved with bandages and medical equipment before the car finally came to a stop.

"Ambulance 61 at the control center, we need the fire ..."

Then there was silence, as Gabriela lost consciousness after she sent the emergency call with her last strength. Neither of them heard the shouting as people hurried. No one saw that the truck had moved on. Both had their eyes closed.

"Is not that the address where Brett and Dawson were called. Why suddenly a traffic accident?" Herrmann wanted to know and slipped out of the shoes in no time and into the boots.

With the van, Chief Boden preceded, and goosebumps dragged over his body when he saw that it was his team involved in the accident.

"Oh, God!" Matt called a moment later and tore open the door even before the fire engine had come to a complete standstill. He was worried about his girlfriend and wanted to get to the car immediately.

Of course, all ware upset at the rescue mission of a different kind, but Chief Boden warned to rest.

Meanwhile, Sylvie regained consciousness, and even as a paramedic, knowing that it was better not to move, she instinctively looked around for help. Still, in shock, she clutched the steering wheel and kept shouting for Gabby, who did not move.

"I'm fine, look for Dawson," she screamed as Kelly checked her pulse.

"You do not look that way," he joked and looked questioningly at Matt, who answered in a slightly shaky voice.

"Pulse is weak, but there."

Casey wanted to shake her awake because she was not bleeding or had any other visible injuries, but he did think better of it.

"Mouch, support collar, emergency bag and then bring me the backboard!"

Unlike Sylvie, her colleague was quickly freed and was driven by ambulance to the Chicago Med.

"Okay, that looks bad. Hang on; we'll get you out," Kelly tried to calm the blond woman, who still held tight to the steering wheel and sobbed slightly.

It was not the pain but the shock that was in her bones. With crowbar and side cutter they tried to open the dented door. And it was loud. It was so loud that Sylvie almost lost her mind and was about to panic. Again and again, she inquired about her colleague, instead of worrying about herself, because from the hip down she felt nothing.

"Brett, stay with us. Your leg is pretty badly pinched, but we can handle it."

It took a long time, the strength of four men was necessary to unravel the door, and it took another long time until she finally lay on the backboard and knew that it was almost done.

As Sylvie stared at the white ceiling of the hospital room, she knew that the entire crew of the guard 51 sat in the waiting room. Because it has always been like this. All held together in difficult times. Her thoughts darted to Gabriela. No one had ever told her what was going on.

She remembered her first meeting. It was shortly after Leslie Shay's death. She knew that the two had been very close. No question, it was hard to start, but Gabby immediately made her feel welcome. The Latina was her first girlfriend in Chicago. Relieved, she let out a gasp as Boden finally came through the door.

"Chief. How is Dawson?"

"Do not worry. It's all right. Just like you, Brett. You both had many guardian angels."

He was right, except for a painful bruise on her tibia and Gabriela's concussion, both were as new.

"Oh, how boring. Neighborhood dispute."

Annoyed, Dean scanned the lines, put his signature underneath, and put the paper in the file.

Worried, he looked at his partner, who was sitting there in silence, staring holes into space. He could well imagine what was going through her head, after all, Kim had nearly fallen victim to an attack a few hours ago.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked cautiously but got nothing more than a shake of the head.

Loud voices, one of which he recognized as that of Sergeant Voight and the other as that of Antiono Dawson made him listen and in no time left his office. As suspected, the two had a man in custody who fiercely resisted.

"Who is this?" The young policeman wanted to know, but Sergeant Platt shooed him back into the room.

"Please," he pleaded with Trudy, who rolled her eyes and closed the door.

When he learned that it was the truck driver who caused the ambulance accident, Dean panicked. For one, because nobody told him about it, and another because he was worried about his friends, and most of all, he wanted to talk to that bastard. However, Trudy only pushed the quick-tempered man back into the chair, but she was persuaded to call the fire department for further information.

With the words that Voight would make the little bird sing, she left the office.

The birdie had not talked after one hour of intensive questioning.

Kim had gone home with Adam, and since Cas had a night shift, Dean had no choice but to spend the night in one of the dormitories. One could say that in the current way of life he felt like a prisoner. But at least, he got better food. His last thoughts were on Cas before he fell into a restless sleep.

Also on guard 51 Cas was in bed. Probably only a few minutes to briefly rest the tired eyes before the next alarm sounded. Somehow there was so much going on all day ... then the incident with Burgess, Brett, and Dawson ...

Sighing, he closed his eyes. Everything went so slowly. Of course, he knew that the Intelligence Unit did everything and also that it was not that easy, but all he wanted to live a fearless life again. With Dean.

Cas wondered how he was doing because his friend was so sorry for him because he knew that the dark blond was torturing himself with objections, although he could not help it.

Through a pillow that flew into his face, he was awake again.

"Where? What?"

Disoriented, Castiel sat up in bed and stared into the grinning face of his lieutenant.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. Say good morning to the next shift and then go home!"

Somewhat dizzy, since the three hours of sleep were not enough, he dragged himself out of bed. Such a 24-hour shift was already tough, but on the other hand, he was looking forward to two days off, a hot shower, a little sleep in his bed, and the afternoon when he finally saw Dean again.

But first came an important part.

With a smile on his face, he walked down the hallway in the Chicago Med, admiring the colorful pictures on the wall, but when he reached Sylvie's sickroom, which was deserted, his smile died down.

Most likely, there is no human being who did not immediately think of something bad if the patient was not in his room and it looked like no one had ever been there

"Are you looking for Sylvie Brett?" A nurse asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. Nodding, he responded to this question, and with a relieved sigh he followed her to another station.

"Here you are," Cas muttered, hugging the two women.

"As good as new," the blonde replied, sitting on the bed of her friend beaming with joy. "Ready for the next shift."

"It takes a while for me, they still want to do some tests," Gabriela muttered, grimacing.

"Get some rest, honey. We have a good replacement for you."

"But only if I'm allowed to drive," the fireman grinned.

"To drive the ambulance, you have to earn first."

"Right. Brett had a tracheotomy. You do it once," the dark-haired giggled.

After Sylvie had signed the discharge papers, she gratefully reached for the arm that offered Cas for her and followed a little hobbling, but good-humored.

"And I really should not stay with you?"

Rolling her eyes, she replied that Severide took over babysitting in two hours.

"Also, you have dark circles, go home and sleep out. I will call you later."

When he turned into his street, he did not notice the black van, which had been standing in front of his apartment for two days. Nor did he see that two men got out.

With a yawn, he locked his car, and while one of the men involved him in a short conversation, he did not see the other behind him, who approached rather quickly. All he knew was the pain, when he was hit on the hip with a taser, the stabbing pain on his neck when something was injected, and suddenly Cas got so dizzy that he sank to his knees.

It all happened so fast, even if he tried to fight back, he had no chance against the firm grip of the two. The next blow hit him in the stomach and took away his breath and the opportunity to call for help. One opened the sliding door, while the smaller of the two pushed the firefighter roughly in and before he could say anything, it was closed again with a loud noise.

When the engine started, he realized that he had been kidnapped, and as much as Castiel tried, he could not guess where the ride was going. Only one thing he knew for sure. He would not come out alive if no one found him, for he had seen their faces.


	5. Chapter 5

"Winchester!"

"Here at work, ma'am," he shouted in alarm, wincing at the sharp voice.

Sergeant Platt stood in the doorway with her arms folded, looking at the young man, who kept checking his watch, instead of finishing the police reports.

"If that's not finished, I'll give you an hour's detention," she replied with a sarcastic tone, causing Dean to give her a sad dog-face, mouth-corner has drawn down. Shaking her head, Trudy walked on again, muttering softly to herself.

Good humored, as he finally met Cas again in a few minutes, he strolled into the dressing room shortly after 5 pm to hang up his uniform. There he was astonished when his locker was open, and the lock had been removed, where he was sure he had left it neatly.

Immediately Dean checked to see if anything had been stolen, but that was not the case, but instead found a cell phone that was not his.

As he stood with his back to the door, he did not realize that Antonio was approaching him and almost dropped the phone in shock when he spoke to him.

"Do not you have phone ban!?"

"Is not mine."

"But?"

"Was in my locker."

Only now did Antonio realize that the lock on Dean's Spindt was missing.

"Platt will tear off your head, but you need a new lock."

The dark-blonde waved off because that was second-rate now. On the phone stuck a sticky note with the inscription to play the video when he was alone. The question of who had put it in his locker was uninteresting, for he wanted to know what was going on. But Antonio made no move to leave and so the other had no choice but to press the button.

"No. No no no!"

Startled and horrified, the younger man sank on the wooden bench. His worst fears had come true. They had Cas. Whoever they were. Dean's heart began to race as he stared wide-eyed at the display, which made it clear that Cas was being tortured. He was sitting on a chair, face bloodied, one eye swollen and his mouth duct-taped.

Breathing hard and with his hands tied behind his back, he mumbled something that nobody could understand. The shirt was torn and the pants dirty. Those bastards even took his shoes and socks. It was just terrible to see that and tears were swimming in Dean's eyes. But he did not have to bear this picture too long, because when the camera swiveled, he found himself confronted with a pig mask.

_'How fitting'_

In a few words, the kidnapper told him that he now knew what was most important to him after watching them the night before and that he would take that from him. Thank God he did not elaborate because that was not really for Dawson's ears. The demands were clear. Come alone and unarmed — no police. But what was missing were the clues.

"Did not you hear, no police. These bastards will kill him!" He exclaimed in horror as Antonio ripped the phone from his hand, grabbed his arm and was about to go up one floor.

"Dude, are you that stupid? Do you want to die too?"

All that mattered to him was that his friend did not die because of him.

"Dean!"

Antonio put his hands on the shoulders of his desperate colleague and patiently waited for him to look up.

Of course, he knew that these correctly trained people of this unit had all the means to track down the kidnapper or kidnappers. And, of course, he knew it was a suicide squad trying to do it alone.

How many times had he been dealing with the ransom and told the victims exactly what Antonio told him? But it was a bit different when you were in this situation yourself.

'Closed Society'

Herrmann hung this sign on the outside door of the Molly's before he turned and closed the door behind him. This case had united the two uniformed families even closer, and everyone looked at each other with helpless faces.

"What a huge shit," Otis said, expressing what everyone thought.

At this point, no one knew how bad the thing was. At this time, Cas fought for his life, and Dean feared for his own.

"Well. Just sitting around and brooding will not get us anywhere."

Hank got up and emptied his glass in one go.

"The sooner we put him behind bars, or six feet under, the better. He, or maybe several of them, is after the Fire Department and the Police Department. I will not let that happen."

When he left, all the policemen followed him and went back to work. It was the middle of the night, but it did not matter. Now it had to be done because everyone knew that it was a race against time.

"You're going to dig up everything, friends, family, real estate, organizations ... Let go of all your informants. I want to know everything. Ask the neighbors. Somebody must have seen something!"

"Play it again ..."

There was not much on the video, but one thing caught Dean's eye. As the camera swiveled from Cas to the kidnapper, he recognized the brown-and-white tiled floor and the shelf of various chemicals. He was sure it was this storeroom where they had caught the drug lord back then.

"Do you recognize something?" Ruzek asked, but Dean shook his head, determined to go there alone.

Although it was only a lead of a second, as he was sure it would be only a matter of time before the others found out about the location, he could not and did not want to expose Castiel to that danger. If he did not lose his life then definitely his badge, but he did not care. But it was not as easy as he had imagined, because nobody let him out of sight for even a moment.

It took several hours, but the search of the intelligence finally brought some light into the matter thanks to the experienced staff.

Burgess was tired of the office staff. Her friends were in danger, and she had to participate. Of course, she was scared, but that, in turn, made her adrenaline go up.

"Sarge! We are out of the line of fire. These bastards have what they want. Let us help!"

Voight and Platt exchanged a look and finally nodded.

"Please take good care of her," he told Antonio, patting his shoulder before disappearing out the door.

"Okay you two pretty ones, come here."

Trudy put a file on the table and briefly explained the case to both of them.

"We found fingerprints of these two model boys on the car bomb. You will observe the house. "

"Should we gain access?" Burgess asked.

"Sure, there might be a bunch of explosives stored there, do that," was the sarcastic answer.

The observation brought nothing because the homeowner did not let himself be seen.

Back on guard 21, none of the cops had closed their eyes for more than a day.

_'How can I get out of here?!'_

Dean was so edgy that he felt he had to run up the walls. It was worse than in captivity.

"Sergeant. Will I get five minutes with the driver of the truck, alone?"

He had to let his pent-up anger out somewhere. The unit of intelligence was known to use harder means too. But as long as it did not degenerate, all looked over it, because this unit had the highest enlightenment rate, which could not be denied. That was only half the truth because Dean knew there was a window in the room and saw his chance, but Hank Voight thwarted him and shook his head.

"I'm going to eat something for a moment. My stomach is down in my knees. Dean?"

He also could handle a little thing, and so he nodded to Adam. It was almost dark outside, and they were nearly the only ones in the canteen, and though his stomach rumbled, the young policeman poked listlessly in his food.

Until ...

"One of my informants, I have to go there," Adam said as his phone rang and Dean's heart pounded faster. That was his chance, and he was not allowed to mess up that.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a minute," Dean replied and was about to get up.

"Wait for me."

"Do you want to watch me, you tensioner? I can do it alone ", he grinned and winked at his colleague, who was already talking on the phone.

With a swing, Dean pushed open the door and knelt on the floor to make sure that he was alone. Like a climbing acrobat, he balanced on one of the sinks and opened the window. It was not big, and he had to work hard. The sweat stood on Dean's forehead as he sent a thousand prayers to heaven, leaving him undetected.

Before that, Dean had left his service weapon and badge on the sink, knowing that Adam would soon be looking for him.

Almost the young policeman slipped and was able to hold on to the fire escape with his last strength. Granted, this plan was not well thought out, but he had little time for that. Carefully but swiftly and quietly he slid down and with one last jump Dean finally felt the ground under his feet.

The conversation lasted a little longer than expected, and when Adam saw the open window, the badge, and Dean's gun, he could only moan annoyed.

"Damn son of a bitch!"

Sergeant Voight responded the same way, and the information Ruzek provided could not ease his anger. Dean was impulsive, usually acting before he thought, and Hank recognized himself in him. Many years of experience lay between the two, but on the other hand, the sergeant had to admit that he probably would have acted the same way.

A few blocks away Cas dozed off again and again. He had lost all sense of time and was so incredibly thirsty. Again and again, he ruffled his bare toes to dispel the cold that sneaked through his body. Breathing was hard for him because of the adhesive tape that was stuck over his mouth like a bomb and that lousy smell of chemicals and moisture did not make it any easier.

He was alone, sitting in a chair and did not know what hurt more. The wrists that were tightened with cable ties or his stomach, which had already had to take a few rubdowns, probably even a rib had broken. The young firefighter tried to think of something nice.

Tears came to Cas's eyes as he imagined he might never see these people again, that he liked so much. Especially now that he had found his great love ...

Grimacing, he moved his mouth again and again, and with his tongue, he managed after a long time to inhale a little more oxygen. Relieved, the black-haired sighed. But that relieved sigh changed to horrified the moment the heavy door creaked, and an amused voice was heard.


	6. Chapter 6

That he would be faster with a damn car, Dean thought as he made his way. He knew his goal, and even if it was not far, it felt like an eternity. The policeman had no idea what to expect. Without a weapon, safety vest and support, he ran to the warehouse, praying not to be late. He did not know how many he had to expect, only knew that he had to free Cas.

Twice he heard a police siren and hid in panic among garbage cans. His breath rattled as if he had asthma. The shirt stuck to his body and he wiped his sweaty hands on his black trousers a few times.

At that time there were not many people on the street and in the deserted area where the warehouse stood, he was confronted only with absolute darkness.

Two doors were locked, only at the third, he was lucky. As hard as he tried, this door creaked, and Dean closed his eyes, groaning in annoyance. That was not to be missed. And so it was, and the surprise visit was no longer one. First, he felt a sharp punch on the back of his head and then he found himself on the ground again on his hands and knees.

"Look, it took a long time. I've been waiting for you."

Through the sparse light of the moon shining through the windows, he could only see the silhouette. According to his voice, he was maybe a little older than Dean, but twice as heavy. Then Dean was roughly dragged to his feet. The man who faced him was the same height, and the eyes that glared at him sparkled with anger.

"Where is Castiel, what did you do with him?" Dean snarled.

"As if you have something to say here, but do not worry, your lover is still alive," came the sarcastic response that was followed by another slap in the face, this time from a smaller man who had appeared out of nowhere.

Groaning in pain, the younger man writhed as the two dragged him across the floor, opened a door, and pushed him inside. The smaller of the two disappeared again without saying a word.

"Look who wanted to sneak in here!"

The image that opened before his eyes broke his heart and in no time he crawled to the bound man. With trembling hands, he leaned on Cas's thigh.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry."

"Enough of cuddling. Stand up!"

Again he was pulled to his feet and scanned from top to bottom, and when asked if he was alone, Dean nodded.

"Plus point for you. You followed the instructions. Does not help you!"

"Let him go. It's something personal between us."

A mocking laugh was all he got in response before he reached into his jacket pocket, took out a picture and threw it on the floor in front of Dean.

"Yes, it is something personal. You have no idea how personal this is. Call it karma or destiny. When I visited my cousin in prison some time ago, and he told me who had arrested him, I did not know what to do with the name first. Only days later I remembered it. Take a look at the photo!"

On it was a young woman. Dean suspected a Mexican, like the man standing in front of him.

"Can you remember now?"

Shaking his head, the young policeman said no. That only made the stocky, bearded man angrier and he brutally pulled Dean's head back, squeezing the photo into his face.

"Her name was Rosita. She was my sister, went to university here and wanted to study medicine, and then she met you. She was young and pure, and you polluted her and then dropped her. Rosita had her whole life ahead of her. One night with you and there was nothing left of this happy girl when she found out she was pregnant."

"I did not know that" Dean replied, but was immediately slapped in the face with the barrel of the gun before he was told to shut up.

"There were complications," he continued, his voice whiny. "Both died at this birth. My cousin wanted revenge because he never comes out, but I ... you took my sister and my nephew. She meant everything to me, and that's why I'm going to do the same thing now!"

With these words, he aimed at Cas and fired once, without hesitation. In no time a red spot spread on the bright shirt. Never before had the young firefighter been shot and had to admit that he had never felt such pain.

Whether vital organs were hit, he did not know, had no time to think about it. Cas toppled over and felt only the impact on the hard ground before darkness surrounded him.

"No!"

It was a horrified and bloodcurdling scream and wide-eyed, Dean had to stand by and watch Castiel sink to the ground. As if of course he jumped up and wanted to go to him before he felt a punch in his stomach, which forced him to his knees.

"And you do not deserve to live!"

When he saw the motionless body a few paces away and felt the barrel of the pistol against his forehead, he had already finished his life in thought. Without Cas, he did not want to go on living, and if the bullet did not kill him, it would be the fact that Castiel had been killed by his guilt. A last shaky breath came from his lungs before he closed his eyes and heard the click as the man unlatched his weapon.

Two hours later, Sergeant Voight nodded to his colleague before calling Chief Boden.

"We have him and are on the way."

Boden did not hesitate for a moment and since all the firefighters were gathered at Molly's and the guard was only a few steps away, they decided to go there.

The chief briefly clarified the matter with the shift's boss, and although he knew he needed to engage in some conversation afterward, it was a clear case and a personal issue for him and his team. And as it turned out, it was good that the fire brigade was there.

"Make ready. Marching off in five minutes!"

In no time the crew of the Intelligence Unit retreated, and it took less than five minutes to get all focused and 100% ready.

"We have to get out of here. Immediately! It's burning!"

As the smaller of the two kidnappers screamed over and over again, the man still holding the gun to Dean's temple groaned and thought for a moment before going off with the other man to get an overview.

Before closing the door, he shouted to Dean that he should not be happy too soon.

"Oh God. Cas ... Cas!"

Dean looked around in panic and saw a piece of glass from a broken window on the floor. His lips were not the only thing that trembled, and in no time he cut the fetters on his wrists before turning the black-haired man on his back.

All that went through his head was to stop the bleeding. Desperate, he tore Cas's shirt in half to see how bad it was. What came out of his mouth could be described as a mixture of hysterical, relieved, nervous laughter, mixed with a desperate sob. It went right through, and the place seemed to have missed all the vital organs.

But he had lost a lot of blood. That was why he had become unconscious. That had to be the reason.

"Dean ..." Cas whispered, opening his eyes, the pain as Dean squeezed his wound, bringing him back to reality.

"Thank God. Oh fuck. Man Cas, please stay awake, I'll get you out of here!"

There was a loud rumble of thunder and rain came through the broken window, dripping onto the floor as Dean moved closer to the trembling body and took Cas's hands in his. This window was too high up for anyone to get through and there was only one door in the small room, and it was locked. It was somehow ... hopeless.

"Please hold on. Help is on the way, certainly."

Dean had no idea if that was true, but he had to try everything to keep the other alive.

"Tell me something beautiful," the black-haired whispered. He was so cold, but it was a warm feeling to have his friend so close.

"These were some crazy days, right?" He laughed nervously, but at that moment he did not feel like laughing. Maybe that was to overplay his despair.

Something beautiful? Damn it. Looking for help, he looked around, but as hard as he tried, he could think of nothing beautiful in this hopeless situation.

Suddenly he felt the weight on his shoulder getting heavier and heavier as Cas's head sank deeper and deeper.

"Wow, Cas. No, no, look at me. Do not get flabby now. You want to hear something beautiful?" With a jerk, he turned to him and took his face in both hands.

"You. Cas, you are the most beautiful and wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Your eyes, your lips ... "

Full of desperation and with tears in his eyes, he pressed his lips to Cas's.

"I love you. I want to live with you. Will you marry me?"

Maybe it was soppy, maybe it was the sheer hopelessness that made him say that, but Dean was sure, and even if those were the last minutes they had together, he did not want to live with the certainty of having that question never asked.

Only slowly did these words reach him, but when they filled his heart, Cas smiled with his last strength.

"I love you," he whispered before his eyes became so heavy that they just closed.

"That's so touching that I want to puke my guts," suddenly the voice of the kidnapper sounded and was accompanied by slow clapping.

"You lousy asshole!" Dean shouted and laid Cas carefully on the ground before he was on his feet in no time.

If it had been possible, sparks of anger would have come out of his eyes.

"Well, well ... not a step, stay calm," the dark-skinned man grinned, flashing a gold tooth as he waved his pistol in front of Dean's face.

The cop did not care, so he staked everything on one card. At the next clap of thunder that brought the man out of control, he took the opportunity and lunged at him. As if in a trance, he beat up on him, pocketed just as much as he spread and fought for his life to wrest the pistol from him. One shot broke and then a second — both in the air. Screaming and cursing, Dean finally made it, and the gun fell to the ground with a loud clack.

The noise made the young firefighter awake again, and even though the pain was unbearable and he saw it all just a little blurry, he could see that Dean was in the greatest danger because his tormentor had a knife in his hand.

With his last strength, he crawled forward on the cold ground and finally got the pistol between his slippery fingers, which he held with his trembling hands.

Cas had never fired a weapon. Though he knew how to do it, the figures in front of him moved so fast that he was afraid to hit the wrong one. But if he did not make a quick decision, that would be fatal. While he sent a prayer to Heaven, he squeezed the trigger.

While Adam was still wondering why his sergeant had told him via mobile radio to get a clearance vehicle as quickly as possible, his own car turned as automatically.

At the same time, Voight had arrived in front of the warehouse with Antonio, watching a man get into an armored van and seem to be waiting for something.

"Probably the safest place in town," Hank muttered, after passing his command to Ruzek.

Just when he had wondered where the damned fire brigade was staying, as the building was already on fire, the sirens of the two fire trucks were sounding, led by the Chiefs' vehicle and accompanied by the ambulance.

That, in turn, meant that the man in the armored vehicle lost his nerve and drove off at breakneck speed.

Immediately, two of the patrol cars took up the chase and what happened then was only heard over the radio.

Adam now knew why he drove this vehicle, and his eyes shone because secretly he always wanted to do something like that. He was in constant contact with the patrol officers and taking advantage of the first opportunity, and without thinking much about it, he rammed the black van. Over and over again.

"Task completed. I need an ambulance, or rather a hearse. Not much more left than a pile of tin."

Shaking his head, Chief Boden held back the police officers who were about to storm the building after Voight told the Chief about the explosions possibly caused by propane gas bottles.

"First of all, my men get an overview. Casey, Severide, split up your teams!"

"Damn shit, Cas. You should go to the police," Dean joked and let out a short laugh.

The young firefighter did not feel like laughing, much more he felt he had to vomit. He had no time to think about the fact that he had just shot a man because the two had to get out of here immediately.

As good as possible, Dean supported his friend and was confronted after a few steps with a fire that seemed to have no way out. The smoke took their breath away and, coughing, they took one step in front of the other.

"The stairs," the black-haired man gasped, nodding in that direction.

He sensed that his strength was leaving him, and sank painfully down on one of the steps.

"I can not anymore. Dean, get out of here," he whispered, but Dean just told him he did not want to hear his lamentation.

Cas kept trying to get up, but he had the feeling that every bone in his body was made of rubber. The heat was almost unbearable, and Dean lost all hope for a moment before placing his hand on Cas's cheek, looking him straight in the eye and answering firmly.

"I did not risk my ass for you, so you give up now. We did it right away. If necessary, I carry you, and if that does not work, I'll drag you out of your hair here. Do you hear?"

Cas's soft giggles turned into a coughing fit.

"A firefighter dies in the fire. It should be exactly like this."

"The first thing I do is to spank your sweet little ass, should you say another word," Dean muttered, pulling him to his feet.

Cas cried out in pain, but Dean had neither compassion nor insight.

It is said that people develop extraordinary skills in exceptional situations. That's exactly how it was. Although Dean could not carry his friend, he could support and pull and drag him. Closer and closer they came to the door to the roof, only a few steps. Almost done.

The only thing the dark blonde could think of was that it was not already burning on the roof, because that would have meant the end for both. With last strength, Dean reached the door handle and immediately pulled his hand back screaming.


	7. Chapter 7

"Chief, we have a body here."

Matt was the first to kneel on the ground and breathe a sigh of relief, as it was not one of his friends.

"We have to find them!" Otis shouted, looking around for help.

"Fire Department, call out. Dean! Castiel!"

Again and again, the firefighters called and listened intently to any noise. But apart from a few small explosions of chemicals and falling beams, there was no sound. The situation became dicey, and Chief Boden struggled with himself. He had to get his men out and quench the fire; otherwise, everything would be lost.

"Water comes in two minutes. See that you get your asses out!"

Everyone knew what that meant. Water and heat would cause everyone to cook in minutes.

"Lieutenant!"

Kelly shook his head. No, he would not give up, he could not lose anyone else after Shay, and he knew his team was 100% behind him.

"Scream. Yell your soul out of your body. We have to find the two!"

Cas looked at Dean's burned hand and knew what that meant. That's it.

"I'm sorry," Dean sobbed. "I am sorry to have you all involved."

He helplessly shrugged because he did not know what to say when he let himself sink.

"It's okay," Cas replied only, leaning against him, grabbing his friend's hands, which had settled around his upper body.

"I love you."

These whispered and honest words produced goose bumps on Cas's body despite the heat and smiling he replyed the words.

The air was getting tighter, the eyes heavier, it was hopeless, and both had come to terms with the fate. The fire was crackling around, and both men were caught on the stairs. Hugging tightly and pressing their cheeks together, they crouched on the steps. On the one hand it was frightening, but on the other hand, it had something reassuring.

No death that one wished, but who could choose that already ...

"Do you hear that?"

Cas sat up wide awake when he thought he heard voices.

"Hmm ... you hallucinate," Dean replied dully, his head on Cas's back, eyes closed.

"No. Dean! Wake up!"

When he raised his head and had the same hallucinations, the adrenaline was back in no time and screaming, he made himself noticeable.

"We have them. Cas has a gunshot wound. We're coming out now, "Casey said to his chief, smiling with relief. Then everything went very fast. Too fast that Dean's brain could handle it.

Relieved, the Chief let out a breath as he saw his entire crew come out of the smoke. Not a second too early.

Some days passed.

"Well, how are you?"

With a kiss and a little plush angel as a present, Dean greeted his wounded boyfriend at the hospital. When Cas glared at him with his sky blue eyes, the policeman fell in love again. Relieved to have survived everything, he squeezed him, causing the black-haired to cry out.

"Love hurts sometimes, you have to go through it now because I'll never let you go again," Dean laughed before sitting down on the bed and taking Cas's hand in his.

"Ask me now. Ask me again."

"What should I ask?" Dean wondered.

"Whether I want to marry you. Ask me now on the spot again," Cas replied, and his voice broke.

"You should have answered the first time," the policeman answered wittily and smiled.

"So that this day is always remembered? No thanks. I did both of us a favor." With tears in his eyes, he began to sob and buried his face in his hands. It certainly would take a few more seconds to process these horrible hours.

Dean retook his hands and kissed both. Seeing his friend so upset gave him a stab right in the heart. He lovingly put a hand on his cheek and stroked the tears away with his thumb.

"I love you."

"I know. The answer is yes. The answer is always yes."

"I know that, but I want to do it right."

Cas nodded and sighed. The last days and weeks had plunged the sensitive firefighter into a chaos of emotions. For one, he had found the dream job and could do what he wanted to do as a little boy.

He had made many friendships, had fallen in love and found in Dean, a man who supported him in everything and was always there for him.

And then this terrible incident that many of the two guards had to go through and Dean and himself had almost lost their lives. And then there was something the dark blonde had to tell him, and he was trying hard to hold back his tears and give his friend support when he told him the bad news.

Overall, Cas was in the hospital for two weeks, and he could not wait to get out again.

"Is this necessary?" He grumbled as Dean pushed him through the hospital corridor in a wheelchair.

"Stop talking. Up to the door there, you are a patient. Besides, I love to mother you," the young policeman chuckled.

"So you think I'm the woman in our relationship?!" the black-haired teased and looked over his shoulder, shaking his head.

"Yes," Dean answered firmly, chuckling again.

A few minutes later, both sat in the car.

"Dean, can we drive to Sylvie for a while?"

"Of course," he replied, squeezing Cas's hand, who then gave him a small smile.

Neither said a word as they walked along the long, paved path, listening to the wind rustle through the leaves.

"Hey, Brett," the black-haired man sighed and held out a hand.

When he felt the cold stone under his fingers, tears came into his eyes.

'One of the Best' was written on the tombstone.

He still could not believe it. The last time he saw her, she was fine and then ...

After days, the doctors had discovered the blood clot that had gone unnoticed into her brain, but it was too late ... Sylvie was already dead. Four days before his release. The only consolation was that she had not noticed. It went very fast.

"I miss you. Who will give me cooking tips now, who ..."

His voice broke, and the whisper went into a sob.

"I'm there. Always," Dean said, squeezing his hand harder, before closing him in a tight and loving hug and kissing his temple.

For days his friend was talking about a surprise, and Cas was more excited than he had been in a long time.

"Seriously?!"

When both were back in the car, Dean held a blindfold in front of his face. Rolling his eye, the fireman nodded, because he could not refuse the other, especially not when he looked at him so lovingly with his beautiful, bright, green eyes.

The ride took almost four songs that sounded from the car radio, and both sang along cheerfully, and Cas waited expectantly as Dean turned off the engine, got out, opened the passenger door and handed his friend his hands. What he had not told Castiel was that his parents were pretty wealthy because he did not want to stand before him like a spoiled sonny boy. Even more so, where he had sworn to abandon his lavish ways of life.

But, you do not look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

Maybe it was also the fact that their problem child had finally found someone he was serious about, which had caused his parents to give him his inheritance prematurely.

"Careful, two steps."

With a beating heart and small footsteps, Cas let himself be led, then heard a key that was turned around and felt a moment later that he was pushed forward.

What he saw when he finally had his blindfold removed was hard to believe. Shaking his head and still amazed, he noticed that all his belongings were carefully distributed as he walked through each of the rooms with Dean.

Overpowered by the emotions, Cas fell around his neck and squeezed his friend as hard as he could and, lacking in words, showed him what he thought with a long and passionate kiss.

For the past two weeks, Dean had had plenty of time since he had been suspended from duty, and with the help of the numerous volunteers who had helped with the renovation, the old house became a cozy nest, just in time for Cas's release.

"And the best thing is ... It's exactly 248 steps to Molly's. And that's exactly where we're going now."

"Not yet," the black-haired man whispered, gently scratching Dean's neck with his fingers and breathing soft kisses on the smooth skin of his neck.

_'Oh, Cas ...'_

It took the young policeman a lot, a lot of overcoming to resist, and he wanted to spend a couple of nice hours with his friend, but everyone was waiting in Molly's.

"If you can not put on the damned poster, leave it, they're on their way," Kim said with a sigh, looking up at Severide, who was twisting in the chair, trying to put the welcome poster between the lamps.

The cheers were great when the two men finally came in at the door, and all hugged each other in relief. Dean had thought for a long time, and a part of him said that it was something personal between the two, but on the other hand, he wanted everyone to be there, and so he had decided to ask him here in front of the assembled team the question of all questions.

He breathed one last time and wiped his damp hands on his pants before he took Cas's hands in his and looked deep into his eyes.

In the room it was quiet, only the soft tones of the song of Bon Jovi's, 'Thank you, for loving me', were heard.

"Will he bend a knee?" Mouch whispered, chuckling softly, but Trudy warned him to be quiet.

"It has been a few difficult days that have brought us all, and especially the two of us, closer together. But even before all this crap, I realized that you're the man, with whom I want to spend my life. A look into your eyes and I know we will do it all. Together. Castiel, I love you. Do you want ..."

"Yes, yes ... of course," the fireman interrupted him, and while everyone was giggling, laughing, applauding and clapping, the two hugged each other.

Cas had tears of joy and emotion in his eyes, and with a short but passionate kiss, the engagement was sealed.

"Oh wait, I have something else there," the young policeman grinned, reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a simple silver ring.

That was the second consideration that had bothered him a lot.

But two days after the liberation, it was at the time when Cas was still feeling pretty bad, but already determined that he would recover completely, he sat down with Sylvie and Kim and together they chose this ring. Because, as Sylvie had said, a symbol was important.

Dean chuckled as he took Cas's hand, which trembled slightly, and put the ring on his finger.

"I love you."

"I love you, Dean," the fireman replied, hugging him again.

When he opened his eyes again, his view stuck to the table where his best friend was always sitting.

"She would have been happy for you," Cruz said, who had followed his gaze and put a hand on his shoulder.

Cas nodded, and while a single tear ran down his cheek, he saw in his mind the blonde who smiled at him.

"Congratulations, kid," Hank Voight said, patting Dean on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Sarge," the policeman replied and sat down next to him at the bar for a moment, looking out of the corner of his eye at his fiancé, who was laughing and joking with his colleagues and smiled.

"That was very brave what you did two weeks ago."

"Thank you."

"And very stupid," Voight continued, and Dean nodded.

"Thanks for getting up for me," Dean replied, knowing that it could have been worse than just a two-week suspension.

Voight reached into the small black bag that lay beside him on the counter and pulled out Dean's badge and gun, shoving both toward him.

Gratefully, he nodded to him and his eyes beamed.

"You do not have to thank me," he smirked, nodding at Trudy, who had seen that look and was struggling to make it to the two men.

Without thinking, he jumped up and hugged Sergeant Platt, who was a bit taken aback but could not resist a slight smile.

"So, enough now," she murmured and wriggled out of the embrace, at which point all three had to laugh. "Stick to it, then something will become of you, Winchester."

"Your first battlefield injury," Dean grinned when he saw his boyfriend standing in front of the bathroom mirror and hugged him from behind.

Cas nodded, sighing, but at the same moment, he was filled with happiness as his fiance stroked his naked torso.

"What now?" He asked with a wink and looked at Dean in the mirror.

"We could pick up where we left off a few hours ago."


	8. Chapter 8

In the past few days, if he was not at the hospital with his friend, Dean had plenty of time to think. About his life, about the people he had hurt. Until the time he met Cas, Dean did not know much about love, had many affairs, but no one had meant anything to him. You could say he was selfish and only interested in his advantage. A daredevil, regardless of losses. One of those mistakes almost cost both of them their lives.

"Do not hurt him."

Kim's words echoed in his ears. No, he would prove it to everyone. He would show everyone that Dean Winchester had changed. And he wanted to do it right. He and Cas did not even have a first date.

The young fireman turned with a smile to his fiancé, pulled on his sweater and patiently waited until Dean raised his arms so he could remove the disturbing fabric. Then he put both hands on his shoulders and stroked his arms down, taking his right hand and pressing that palm to his lips as he looked into his eyes all the time.

"You also have a battleship injury," he smirked as he felt the burn scar on his soft lips and squeezed a kiss on it.

Sighing with satisfaction, Dean closed his eyes as he felt those soft but at the same time a bit rough hands of the firefighter on his chest, his fingers tracing every line leaving goose bumps on his well-toned body.

As Dean, he was not a muscle pack, but you could tell they were holding their bodies in shape. For two years, Cas was no longer so close to a man, and he was nervous.

"Just stand still, okay?"

Dean nodded, holding still and enjoying the other exploring his upper body. Only with the fingers, then with his lips and finally also this awesome tongue was used. The breath of the two became faster and louder, and their arousal was no longer concealed.

As Dean felt gentle bites on his back, just below his neck, he could no longer suppress a loud moan. It felt so good to feel the soft lips on his heated skin, which spread light kisses over his shoulder blades and then down his spine and the quick tongue that licked the highly sensitive parts. Then he came back to his front, and the stiff nipples that stuck out like two small pointed hills on the well-defined chest had Cas's full attention. Slowly and cautiously, then faster and noisier, he let his tongue play, gently putting his teeth in there as well and reaping a new deep moan.

With his eyes closed, Dean tried to find somewhere to hold, because he felt that his legs gradually gave way. With one hand resting on the sink and the other buried in the thick hair of his fiancé, he threw his head back and had the sensation of burning as fireworks exploded in his cells.

The black-haired became more and more courageous, pushing his body to Dean's. Every fiber of his body screamed to be touched, but he resisted. Instead, let his hot breath touch the other's face without touching him — cheeks, ears, neck. Then put his hands on Dean's butt, stroking slowly up and down, then slipped his hands into the back pockets of those jeans and pressed Dean firmly to his own body. Both groaned as their midst met, waves of ecstasy rushing through both bodies.

"Please kiss me," the dark blonde whispered, biting his lower lip full of desire.

Although Dean always enjoyed control and was already on the verge of mastery, he liked the fact that Cas was in charge. As if in slow motion, he noticed how the tip of his tongue emerged between his lips and moistened those lips, how those bright eyes fixed his own, and that little mischievous twinkle.

Then, finally. Cas took Dean's hands and put them on his hips.

"Touch me," he whispered huskily, and of course they stroked his back.

The heads moved towards each other. Too slow. Soft lips laid on each other and it took only a blink of an eye until both were merged into one passion. Slow and lazy, fast and nimble. Just as their mouths and tongues moved, their lower bodies rubbed against each other. For nothing in the world, Dean wanted to leave that position, even if it meant he was coming in his pants, like a fucking teenager.

Mutually, they swallowed the sweet sounds and took only air, if necessary. Everything was perfect. Even their body size. Tenderly, Dean nibbled on Cas's lower lip, opened his eyes to see the other man's flushed face, his ruffled hair and his gleaming eyes. He knew he looked the same.

Cas was no different. Part of him told him that he should at least take off his pants, but another part did not want to move away from his fiancé. Dean brought a hand between both erections, stroking, squeezing and rubbing faster and faster.

"Dean!"

It was a desperate, dark, aroused and at the same time pleading growl that broke Cas's lungs and disappeared into Dean's mouth and all he could do was press his hands tighter into the other's buttocks to hold him there were both wanted to feel it so badly.

"'S okay," Dean smirked, holding on to his friend and orgasm the moment Cas's hot breath, followed by a relieved sigh, brushed the sensitive auricle.

Not only did Dean's legs tremble and eventually they both stumbled and lay laughing on the cold tiles in the bathroom.

When Cas woke in the morning and his first glance fell on the ring he smiled very briefly before his eyes became sad. At that moment, his fiancé came in.

"Good Morning Sunshine."

He put the two cups of coffee on the bedside table and sat down on the bed. Cas slid up, suddenly clapped his hands over his face and began to sob. Dean did not know how to react at first, just looked at him wide-eyed.

"I am sorry. Excuse me. It's just ... It's crazy. I can not handle this flood of emotions."

"Hey. You should talk to me when that happens. What else should it be for? "Dean replied softly and took his hand, stroking the ring. "It's not just about having sex when and where you want."

The sensitive firefighter laughed with tears and took a shaky breath.

"OK. It's just that when I woke up earlier, my first thought was that I had to call Sylvie."

"She helped me choose the ring. She was genuinely happy for us."

Cas nodded and sniffed.

"She was ... she was my best friend."

"I know that," Dean replied, taking Cas in his arms and squeezing him, stroking his hair and back, whispering trivia into his ear until he calmed down.

"What do we want to do the remaining three days before the work takes over again?"

Dean dropped onto the mattress beside him, folded his hands behind his neck, and looked at him questioningly.

"Stay in bed," the black-haired man smirked, turning to him and waving his eyebrows, then wrinkling his nose as he smelled his T-shirt and taking it off. "But first I'll take a shower."

As he walked, he turned around again, got out of his underpants, gave him a cheeky look over his shoulder, and asked him to come along.

"Dean!" He yelled in a long-drawn-out tone from the bathroom.

"What?!"

The dark blonde was still lying in bed motionless and had to digest the impressions first because he had seen his fiance completely naked for the first time. Then he jumped up fast, got rid of his boxer shorts because he wanted to see more.

A brief giggle escaped him at the thought that he was already engaged, but had not even had sex with the other. That was the new Dean Winchester, and admittedly, he was a bit proud of himself.

He was sure that Cas had to hear his loud, thumping heartbeat as he spread some soap on his hands and began to stroke his sweetheart with it.

"You can touch it too. It does not bite. But it sometimes spits," the firefighter chuckled as he realized Dean was hesitant.

"What ?!" He asked perplexed and looked at him uncertainly, because the blood in his brain, which was necessary for thinking, had long ago rushed down.

"Dean Winchester. Did you become shy overnight?" Castiel replied with a big grin.

"Come here you ..." Dean laughed and pulled him into a stormy kiss. At the same time, Cas's eyes fell on something he had not seen before. It was up on the ledge, between shampoos and various washing utensils.

He stretched and took it in hand. Dean blushed a bit and hoped he would not have to explain that.

"You have thought of everything," Cas smiled and caressed almost devoutly over the shower head, which resembled a dildo.

"Um ... yes," replied the dark blonde and scratched his neck a little embarrassed.

With the words that it might be used, Cas put the intimate shower next to the soap.

Again, they turned to the 'dirty' bodies of each other, interrupted again and again by hot, greedy kisses and soft nasty words, which they whispered in the ear. How long the two were in the shower, no one knew, you only noticed it at the water temperature, which was no longer hot, but only lukewarm. Was not important, because the two were already glowing with arousal.

"Turn around," Cas suddenly whispered as he unscrewed the shower head to attach the other.

Now it was he who was nervous. After all, it was a long time ago, and he did not want to hurt him. But damn, he wanted it so badly, just like Dean did.

The last time Dean had anything to do with a man was half a year ago, and his heart was thumping as he put his hands to the cold tiles and leaned back a bit.

Satisfied, he sighed as he felt Cas squeezed out the wet bath sponge over his back again and again because that was very pleasant. Gently he stroked it up to his neck and down over his ass. Again and again.

Until he heard Dean purring, which made him smile. His second hand was not idle, sensually groping the sensible places between his legs and smiling again when he noticed how Dean automatically spread his legs even further.

More courageously he put his left hand around the hard erection of his fiancé and elicited a soft groan. Dean's legs were already trembling slightly because he was damn excited.

While he was still thinking about it, he felt curious fingers that came slowly but steadily closer to the little secret between his ass cheeks. He took another deep breath, tried to relax and closed his eyes.

Cas was fascinated by this beautiful ass. Perfectly smooth, firm and full, he stretched out to meet him. He generously wetted three of his fingers with soap and gently rubbed the foam around his entrance, while his second hand kept caressing to distract him from the following. Both men were highly focused, and it was so quiet you would have heard a pin drop.

Dean's eyes were still tightly pinched as he felt a fingertip cautiously penetrate, groping deeper and deeper.

"Is that okay?" The black-haired asked whereupon the other only nodded in response.

And while he was still nodding, he felt that finger slipping all the way in, letting out a mixture of moan and gasp.

That was very pleasant, because, intentionally or not, the fingertip had immediately found his prostate. Fortunately, Cas had such long fingers.

He bit his lip to stifle a giggle and was a little proud that he was still managing it. Carefully he slipped in and out and was surprised and relieved at the same time that it worked so smoothly in the truest sense of the word.

When he took a second finger, Dean twitched a little, but when he asked anxiously, the young policeman assured him that everything was alright.

By now, Dean's complexion had taken on a darker tone, and his breathing was getting heavier and deeper. Besides, he had to concentrate that he did not immediately succumb to his feelings and therefore he asked him to stop.

"Not that," he chuckled as he felt an emptiness he wanted to be refilled. "Dude, I'll cum if you continue to rub at the pace ... and now put your fingers back in where they were!"

With a roll of his eyes, the older man moved on and within a few minutes had stretched him so far that he saw no reason to wait any longer. When he felt the metal, thank goodness, Cas had warmed it, which knocked cautiously, he took a deep breath. Again and again, a little bit, because Cas realized that Dean had bitten his teeth together, stopped breathing and clenched his hands into fists.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly when it seemed that things were not moving, and Dean adjusted and tried to relax.

"Fuck!"

"Yes, that's fine."

Satisfied and with a big grin, he patted his fiance's ass and placed a kiss left and right, as it slipped in.

"Do not say it ..."

"But I'm a firefighter," Cas laughed.

"Do not say it," Dean repeated, emphasizing each syllable.

"Water march!" The black-haired called and turned on.

In no time Dean's bowel filled with lukewarm water, the feelings that were associated with it, made him moan again. Slowly, Cas pulled the shower head out and back in, imagining that it was his cock that kept submerging. It made him hot. It made him so unbelievably horny to see this, he could not wait to drag Dean into the bedroom, attack him and take what his body demanded.

And shortly he had the idea to do this right in the shower, but at the last moment, he could rely on his self-control. To see the trembling body in front of him, which was just as hard to hold on to, and the certainty that it was he who had it in his hands how this should end up for Dean made him growl happily.

"Cas!"

Frustrated, because his fiancé had teased him for so long and then pulled him back just before the jump, he made a decision, put the shower on cold, put the shower head to full power and let the cold drops rain on her heated body. He did not know that the black-haired man could jump around and scream like a little girl.

After both were back in the bedroom, Dean noticed the untouched coffee cups.

"The coffee is cold now."

"A saying goes that cold coffee makes you beautiful," Cas muttered without thinking and sipped his cup.

Without a twist of expression, Dean approached him, took the coffee cup out of his hand, and gently put it back on the bedside table, then grabbed Cas by the hip with both hands, and threw him onto the bed in a quick move.

"What exactly are you trying to tell me?" He grinned, tickling him until he begged for mercy.

Dean was not a monster and allowed him a brief breather, which he used to slide his fingers through the black hair that adorned Cas's chest.

He loved breast hair, even body hair — one of the reasons why he was attracted to men. Then he lay down next to him and just looked at him until the older man could not stand the tension and asked.

"I like what I see. I love you," the dark blonde replied, unconsciously licking his lips.

"And … what exactly?"

"I love your soft hair that I can dig into." Lovingly, he stroked his fingers through his hair and scratched his neck. "I love your eyes, so beautiful, so deep, so loving, and I have the feeling that you can look deep into my soul. I love your beard," he laughed and stroked his cheeks, after which Cas grinned, and Dean put his index finger into the dimple. "And this. I love your lips." He pursed his lips with his thumb, and Cas swallowed before he opened them easily. "I love your tongue, which sends electric shocks through my body every time. I love your deep, sexy voice that triggers something in me that you can not imagine. I love your strong arms, in which I feel safe and secure. I love your tender hands at whose touch I am in seventh heaven." He lovingly took his hand, kissed each finger and smiled at the goose bumps that formed on Cas's body.

"I love it when you talk, and it makes me laugh. I love it when you are silent, and we understand each other without words. I love it when you make me feel amazing, best and great. I love that you take me as I am. I love to know that I can tell you everything without you laughing at me. I love you Castiel."

Wow. Never had the young firefighter received such a declaration of love, and he had the feeling that Dean did not even have to think about it, as fast as those words spilled out of him. Or maybe he had memorized before ...

To be honest, he did not have the words, but that did not matter because when Dean noticed the wet eyes he blinked a few times with, he knew he had done everything right.

"Thanks, Dean. I love you," Cas finally answered, hugging him before expressing his affection with a passionate and deep kiss.

Expectantly, his eyes followed Dean, who had made himself comfortable on his thighs and stroked his chest again. The feeling of soft hair under his fingers made him hot, and yet he let his gaze wander, following every touch with his eyes.

Internalized the perfectly formed body that stretched out in pleasure and listened to the sensual sounds he could elicit his fiancé.

When the black-haired man's lips opened slightly, he could not resist and leaned over to taste him again. Dean thought Cas was a fantastic kisser and knew exactly how to do it to make the butterflies fly.

He loved this male scent, rubbing his nose along Cas's neck, down to his hair, taking a deep breath as the fingers of their hands joined together.

The satisfied hum, he accepted as an invitation to keep going, and he did not have to be asked twice to do so, he only briefly considered where to start.

After a quick look into the blue, bright eyes, he slowly lowered his head and ran his nose along his chest, while his half-open lips made a wet trail, occasionally kissing, licking, or leaving soft bites in his skin. At his armpit, he made a short stop which made Cas grinning, and Dean answered that with a short laugh before he slid down.

Cas's legs widened automatically as the other one slid down and in a hoarse voice he demanded more, but Dean took his time.

Too much time for his needs. His throbbing erection demanded attention, and one grunt after the other broke away from his lips as this wish remained unfulfilled. This, in turn, made Dean smile, and even though he was aware of the firm grip in his short hair that silently pleaded with him, he was in his world.

His eyes fluttered as his lips brushed Cas's thighs, eliciting a shuddering wheeze from the older man as his beard scraped over the sensitive skin. He smelled and breathed on the genitals, down to the bottom, deeply absorbed the sexual scent, which after a short time nebulized his senses.

"You smell so good, and you taste even better."

It was just whispered words, but Cas heard each one of them. A renewed blush settled over his cheeks, and since he did not know what to answer, he was silent.

But he sat up and turned the tables. In a skillful move, he brought his friend under him and played the same game with him. Only one track slower.

"Cas ...!"

That long, deep hum of his name telling him to pick up speed. Meanwhile, Cas had him so far that he almost begged for it.

With a wink, he stroked the outside of his thigh before his hand lay on the inside and pushed it upwards.

"Make this nice and wet for me."

The deep whisper, the teasing circling of Dean's lips, parted to stroke his friend's forefinger with his tongue, and the fact that he looked so deep into his eyes, finally made him beg. The growl became a groan and the groan a gasp when he felt a demanding tongue less than ten seconds later, stroking those places between his legs so gently that it almost hurt — those places that sent electric charges through his body and made his head swim.

Dean's cock began to twitch uncontrollably, and the twitching intensified as the black-haired man licked his lips first and then the velvety flesh, while simultaneously putting a finger in him. Not once had he blinked at that time, his half-open mouth dried up from the air he greedily sucked in, and as Cas pulled his finger out again and pushed it into his mouth, his other hand tight around Dean's cock, it happened.

There was something so wicked, erotic, and highly explosive about the sight that the young cop could not help but explode.

"Wow ..."

That was also a new experience for the firefighter. With a smile, he distributed the warm sperm, which was catapulted intermittently over his hand, before he wiped it on the towel and lay down next to his somewhat surprised friend.

Cas bent over him, ran his lips along the line of his chin before he snuggled closer and pressed their mouths together.

"Fuck!"

A few minutes passed without anyone saying anything. Dean, because he had to sort out the impressions of the previous experience, and Cas because he was mentally trying to calm his aching penis.

"Turn around!"

It was not a request, it was a command, and Dean rolled onto his stomach, smiling. The interplay of the muscles on this perfectly formed body, the flawless skin that was covered in some places with some fluffy, light hair, and the purring that he heard made Cas sigh happily. Only this sight alone put him in a drunken state.

With his eyes closed, the younger man enjoyed feeling those rough but incredibly tender hands brushing his sides and kneading and massaging his ass after all the rains of the arts, making them loose and ready. Within a short time, he was horny again.

Impatiently, he wiggled his ass, causing Cas to growl and he could not help but had to bite into the soft flesh, which immediately tensed. Kissing and teasing, he nevertheless took the time to prepare his friend, whose legs spread as if naturally more and more.

Another deep moan as he felt Cas penetrate slowly, carefully and very tenderly. Invitingly, he raised his pelvis, pushed towards him and lost himself again in the overstimulation.

Each time he was pushed forward, his cock rubbed against the mattress, and it did not take long for him to feel the warm wetness beneath him, while Cas squeezed tightly against him, whispering in his ear how much he loved him.

The orgasm exploded in his brain like a huge firework. He panted, gasping, his whole body burning, the blood rushing audibly through his veins.

Cas's teeth dug into the dark blond's shoulder as that body cramped and, surprisingly enough, dragged him into the abyss. With his arm around his chest and his head in the crook of his neck, the older man gave way to the intoxication of emotions and had the feeling of merging with Dean. Another shudder went through Cas and, happily smiling, he freed himself to finally be able to look his fiance back in his eyes.

Exhausted, Dean began to giggle, and Cas could not help but agree.


	9. Chapter 9

"Well look. Do you even remember how the job works?"

Kim gave him her hand with a smile as he walked in and pulled him into a warm hug.

"Forgetting is better than never having got it," he replied cheekily, taking a friendly punch in the side. He was happy to be back, without fear.

And another news was in the house. After his marriage proposal, Dean, of course, wanted to let deeds speak. Preferably yesterday than today.

But some planning had to be. For one, because you had to bring the fire department and the police under one hat. On the other hand, because it should be a secret, at least the chief bosses should not notice, because it could only come back to unnecessary trouble. The wedding was planned during the shift, at the guard 51.

And of course, it would be nice if it did not cost anything.

"I have an idea."

Gabriela and the new paramedic had just delivered their emergency at the Chicago Med, as her gaze turned to a nurse carrying a body. Barely fifteen minutes later, the two parked their ambulance back in the hall of the guard 51 and got out with a grin.

"Hey guys, can you give us a hand?" Gabriela called as she opened the two rear doors.

The crew was doing an exercise and slowly approaching.

"Sure, what do you have there?" Herrmann asked, and as he held the first bouquet in his hand, he raised his eyebrows questioning.

"Sincerely, the Shady Pines Mortuary, who just wanted to dispose of everything," the black-haired smiled and was already clearing up.

"That's great. You scrounging funeral institutes," Cas chuckled, getting in the car to help.

In no time at all, the lounge was decorated with floral arrangements, wreaths, and flowers and while Otis dismissed condolences, Mouch tried his hand as a florist.

"Guys, we have to go, I found chaplain Orlovsky," Matt called and ordered the crew of the fire engine.

Arrived at the goal, they found the older man in a stuffy bar, storytelling, among some other men. At first, he did not want to come along and invited the young firefighters.

"No alcohol on duty," Herrmann replied, and after some persuasions, the chaplain accepted the ride.

"The first step, sober up. You still have a wedding today. "

With that, Castiel put a big cup of black, hot coffee in front of his nose. But that did not help much, and while he was snoring on one of the chairs, the chaplain was treated with an infusion of saline, vitamins and headache pills.

"That heals the hangover in an hour," Dawson whispered, putting her index finger to her lips and the others following her on a soft footing.

"Do I want to know?" Boden asked when he saw the sleeping chaplain a few minutes later.

"Certainly not, Chief," Otis grinned.

While the entire crew in the big hall was busy setting up chairs, flowers, blankets ... Orlovsky came over with a cup of coffee in his hand and watched the hustle and bustle with a smile. Once again he was proud to be part of this wonderful guard and to consider these men and Dawson as his family.

"What do you think?" Cas asked with an excited smile.

"I think you should throw yourself in your suit, kid," he replied, placing one hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner.

But the alarm intervened and suddenly Orlovsky stood alone.

From the vehicle of the rescue squad, Severide called his sister and asked if the buffet was ready. When she said yes, he laughingly begged her to join the chaplain as soon as possible.

Somehow, Dean still could not believe he would be a married man in less than an hour.

"Maybe the other tie?" He sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror and was about to open it again.

"It's okay. You look good," Burgess laughed and tied the blue-striped tie back on.

Then she patted his suit and hugged him.

"I wish you both good luck. You deserve it, and you are such a beautiful couple."

"Do you have the rings?"

That was the first question he asked Jay when he had not even set foot in the door.

"What? Which rings?" He asked with a frown and searched all his pockets.

"Dude. Completely wrong time, "the dark blonde policeman snorted and pushed him slightly in the side.

"Winchester. We should go. You are a real bunch of nerves. Let's see that we get you under the hood," Sergeant Platt intervened.

Everyone involved hoped that there had been no action in the meantime.

The Intelligence unit had also stopped working for two or three hours, but an emergency plan was ready. Gabriela was able to replace Cas, and Sergeant Platt was happy when she was allowed to patrol again while Dean could see the wedding relaxed.

"So, but now under the shower, the time is pressing!" Herrmann called and shooed Cas through the lounge.

"Hey. Where is the groom?"

Cas's maid of honor came through the other door at the same time, and after being told that he was probably naked, Kim preferred to wait.

"I'm looking for socks. Mine has a hole!" Suddenly sounded a voice from the washroom.

"Do not you wear shoes?" Cruz screamed and everyone laughed.

"But!"

"Well, then no one sees the hole!" Herrmann snorted and shook his head; the black-haired man turned back in the washroom.

"Kim. Nice that you're finally here," Cas groaned as he tried in vain to close the cufflinks himself.

"If it calms you, Dean is just as nervous," she chuckled.

"Novak. Ten minutes!"

When Chief Boden glanced at the young firefighter, he nodded approvingly and Cas had to admit that he did not even look so bad in his dress uniform.

He pulled his suit tight one last time, his cap, took a deep breath and nodded to Kim.

"You look great," she smiled, kissing him on the cheek and squeezing it lightly so as not to wrinkle anything.

Music from the CD player was, of course, nothing in contrast to a singer, but you had to be content with little things.

Again the song sounded 'Thank you for loving me,' and Cas already had wet eyes when he saw Dean standing with the chaplain, his best man on his right and Kim was already there. Everyone had gotten up, and their eyes were on Cas. It was precisely 21 paces before he could hold his luck in his hands. Once again, he had to swallow his rising tears when he had to think briefly about his deceased parents because that would certainly like to see them both. But he had a new, huge family now. And he had Dean. His Dean.

Dean was aware that his fiancé was an attractive man, but when he approached him in his dark blue uniform, it nearly took his breath away. Damn, what luck did he have ... His heart was pounding wildly, full of impatience, full of suspense and love. Only a few steps, then they would beat in unison.

Their eyes could hardly separate until the chaplain addressed their name. In a somewhat shaky voice, both then spoke their marriage vows alternately in the silent room, their hands tightly entwined.

"Your strength is my hold.

Your hold is my power.

Your power is my motivation.

Your motivation is my confidence.

Your confidence is my hope.

Your hope is my hope.

Your heart is my heart.

Your life is my life.

Your love is my love.

Before God and our friends, I take you, to my husband. I want to love, respect and honor you. In good times and in bad times, in illness and health, until death separates us. Wear this ring as a symbol of our love and faithfulness. "

"Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak. With this I declare you to legally married spouses. Now you are allowed to kiss ", Orlovsky smirked, and with loud cheers and applause, the two fell into each other's arms. All the tension had dropped off them as they whispered how much they loved each other.


	10. Chapter 10

For half a year, the two lovebirds were married and still so in love that it was often too much for the others.

"You can not wait, can you?"

As a firefighter, it was logical that he could change his clothes quickly, but at this record time, Herrmann marveled. With a loud bang, the door of his locker closed and while he waved his colleague farewell, he was already fast pace on the way to his car.

Dean had taken the day off and promised his husband a delicious breakfast. For the third time in the last five minutes, he looked at the clock and then went to the window. Finally, the dark blue Ford was coming up the driveway, and Dean stormed out of the door. Galant, he opened the driver's door and handed Cas his hand.

"You look a bit green around your nose, are you alright?" Dean asked worriedly and looked him up and down.

"I feel a bit strange. Probably due to the weather, comes and goes. ," Cas murmured, and Dean put his arm around his waist, kissing his cheek and whispering. "I'll take good care of you."

"Wow, I'm about to burst," Cas moaned, holding his stomach. Satisfied and happy, he winked at his husband, tapping his thighs.

Dean did not need to be asked twice, sat on his lap, put his hands around his neck and kissed Cas on the lips, gently pulling on his lower lip, stroking his gleaming white teeth with his tongue before groping his way forward, as so many times before.

Impatiently, Cas's hands slid under Dean's sweater and made him tremble under his demanding fingers.

"I think we should go to the bedroom," the fireman whispered, sucking on Dean's earlobe, which nearly drove him out of his mind, so he nodded and took the black-haired man by the hand.

In a flash, the rest of the clothes flew and lay scattered on the floor.

The two naked men rolled slinky on the bed and could leave their hands and lips from the other.

"I see the fire hose is already ready for use," he giggled, which Cas only answered with a roll of his eyes.

He gently stroked through the soft pubic hair and slid down further. Every time he picked it up, he marveled at the softness.

With a satisfied hum, he slid that gorgeous cock over his face, rubbing his nose gently, drawing in that unique scent. Dean liked that male smell, the smell of pleasure. And this scent also flowed immediately between his legs and made itself felt by small fireworks. His eyes were still closed, his mind focused on his fingertips and feeling as he slowly stroked Cas's scrotum. He felt that roundness and fullness, soft, grooved skin and heat. It was like being in a trance, touching him like that, so sensual for Dean, but then he frowned and looked closer.

"Your balls are different in size," the young policeman remarked.

"Show me a man where both are the same," Cas grumbled lazily and stretched relaxed.

"Yes, but I have never noticed it so extreme, it looks like one of them is swollen. Does that hurt?"

"Stop poking your finger around, you're destroying the eroticism," Cas muttered, opening his eyes now and staring at his husband, shaking his head. "Maybe it just means that you should gain some speed. Otherwise, they will burst."

Finally, Dean put his whole hand over them and left it there.

Castiel enjoyed these gentle touches, although everything was much too slow for him, and when the dark blonde finally stopped, as if he had fallen asleep in between, he put his own hand over Dean's and started to move them both. When the younger looked up, he noticed the fire in Cas's eyes and how he bit his lower lip with desire.

A pleading whimper escaped Cas, his eyes silently encouraging the others to continue and Dean enjoyed this sense of power for a moment before deciding to comply. He pressed his lips to the other's hand, took another deep breath and kissed each finger before the young firefighter withdrew his hand so his husband could do his job.

With more and less pressure he worked on the warm, rosy flesh, teasing, kissing and stroking his tongue. He never stopped, nibbled and licked his way down to his inner thighs, tasting the light sweat that made his hormones explode once more and dragged them both into the vortex of passion.

"Oh god, Dean!"

With a slight smile, Dean stroked his man's black hair, placed a kiss on the top of his head and watched as those eyes grew heavier and heavier as Cas lay on his chest.

"Are you tired, honey?"

He sighed and nodded, his hand drawing circles on Dean's chest.

"Carry on," the dark blonde grinned, squeezing him even closer and pulled the blanket over him.

'Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61 ... '

It was a routine operation. Traffic accident, the car had overturned and laid on its side. Cas climbed up and helped open the door when he suddenly felt dizzy and fell from the car roof.

"Novak!"

"Do not worry, Chief. I'm fine," he muttered as he scrambled to his feet again.

With the words that nothing had happened, he broke away from Gabriela, who tried to examine him. Nevertheless, he was only allowed to watch the rest of the mission.

Back at the firehouse, his lieutenant pulled him aside.

"I was careless, I'm sorry. Won `t happen again."

"You are never careless, Cas. Does that happen more often?"

"No, Matt," the young firefighter replied a little annoyed. Although he was a bit queasy from time to time lately and he sometimes had a pull in his back or stomach, but he put that on the stress.

He also did not want to go sick; Cas loved his work.

A few days later he had another drop. Two boys had fallen into a sewer while playing. Castiel was roped off headfirst. At first, everything went smoothly, and he managed to bring both of them to safety. Suddenly he could not breathe and fainted in no time.

"We'll pull you back up, stay calm," Cruz shouted, but Mouch noticed that Castiel was quieter than calm and urged the others to hurry.

As soon as he lay on the ground, he came to himself again and looked confused in worried faces. It all happened so fast that he could barely remember it.

"I'm fine," he repeated again and again until Dawson let go of him. "Maybe the breathing mask was not tight, and I inhaled something."

"Otis, you check that on guard!"

"Yes, Chief."

Half an hour later, it was clear that the device was working.

"Let's examine that!" Matt said, after giving him a sermon that he had come and seen a lot of colleagues who also thought they had to disguise their complaints. Including him.

"Yeah, I'll do it if it does not get better," the black-haired response came with a grumble, but Casey waved and urged him to do it before the next shift.

For one, because he was worried about him, on the other side, because he was also worried about his colleagues when the young firefighter had another failure. In certain situations, this could be detrimental to everyone.

In the evening he stood naked in front of the bedroom mirror and admired with a sigh the bruise, which graced his lower back, the right buttock and also a piece of his right thigh when he had fallen from the truck. Although this painting gradually faded, it was still visible. And admittedly, it hurt.

Suddenly he felt a pull in the groin and put as naturally a hand on his testicles. It was Dean who dealt with his balls more often, so it was not until now that he realized what he meant a few days earlier.

They were unequal; a blind man saw that. He did not remember them like that. When he groped, he did not feel anything unusual, so he thought at least.

"Shall I accompany you tomorrow?"

Tenderly, Dean stroked Cas's knee as they both lay in the bathtub an hour later. With a shake of the head, the black-haired turned his head and kissed him briefly.

"Do not you have to. That's going to be pretty quick."

But Dean promised him a wonderful dinner, and that made Cas smile because he knew that when his husband cooked, it took hours and then the kitchen looked as if ten elephants had raged. But he did it with love, and that was the main thing.

Dean was not stupid. Although they had not known each other for so long, he realized that something was wrong. His husband was often tired, exhausted, drained.

Of course, he tried that as best he could to hide, but as I said, Dean was not stupid.

And when the two were in bed, he also knew that the black-haired did not sleep.

"Come here," Dean whispered, and without answering Cas slid close to him, sighing softly as an arm wrapped around him.

Before the next day, he had little jitters, because he knew that something was behind these symptoms. For the young firefighter, this was not easy, because he knew doctors only from a distance and he was grateful for that. Rarely that he had the flu and just as a small child he had to lie down under the scalpel once, as the tonsils were removed.

And then the incident when he was shot. As he thought about it, he fell into a restless sleep.

Earlier than expected, that morning was there, and after a thorough shower, Dean was already at work, he sat in the car and drove to the Chicago Med. Some of the staff were not strangers to him, he knew them from work, from Molly's, or his stay at the hospital.

"Good morning Cas."

The young doctor Will Halstead, the brother of his husband's colleague, came into the lounge with a smile, tearing him out of his mind as he read an article about ... No idea, he could not focus on it anyway.

"What can I do for you?"

With a wave of his hand, he let Cas enter the treatment room, pointed to a chair, and closed the door behind him before sitting down at the desk.

"No idea, tell me that everything is fine."

"We will clarify that. How's your shoulder?"

Everything had healed perfectly, only a scar reminded of his terrible event. Cas had some guardian angels watching over him.

After Will measured his blood pressure, which was a bit too low, he took blood from him.

Everywhere he was carefully inspected. Ears, mouth, eyes ...

"You were not lying when you talked about a thorough check-up," Cas grumbled behind the curtain and put his shirt back on, but his pants off.

Granted, the timid firefighter was a little uncomfortable with this situation. It was no use ... he had to go through it.

Will rolled his stool closer, and his eyes remained fixed on Cas' testicle. After putting on a glove, he fiddled there for some time.

"The last man who groped my balls, I got married, so you could at least invite me to a beer," the black-haired man mumbled, pointing his eyes at the ceiling with some embarrassment.

"You still have your sense of humor," Will grinned before his eyes became serious because what he saw was not normal. He had a guess, but to confirm that, further examination was necessary and he did not listen when Cas assured him that he was in no pain.

"You will be back the day after tomorrow. I will get you an appointment in urology with a colleague. Then your test results are there. Before you leave, please pee in the cup. "

Now the fireman knew again why he did not like doctors. Why the hell could not it just be a bump on the arm instead of ... down there?

At the next shift, he had to report to his Lieutenant and Chief Boden.

"Alright, tomorrow I'll get the test results."

Although the two were not satisfied and usually the Chief would have to release the young firefighter, but the young man assured that he was fully fit for use.

"Keep an eye on him," Boden said to Matt as Cas left.

That was what made him happy, and he grumbled neither when he had to clean the fire truck nor when they touched him like a raw egg.

After the shift, he wanted to go home to bed, but Dean called to meet him for lunch.

So he sat in front of the TV for another two hours and tried not to fall asleep before making his way to the small eatery on the corner of Guard 21.

"Sorry, but I had to bring her," he chuckled, pointing to Kim.

"Do not pay any attention to me and pray that no one needs the police, you two lovebirds," she replied rolling eyes and got up to serve at the lavish buffet.

"How are you?"

Dean took Cas's hands in his and looked at him scrutinizingly.

"I'd feel better if everyone did not keep asking me how I'm doing," he grumbled.

"I'm just worried."

"I know. Do not you need," the black-haired waved off and also got something to eat.

"Leave him alone, he looks stressed enough," Kim said reproachfully, sitting down again and bit heartily into her burger.

"You, as his maid of honor, should keep to me," Dean grumbled, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek before his husband sat down again.

"Honey, you have something there."

During the meal, he ran his thumb slowly over Cas's lips and whispered in his ear that he was horny and wanted to disappear with him.

"Tony has a freight elevator back there," he continued, handing out little kisses around his neck, and could not be dissuaded when his husband pushed him away quickly.

After all, Dean was on duty, and a misstep could bring unpleasant difficulties.

"Guys, I eat!"

"Hey, Tony ..."

Dean called his friend and shop owner and pointed to Cas.

"A firefighter. You said you had difficulties with your freight elevator. He might take a quick look, right?" He said, winking more than once.

"Go on, but do not mess!" The older man grinned, reached into his pants pocket and took out the key.

"Dean!"

"Do not worry, colleague, my radio is on standby," he said, got up quickly and pulled his husband by the hand.

Castiel was taken by surprise, and frankly, he did not feel like it at all, and that's exactly what made itself felt.

"What's going on?", Dean asked a little disappointed, but Cas could only shrug his shoulders in silence.

He did not know it himself and felt tears burning in his eyes. Since when was he such a sensitive person? Castiel had back pain and just wanted to sleep, but he also did not want to see Dean so sad. But before anything could happen, an emergency, which came in between released the two from the tense situation.

"See you later, at home."


	11. Chapter 11

"You can go in now, Mr. Novak," the nursing assistant smiled and pointed to the door.

The urologist, an older man with a slight belly and graying hair, gestured for him to sit down, but his sympathetic and friendly nature did not soothe Cas's heartbeat.

After taking a seat on the leatherette-covered chair and now knowing how women felt at the gynecologist and being so thoroughly examined by this doctor that he probably knew the number of pubic hairs, Cas exhaled with a shuddering breath he had unconsciously stopped. After an ultrasound, and, damn, that was strange and cold, he let go of him and took off his gloves again.

The doctor asked Cas to get dressed again and then come back to the consulting room. As he looked into his computer with a serious face for a long time, the fireman began to feel more and more anxious. The heavy moaning and the tone in the doctor’s voice did not sound like 'all right', but he still thought that this small bump on his balls could not be so bad and would undoubtedly be treated with a few tablets.

"Mister Novak ... Your results are in front of me, and there is no doubt after the ultrasound examination. You have a malignant tumor in your left testicle. "

Meanwhile, Cas had also sat down and judging by the face of the doctor; he also knew in advance that something was wrong.

These words hit him like a punch in the stomach. These words, unambiguous, irrevocable and yet they penetrated very slowly into Cas's consciousness. He could hardly understand what the doctor had said, barely comprehending what those words meant.

Well, it was just one word. A small word that had already destroyed the lives of many people. Cancer. The fireman could not believe that life had condemned him.

After this shock, he just stared at him motionless, only the slight trembling that had gripped his body suggested that he was conscious. Yes, he sometimes had abdominal and back pain, and now and then a groin tuck. He was a little dizzy from time to time. But that ...

"What?" He whispered.

Cas cried no tears, was paralyzed. Slowly he began to realize and with the realization came the fear. The doctor asked him to come over in the next few days to go through the following steps, because first, he wanted to let the young firefighter, who stared silently out of the window, processing this shock.

All he said was that the chances of recovery were 95%, but that did not reassure Cas. With his results, he sat in his car, could not think straight. That could not be possible. That had to be a mistake!

He was fine. Yes, he had lost some weight, but he did not see that as a disadvantage. Should he call Dean? Castiel had been holding the phone in his hand for a few minutes, but he hesitated. But there were hours left until he was finished and the black-haired needed him now.

The two patrolmen had just come back from a mission and Dean, shaking his head, threw the report on the counter.

"Such an idiot!"

"He certainly did not want to hurt Gabby, the guy just could not handle the outside world and wanted to go back to jail."

"What was going on?" The curious Trudy wanted to know, and Kim clarified to Sergeant Platt.

"And he kept yelling, 'armed and dangerous.' Say I'm armed and dangerous. "

When his cell phone rang, he took a step, because it did not all have to be noticed when he phoned his sweetheart.

"Cas, Honey, what's going on?" He asked for the second time, as there was no sound at the other end of the line.

Only three words before his husband hung up.

"I have cancer."

Completely perplexed, Dean stared at the display, then at the two ladies who looked at him questioningly.

"I ... Sarge, something happened. I have to go home."

Sergeant Platt shrugged and nodded, secretly hoping that it would not be another catastrophe like last time.

"Burgess, you accompany him!"

Although he would have preferred it differently, the two were a team.

"Not yet," was all he said and Kim had to settle for it.

As he raced to his house at full speed, he hoped he either misunderstood this or that his husband had fooled him. Because honestly, that could not be!

"Cas. Cas!"

Dean tore the door open and let it fall behind him with a loud bang.

Everywhere he looked, but there was no trace of his husband.

Damn bastard, where was he? On the way to the car, he thought through the places where the fireman could be. When he arrived at the bridge at high speed, he barely trusted his eyes. He remained seated for a moment. Cas looked so lost, and for a moment Dean feared that he might do something stupid, but he ignored the chill that spilled over his spine and got out in no time. Kim stayed in the car.

"Damn, I was looking for you everywhere!"

"I'm sorry," it came timidly, and as Cas turned and sank in the arms that caught him safely, he sobbed and could hardly calm down anymore.

"What should I do now, Dean?!"

"Drive away your cart. You'll stop all traffic!" a furious driver yelled.

"I'm a cop, and I can park where I want!" Dean shouted back, ignoring the finger, which was then shown to him.

Since it was just under zero degrees, Dean put his jacket first and then his arm around him and drove home with Cas.

He did not say a word for the entire ride, only occasionally a soft sob could be heard from him. With a nod of understanding, Burgess went alone to the guard again.

All the black-haired knew about cancer was that there was a good chance that he would give up the spoon soon.

"Well, and now tell me again exactly what the doctor said."

After a sip of tea and the proximity of his husband, the black-haired had calmed down so much that he could talk without stuttering. Dean insisted on being at the next appointment.

Cas was grateful and glad to have him. Dean encouraged him, promising him that it would work together and that he believed in him very firmly.

Even so, Castiel was in a mess of emotions. One second he thought that everything would be all right again, but the next one he was devastated again and broke into another crying fit that made him tremble.

Dean's heart broke when he saw his husband so desperate, and he felt so helpless, but he could do nothing but support him and be with him.

The next shift was hard for Cas, but he wanted to work, at least not to think about his life for a few hours. Inwardly, he fought with himself, whether he should say it at all, but that was Cas missing was the poker face. He was a person where you could read the emotions on his face.

But since he did not want to start crying again, Cas only told them that he would probably have to take the next few shifts off because he would not feel great health and he could not say more about it. That was accepted.

Since neither of them could stand the uncertainty, the appointment was already held the next day. The two men sat in the waiting area of the oncology and Dean felt the fear that his husband had. Cas lowered his eyes; he could not bear it. Everywhere people were drawn by this disease. People with bald heads, people who were very thin. People who looked like they had a long ordeal. Should he be one of them soon? In what nightmare was he just caught here?

He wanted nothing more than that anyone would wake him up. But he did not dream. It was the bitter reality. Cas felt that time was at a standstill and his body shook more, with every passing minute. Suddenly the nurse called his name, but the young firefighter sat quietly. He was paralyzed and just wanted to get away ... far away.

Dean squeezed his hand and mumbled that they had to go now. When he got up, he felt he was floating. Everything was so surreal.

Afterward, when they both sat in the car, Castiel felt suddenly bad, weak and sick. He tried to pull himself together, even if it was only for the reason that he did not want to worry Dean. Probably it was this hand that made light circles on his kneecap, maybe the soothing words and gentle voice he heard from his husband, but suddenly the switch in his head turned. His fear was replaced by a defiant, 'Ok, it's just that way, you have to go through'. Smiling, he looked at Dean, squeezing his hand as he turned the music louder with the other on the radio.

After he was lovingly brought to bed by his husband, the nurse came to give him a pubic shave. Mumbling, Dean left the room because that's what he wanted to see.

He then escorted him to the door of the operating room, holding his hand and reluctantly releasing it as his husband was pushed through the door into the sterile room. Then Dean sat down in the waiting room, made in between a visit to the canteen.

Cas got nothing of it at all, the last words he heard were from the anesthetist, who asked him to count backward from 10 ...

To sit and to wait was a torture for the lively policeman and so he went through half the hospital.

"Patient, male. Suspicion of ..."

Gabriela kept the word in her throat when she saw Dean while she and her colleague walked quickly with the gurney through the door of the emergency room. After asking her colleague to continue, she frowned at him and asked what he was doing in the hospital. Now the cat was out of the bag, and Dean could not hide it from the curious Latina, who of course gave him a sermon.

"Why did not he tell us, we need to go to the hospital!" Herrmann shouted in annoyance after everyone at Ward 51 heard about what Gabby had experienced at the hospital.

"Do not shoot the messenger! Cas did not want us to know. Guys, I promised Dean to give them time. So we'll do just that, it's bad enough for him."

"Can I understand well, after all, he has just been emasculated," Joe mumbled, reaching protectively between his own legs.

"Hey, there he is again," Dean whispered, stroking Cas's hair as he slowly opened his tired eyes.

Still dazed by the operation and the painkillers, he was glad he could not see himself. Because he probably had the stupidest grin of all time on his face.

In the late afternoon, the doctor came, announced that everything had gone well and he was released. To be honest, Cas was not so happy at the thought of it, not that his personal nurse did not take good care of him, but, all was hurting, and he would have felt more comfortable in the hospital.

The young policeman had also taken a vacation and promised that he would not let his husband out of sight for a second.

The following ten days the fireman was unfit for service, had to go to the hospital again and again to change bandages, which pinched like a tight underpants, CT scan, and let go of all the medical stuff and his arm looked like that of a drug addict because he had repeatedly taken blood to check the tumor markers.

Each time, Dean was at his side, and Castiel felt safe, secure, and happy by how touching his husband cared for him, making every wish come true.

With each passing day, the pain became more bearable, but he was afraid of the day he first saw himself. Besides, there was the fear that it would not be as it was. An important component was missing. Although he did not have to worry about an unfulfilled desire to have a baby,... How would it be if both had sex again?

After these ten days, he felt fit enough to return to his dream job and thought he had survived everything. Although the doctor had explained to him the possible consequences, he did not want to remember or better said, he repressed it.

Cas lived each day consciously; everything was back in order.

But a few days later, he was painfully aware that this was not the case. In one of the many follow-up examinations, Will Halstead told him that without chemotherapy or possible other surgeries usually went nothing because there was the suspicion that lymph nodes had formed in the abdomen.

The young firefighter was devastated. No, no way he wanted chemo. He had already heard too much about this topic and unfortunately also saw it, he did not want to go through it.

The alternative promised but just as little. The following surgery should be a bit more complicated and extensive, so Cas was told that he had to spend up to five days in the intensive care unit, and possibly also nerves could be injured, which make the connection between the head and penis. He looked pleadingly at Dean as if silently asking him for a decision.

"Honey, no matter how you choose, you know that I support you," he said, hugging him. As hard as he could, the black-haired had to bite his lips so as not to burst into tears.

So, for one, there was the fact that after the procedure, there was a possibility that he no longer felt sexual, and then, on the other side, a very long, painful process, the outcome of which was uncertain. That would change him entirely and possibly cost his job.

"I have to think about it," he murmured, shaking his head, taking his husband by the hand and leaving the doctor's room.

"Do not let this take you too long," he heard Will's voice.


	12. Chapter 12

For Dean, the last two weeks have not been easy either. No, it was not that he did not get sex ...

Rather, it was the fact that his husband had retreated even further. Dean felt that Cas thought he was worthless now. Actually, he did not want to do anything behind his husband's back, but he saw no other way out. So Dean went outside the house under the pretext of having to do something at the police station. That he went to the guard was right, but the other.

"Hey Dean," Otis shouted, hugging him briefly with a smile and a pat on the back.

"Hey, guys."

"How are you? And more important, how is Cas? I tried to reach him yesterday, but he pushed me away," Matt said, sitting down at the table with the others.

"Me too," Gabriela sighed as she sipped her coffee cup.

Dean just nodded with a helpless shrug. After telling them that he did not know what else to do, Herrmann came up with an idea. Without a word, he grabbed his cell phone, and after a few words no one knew who he was talking to, but all learned half an hour later.

"Nice to see you," the friendly, older man grinned and shook his hand, but Dean immediately pulled him into a hug and sighed with relief.

Orlovsky was a chaplain at the Chicago Fire Department, where he always stood by the firefighters with words and deeds, showing them a way out of their misery in the hardest times. He had also married them and over time had become a significant person to Dean.

"He's going to hate me, but yes," the policeman finally said as the other suggested he come along to talk to Cas.

Dean was right with his guess. The young firefighter was anything but enthusiastic. It was a long conversation, Orlovsky was patient. Unlike Dean, because in his opinion nothing came out of the conversation.

"I'm always there for you Castiel. That's us all. "

In the evening, Castiel was sitting in the bath, still thinking. He had already thought so much that his head ached. No matter how he sliced it, that was just a huge shit. Absently, he held his testicles and felt with his thumb and forefinger. Right, everything was as it should be, left he felt only the flabby skin between his fingers.

"Cas? May I come in?"

"No!" The firefighter hissed.

But Dean did not care, and slowly he opened the bathroom door. Immediately the other pulled his legs protectively against his body and clutched his lower legs. Since the surgery, his husband had not been able to see him, let alone touch him there. Cas had too much fear of the reaction.

"Okay, listen," he began, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub and taking a deep breath, searching for words. He gently stroked the back of his husband, whose head was buried between his arms.

"I think it's time for you to come out of your shell. I love you. With one or two balls," he laughed, but Cas did not feel like laughing.

"I do not want chemo," he sobbed, stammering brokenly. "I do not want to vomit all the time and ... and not be me anymore. I want everything to go back to what it was ..."

"I know," Dean whispered as he passed light kisses on his shoulders. "Look at me, please. Do not exclude me. I'm here, I'm with you, and because it's the way it is, we'll go through it together. I love you and have the strength for both of us. If you do this surgery, then I know that it will turn out well. From where? God, Cas. We've been through so much, and our guardian angels are watching over us."

It took a moment, but then Cas raised his head sighing, looking into his husband's warm, kindly eyes, and knew right then that he had to stop bathing in self-pity. He was right. It was the way it was, and nobody could change that, you could only make the best of it.

After some hesitation and with tears in his blue eyes, he took Dean's hand and dipped it in the water. Both hearts raced, the eye contact was not interrupted, and neither of them blinked. While Cas held his breath as Dean's fingers probed his testicles, the cop also got wet eyes, but a grateful smile crept onto his face as his lips sought Cas's.

"You are beautiful, my angel. I love you. And this ... you're no less a man that makes no difference, "Dean whispered, eliciting a relieved sigh from the other.

"Not ..."

He gripped Dean's wrist with his hand and pushed it a little higher, whereupon experienced fingers immediately wrapped themselves around the soft flesh, which hardened within a few moments.

"Do not stop, please," the black-haired man whispered, looking pleadingly into the green eyes of his counterpart. He wanted to know. He had to know.

Dean was happy and kissed him again and again and again. Cas could no longer control his emotions and with a mixture of sobs and groans, he experienced an orgasm he had missed for so long, while the tears of relief ran from his sea blue eyes over his face like a waterfall. 

"Dean ..."

Both clung tightly until the last vibrations had left his body.

"Alright. Everything will be alright."

That was sex for Dean as well. Seeing his husband so relieved and relaxed for days was like sex for his soul.

As the gut is removed from the abdominal area during surgery to reach the lymph nodes on the back, it had to be empty. That meant in his case that Cas had to drink about 6 liters of a slightly viscous beverage. As a result, he often had to go to the bathroom, but not to pee!

In between, he had talks with the operating doctor and the anesthesiologist, who was responsible for the anesthesia. And Dean was always by his side. Cas was infinitely grateful for this support. The doctors asked him if he was not nervous because of the big surgery. Before the fireman could answer, Dean took over.

"He does not have to do anything. If there should be one nervous, then maybe the doctor."

Everything went really fast on the day of the surgery. After the shower he has shaved again, Dean made lewd remarks about his surgical gown and said that he could ask if he could keep it, then he got a sedative and was pushed into the operating room. From then on, it was getting dark, and the next thing he could remember was that he was once again in one of the recovery rooms, and was pushed from there to the intensive care unit.

Fainted by the anesthetic or painkiller, he felt very well in the circumstances and even sent a few text messages to his friends.

When Cas realized that he had to go to the bathroom, he reported to the nurse, who then only said that he should just let it run because the catheter would fix that. That, the black-haired had to admit, he found very useful.

"The hose disturbs kissing," Dean murmured and Cas warned him not to make him laugh, because of that hurt. There were enough hoses in and on his body.

Besides his penis, he also had one in his nose, such a thing for the oxygen, one in the back, which went directly to the spinal cord and probably provided his body with some painkillers. One on the neck, possibly for the same purpose and one in his scar on the abdomen, to remove the wound fluid. Besides, the needle in the back of his hand for various infusions, some pads on his upper body, which were connected to monitors, and a kind of clothespin attached to his finger.

But the hose through the nose into the throat and the devil knows where else, made swallowing difficult and Cas had a sore throat.

Dean sent him the best wishes from the entire police and fire brigade team, and even if they were not allowed in intensive care, he should know that everyone thought of him. At that moment, the sensitive firefighter felt so loved that he had tears in his eyes.

The first day was not bad. On the second day, the painkillers were dosed lower, and every movement and especially the coughing Castiel tried as well to suppress as it led to the fact that his abdominal wall moved a lot, which resulted in considerable pain.

Besides, he must have looked pretty bad, because Dean was horrified when he came to his room. Immediately he picked up a nurse and put a lot of pressure because he could not see it when his husband was suffering.

Immediately he got a syringe in the access to his neck, which made him feel better again.

On the third day, thank goodness, this tube was removed from his throat and nose and then explained that the cut-out lymph nodes were sent to the pathologist who did a histological examination, which meant that the lymph nodes were cut into thin slices and looking for cancer cells.

Cas did not care how that was done, it was important if something was found or not, but that still took a while.

Already on the fourth day, and Dean was incredibly happy about it, his husband was transferred to the regular infirmary, and he was also a little bit proud that Cas put some pressure on himself and showed his will to fight.

Supported by his IV pole, his policeman on one side, and his Chief and Otis on the other, he walked through the corridors, still a bit weak. The visitors came and went, and since Christmas was coming in a few weeks, Casey and Severide brought him an Advent calendar filled with beer.

He did not feel like drinking beer, but Cas was still happy about it as a little kid. But when the senior doctor told him that biopsy showed no abnormalities, Dean came over with a bottle of champagne and Cas approved a cup.

The second highlight of the day, in the truest sense of the word, was when Will came with a cup and asked for a semen sample. On the one hand, because he had to examine that, on the other to see if his sperm came out where it should, or if it ran back into the bladder, which would not be great.

Cas lost no time and locked himself in the toilet. But it did not work because he always had the fear that something was wrong. After 5 minutes he was frustrated, after 10 minutes rubbing he was annoyed, after 15 minutes the tears ran, and he was desperate. After he had washed his face, he unlocked and just wanted to get back to bed to pull the blanket over his head.

"Dean ...", he mumbled halfway and stopped abruptly because he had not expected his husband so early.

"Honey, what's going on?"

Alarmed, the dark blonde jumped up and hugged his husband, only then saw the unmistakable cup and whispered wickedly and with a wink, whether he would need a hand. Castiel just shrugged his shoulders silently, but that was enough for Dean, and he pulled him back into the bathroom, locked the door and turned around with a grin.

Somewhat stormy but very careful, he pushed the young firefighter against the wall and covered his face with kisses and delicate bites. Within seconds, a heat spread in Cas and this tingling sensation in his body hurt in his stomach on the one hand, but on the other, it was one of the most awesome feelings he did not want to end.

"It's sexy," Dean whispered as he gently pulled on his husband's lower lip and loosened the loop in Cas's neck with his fingers because he did not have time to change. "But you like me so much better."

The piece of cloth sailed to the ground, exposing him totally to the bandage that stuck to his stomach with the last remaining hose.

A light red glow formed on the face of the shy man, shining around the bet with his eyes. Slightly weak on his legs, they began to tremble immediately, whereupon Dean told him to sit on the toilet lid. Although there was nothing better for Cas than to feel his husband's tongue on his own, he had not the slightest offense when the younger man knelt on the floor, spread his legs and licked and sucked where he so badly wanted it

Since he did not want to be idle, his hands caught in the short hair sometimes pulled slightly and then a little stronger. Every time Dean had to smile. The short stubble of that intimate hair tickled and scratched his nose and face, and Dean could not wait for them to regrow. When he finally put his full lips over the hard cock and took it slowly but steadily into his mouth, Cas escaped a shaky breath, fetched by a deep moan.

For a moment he closed his eyes and lost himself in that moment, but not too long, because he wanted to see it. Wanted to see Dean's head bobbing up and down, wanting to see into the glowing emerald eyes that fixed his, wanting to see his husband enjoying it as much as he did.

Way too soon it was over, and Dean let go with a loud smack and held the cup to that small opening to catch the hot splashes. Still, Cas had clenched his hands firmly into the strong shoulders of his husband, twitching and gasping until the last drop had reached his goal.

"See, everything is fine," the dark blonde smirked satisfied, helping Cas on his feet and in his gown and escorting him to the bed. He then went out to take the result to one of the nurses and watched as quickly as possible to return to his great love.

Everyone was in a good mood. Everything seemed to be fine ...


	13. Chapter 13

It was the early afternoon of the next day, and Cas was alone. Only the TV was on, any telenovela he could hardly follow, and it was not so exciting that he could explain his sudden shortness of breath. Out of nowhere he suddenly felt terrible, so bad that he grabbed the emesis basin in panic and vomited.

Again and again, until he just choked dry, because his stomach was empty. He felt a little better but was incredibly tired. He pushed it that his body was still too weak and just needed rest.

So he switched off the TV, curled up as best he could without pain and pulled the blanket over his head because it was pretty cold. He could not sleep, was always startled, and finally rang the nurse for another sheet.

"You have some fever," the little older lady noticed as Cas brought out the thermometer under his armpit and handed it to her. "I'll give you a suppository."

"You can bring me a suppository," the black-haired mumbled because so far he was still in his right mind. It was enough when he did not get around in the intensive care unit and had to shit once in the bedpan. In embarrassment, he would have liked to vanish off in the face of the earth.

Still, the fever dropped only slightly during the next two hours, but Cas played it down, even as Chief Boden and Herrmann came to visit. He had to admit that he had to think for a moment so that he could remember the name of his colleague. It was probably due to the fever. Then he vomited again.

_'Damn it. I have nothing in me!'_

When Dean came after his shift, the horror was literally in his face. Without a word he ran to the nurse and insisted on having Will call out, who came a few minutes later. He frowned at Cas's bed and checked his pulse on his weak wrist. Way too fast. Immediately afterward, he put on a cuff to measure his blood pressure. Much too low.

"You are glowing. We have to make sure that we get the fever under control."

"I've always had calf wrap as a child," Dean said rather casually, but Will found that in addition to the drugs a great idea.

As fast as he could, Halstead went out and prepared everything. Then he came with a bowl of cold water and finished the wraps.

As soon as he had wrapped these around his legs, he covered him again with the blanket. Damn, that was cold. Cas gasped.

The three men exchanged concerned looks. Will had a guess, which unfortunately confirmed.

"Pull up your gown," he said, rolling his eyes as Cas told him he was naked because of the lack of power to put on his clothes.

"I'm your doctor, I'm not looking at anything, and I've seen it before ..."

Inside, he had to grin a little as Cas seemed invulnerable to the outside, yet as fragile and shy as a child.

On his belly was a red line, in the length of almost 2 inches. Although pale, but unmistakable. An indication of inflammation of the lymphatics.

"Immediately on the ICU. Suspected sepsis ..."

In no time there were two nurses in the room grabbing the bedside.

"W-what?"

That went both Cas and Dean a little too fast. Surprised, the younger man sprang up, grabbed Cas's hand, who was staring at him desperately and with big blue eyes, and ran beside the sick bed as they brought his husband back to where it all began.

"Dean, I have to talk to you."

Will put a hand on his shoulder and held him back, but Dean wanted to be only with his husband.

"Do not worry, he's getting sedatives, remedies for the infection and to strengthen the circulation and organ functions, as well as many fluid infusions, he's going to sleep now."

"You are acting as if it were life and death!"

"..."

"Want?!"

"Come, sit down," he said with a sigh and pointed to the chairs in the lounge.

Moments later, his head almost burst as Halstead told him about infectious agents in the blood, toxins in the body, blood clots, oxygen deficiency of organs, and tissue damage.

"Stop the gobbledygook and tell me what that means to my husband? Does he have to undergo surgery again?!"

"That sounds bad, but we discovered it early enough. The chance is not bad that we get that under control. We will monitor him and can only wait and hope that the meds take effect. Cas is a fighter. It will be alright."

After encouraging Dean, he felt a little better, but his concern for his husband nearly made him go up the wall.

Whether it was destiny or luck, he did not know, but since Dean could not do anything at the moment anyway, he drove to the police station to take another vacation.

Even unpaid, he did not care, he said to Platt, and at that moment the chief boss came around the corner. He immediately recognized the young policeman again and owed him a favor, since Dean had helped him in a susceptible matter years ago. Without hesitation, this vacation was granted to him until his husband was well again. Tears of despair but also deep gratitude floated in his eyes, and with the support and many crossed fingers of his colleagues, he made his way to the next house.

The chaplain was there too, and everyone gave him much courage and hope.

Dean became aware that it was serious business when he sat down at his computer and did his research. Half an hour later, he had so much information in his head that he grabbed a bottle of whiskey because he was afraid of losing his mind.

An exaggerated defense reaction of the body usually led to the fact that a blood poisoning can run out of control because the immune system triggers a violent inflammation in the whole body, which gradually detects the vital organs. Thus, this defense would turn into the opposite, not only against the invaded gems but against the own body itself. Small blood vessels would be damaged and get leaks. Large amounts of fluid entered the tissues, causing blood clots to get out of control and more and more vessels in the body becoming clogged. The consequence of this was hypoxia, which massively impaired the function of the organs and against which the heart tries to pump with decreasing force until the circulation collapsed, the organs failed, and death occurred.

At some point, Dean fell into a restless sleep. He knew that no one had done anything wrong and he also knew that everything humanly possible was being attempted to change that condition. Nevertheless, Dean cursed the whole world. But he had vowed to be strong for both.

It was not even eight o'clock the next day when Dean returned to the hospital. There he told the staff because they did not want to put an extra bed in the sickroom, that he would sleep at the door if necessary. And Will knew that he was serious too because he had known him for a long time.

"Nevertheless, I have to advise you as Cas' doctor, that you have to treat him from time to time a little rest. Back off!"

A small smile crossed the policeman's pale face, and as quietly as possible he opened the door and closed it again. What he saw there gave his little heart multiple painful stings.

He had the feeling that those tubes in Cas had doubled and when he slowly let his eyes wander, it was not just the annoying sound of many monitors, but also the smell of industrial disinfectant that made the small room uncomfortable.

Seeing his husband like that was almost more than he could stand. Slowly he went to his bed, then stopped and looked at him as he exhaled deeply and painfully.

Without the black hair, which gave a sharp contrast, Cas would hardly have been seen under the white sheets. He was so pale. His eyes were closed, his breathing was regular. Thank God. Cas looked so fragile, so vulnerable and somehow ... afraid.

Quietly he pushed a chair up and sat down. Carefully, he took his hand and made light circles on the back of his hand with his thumb. That gesture always calmed him, Dean knew.

Only then did he notice the clip on his index finger measuring the oxygen saturation. A glance at the monitor and he wondered if those values were good or bad.

That was when Cas woke up. The view was a bit cloudy, and he was too weak to open his eyes completely and talk, that did not work. But a very slight, barely noticeable movement of his right hand. Dean immediately jumped and looked at his husband.

"Hey. Here I am. Thoroughly disinfected and germ-free," Dean smirked.

For Cas, it was not clear at first who was sitting at his bed, and after a few moments, he closed his eyes exhausted with a sigh. He felt as if he had just run out of a marathon, but he was just lazily lying in bed. But it was nice to know that Dean was there, holding his hand and he did not have to say anything; it was enough to feel that presence.

"What?"

Dean was shocked when a hand touched his shoulder, and he realized he had fallen asleep.

"Go home. You can not do anything for Castiel."

"Yes, I can be with him," he mumbled, looking at his sleeping husband.

"Go. We will contact you if there are changes!"

Since he intended to come more often, Dean agreed, because he did not want to put the nursing staff's patience to the test.

The second day was the same except that Dean felt his husband was getting worse. Breathing was more laborious for him; his eyes opened only once.

"If his condition does not improve, we'll intubate him to help him breathe and maybe consider the alternative of an artificial coma," Will said as he changed the infusion.

Dean nodded with a heavy heart because all he wanted was that Cas did not have to suffer.

"Besides, his kidneys worried me ..."

The young policeman wondered if things could get any worse.

Dean was in the shower when the phone rang. Without drying himself, he ran to his cell phone.

"Halstead. What's going on? "He asked in a panic.

"Unfortunately, it was faster than expected. We had to put Castiel in an artificial coma," was the brief answer, whereupon Dean sighed softly.

"I just wanted to tell you. You can not do anything. Try to sleep a little bit. Tomorrow we'll discuss the details."

_'Sleep ...'_

Dean tried, but it was impossible, and after two hours of restless wrangling and the futility of reaching out to the other side, only to find painfully missing an essential part of his life, he decided to start his computer again.

A sudden knock on the door tore him out of his thoughts. Wondering himself, who was outside shortly before midnight, he slipped into his pants and opened.

Jay, Will's brother, and his colleague at the police, and his best man stood shivering with his hands buried in his jacket pockets on the steps.

"I saw the light, and I thought you were not sleeping. I have just come from the shift and wanted to see how you are."

"Nice to have you there," Dean smiled, stepping aside so he could warm himself up.

"Coma?!" the young man asked, frowning as he sat at the table, glancing at the open laptop.

Dean told him everything and tried even more so that his voice would not tremble.

"Will is the best; there's no doubt about that. Cas is in good hands."

"I know," the dark blonde replied with a nod and a small smile.

To get him out of the gloomy thoughts, Jay told him about the work and managed to make him laugh a couple of times.

"We're thinking of you," he said goodbye, leaving Dean alone.

Now he was overcome by tiredness and, knowing that he would need his strength in the following days, decided to sleep a bit.


	14. Chapter 14

He looked at Cas through the small window of the ICU and barely reacted when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"An artificial coma means that we give his body the ability to better cope with the situation," Will said, receiving only a dismissive nod in response.

In his small office and a cup of hot coffee, he explained the details to Dean. Since he had already read a lot about it, the topic was not new.

"What took hours two years ago can now be discovered in half an hour, thanks to science. A laser beam is directed to the previously taken tissue sample, and the backscattered light then gives a characteristic spectral fingerprint of the germ.

Doctors then know which meds we can best treat for our sepsis patients. Because you fight bacteria completely different than viruses and in turn, unlike fungal infections.

If sepsis is well advanced and the circulation is attacked, it is called a septic shock. Sometimes the artificial coma is the last chance to help the body get through the biochemical chaos in its bloodstream and organs," Will explained in detail. "If the lungs and cardiovascular system stop functioning properly, then they can use artificial respiration and infusions to ensure the body's oxygenation.

We can replace the function of failed kidneys with transient dialysis. "

"That means in plain ...?"

"Well, his condition is not life-threatening. We have that under control. But as always in life, you have to expect surprises. He is only over the hump when he is awake again, and everything is as it was. It is no coincidence that coma has the epithet "life form on the verge of death."

"How long?"

"We decided to stay for a week, then we'll see. I do not have to tell you that it's important for him to feel that you're there."

"You can expect that" Dean smirked, getting to his feet and shaking his hand. "Thanks, Doc."

It was a relief to hear the news, and with a smile, he opened Cas's sickroom. But when he saw his husband lying there with a breathing tube in his mouth and the countless devices that monitored his life, his smile died down as well.

Immediately he pulled himself together because he knew ... ok, he hoped ... that Cas felt his presence and therefore all emotions.

He has often read reports of people in a coma but never heard an exact answer.

"I know you can hear me, at least I believe in it," he whispered, squeezing his hand lightly, staring at it and sighing. What did he expect? That Cas would squeeze back?

"Did not I tell you not to frighten me?!" Dean smiled, at least trying to, but to tell the truth, it tore his heart, and he bit his quivering lips.

With all his might he tried to hold back the rising tears.

"He needs some rest now, you can come back later," the nurse said and squeezed his shoulder. Dean was so lost in thought that he did not realize she had come back.

_'Rest? What rest? He's sleeping!'_

With a heavy heart, he kissed his hand and let go. After the young policeman had closed the door, he leaned against it and closed his eyes.

Since Cas's health, apart from the coma, was currently not in great shape, Dean had to pass through a lock and got a reasonably sterile turquoise-green tunic.

"Yes, I know, a sexy nurse looks different. It's only for a short time."

Smiling, he sat down next to him on the bed, took his hand and looked around.

"Madness, do you have any idea how many outlets are in the small room? You do not miss anything here, and your body functions are closely monitored. However, if you could see that you had a bladder catheter and a nasogastric tube, you would freak out.

On the one hand, it is not bad that you are calm and do not always talk to me in between. But on the other hand, I miss your voice, I miss you. You've become the one I never thought I'd find or deserve. You give me strength and courage, without you, I break. You are the rock in my life, Cas ..."

The tears began to rise again, and two left the corner of his eye and dripped on the limp hand. Dean looked at the wet spot and wished so much for a movement.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that if I lost you, I would miss the chance to be with you. And I do not know what I would do without you ... I love you!"

Slowly he calmed down again, occasional sobs became a soft whimper, until only the beeping of the heartbeat was heard on the monitor.

The nurse came back and hung up a new infusion.

"Medicines," she smiled as he looked questioningly at the young woman. "Do not you want to rest a bit? We will inform you when there is something new."

The beeping on the monitor rose, and Dean chuckled.

"See, he does not want me to go."

It was reassuring for Cas when Dean was with him because he could feel his presence.

And when he was left to his own, he had a series of dreams, some of which reflected reality, some of which consisted of imagined scenarios, and some were controlled by his own mind.

However, while dreaming, Cas felt like he was going crazy because he realized that he was dreaming so long and could not wake up. Thus he felt trapped in his own dream world ... and then there were the nightmares ...

The medication triggered in part anxiety attacks. Cas saw things, heard things, learned a lot, and to distinguish what was real and what was not, was almost impossible.

"Hey Dean, are you coming now or should I start alone?!"

In a lewd gesture, Castiel opened the robe and stood naked as God created him in the doorway of the bathroom. As he looked him up and down and licked his lips, Dean closed the laptop and ran the few steps to stand in a dark bathroom. He looked around desperately. It was probably sleep deprivation that triggered hallucinations.

"I can not, without you," he whispered with a quiver in his voice, and the pain that squeezed his heart almost took his breath away.

With shaking hands, he plunged at the sink and looked in the mirror.

"Have not we had enough?" He yelled at his reflection. Helpless and crying, he dropped to his knees and pounded his fist on the floor.

After a few minutes, he had calmed down again to swear again, not to sink into self-pity. At the wedding altar, he had promised Cas to always be there for him. No matter what.

_'I will not give up that easily, and I will not despair easily. I'll prove to you that you can count on me, if not now, when?'_

With some books in his luggage, he went back to the hospital the next day. His condition had not changed, but Dean was glad that it had not gotten worse. Another day passed, and there was not much left of Dean's intentions as he looked again at the lifeless body in bed struggling to survive.

The time in this bright, empty room was far too slow for Dean. First, he went to and fro, then he leafed through the newspapers he had already read three times, sat down in the chair or to his husband in the bed, and now and then looked out of the window into the gray winter sky.

He sighed, and it seemed to him that Castiel had been in a coma for weeks. The only change was Will or the nurses who came in to check on his values.

"You have to be patient," he was told again and again.

_'Patience ...'_

"That's hard for me Cas, so incredibly difficult."

Again he was desperate, and it was difficult not to show how bad he was. The hours he had slept through lately, you could count on one hand.

"Dean? Come on. I have to talk to you!"

With a worried look, he followed Will out the door, where both sat down. Where was the warmth in his voice?

"Is he feeling worse?" The policeman asked uncertainly.

"It's not about Cas. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." A relieved sigh and a shake of the head followed.

"No, it does not. The last thing Castiel needs now is for you to fold up. How many hours have you slept in the last days?"

He lit the green eyes with the slit lamp and simultaneously took his wrist.

"I'm fine," Dean repeated annoyed and wriggled out of the medical grips.

"What about food?"

"No appetite, but you could invite me for a beer," the dark blonde replied wittily.

Halstead nodded and sighed. An evening with friends and without pondering would be good for both of them.

Kim hugged him and noticed with some reproach that an update was long overdue when Dean opened the door to Molly's.

"If I'm not at home, Cas or 51, I'm at the police station," he mumbled but knew she did not mean it that way.

All present, Herrmann had again attached the sign of the 'closed society' to the door, gathered around Dean and Will Halstead.

What actually will notice Cas, Otis asked.

The doctor explained that you had to imagine an artificial coma like a general anesthetic. Just longer. The drugs produced an artificial unconsciousness. The patient was artificially ventilated, all essential body functions such as heart rate and blood pressure were monitored. That is, the doctors controlled this condition.

This is done to relieve the pain or give the body a chance to recover and mitigate the organism. When the doctors dropped off the anesthetics, the patients woke up again, slowly but steadily, simply by reducing the medication.

"Is he dreaming?" His brother Jay wanted to know.

"In an artificial coma and narcosis, the brain is partially paralyzed chemically. Depending on how strong the medication is dosed, therefore, the subconscious mind is more or less switched off, since for examinations the deep relaxation of the muscles is indeed required. And just in the subconscious, the dream processes are moving. Nobody can say if and how much these people will notice or dream."

But when he saw Dean's disappointed face, he added that in every phase of a drowsy or deep sleep, the subconscious was present - as with any living person.

But how much the subconscious heard, you could not check. Experience has shown, however, that talking to patients and having regular touches had a positive impact on the patient's condition.

"So, but there is also good news," he smiled and looked into questioning faces, as he increased the tension with the delaying of the answer. "We start to wake him up slowly tomorrow. The values have improved surprisingly fast, and nothing stands in the way. You can all visit him in a few days."

Will had to hold his glass because Dean hugged him so stormily and it finally amounted to a group embrace.

The anesthesiologist explained to the young policeman, tapping his feet nervously on the ground, that he should not be too hopeful, for recovering from a coma was not the way you knew it from movies. No sudden sitting in bed and babble. It was usually a lengthy process that could last for days.

He did not care, just wanted to look back into his angel's eyes and tell him how much he loved him.

Gradually, the meds were reduced. It took and lasted.

The next setback come the next day. Cas had fallen into a real coma.

For Dean, a world collapsed. In what condition would he wake up? What if Cas would never wake up?

The machine was snapping in time. Air in, air out. Air in, air out. The person who had his lungs filled was lying on the bed as if he were dead ... and he was not. It was a terrible picture.

Everything felt numb and unreal, and suddenly everything was too much for Dean, he had to get out of this room. He did not feel the cold wind on his clothes, nor the drizzle that wet his short hair as he rushed headlong down the stairs, tore open the glass door and rushed haphazardly into the park.

So many dangerous situations had the policeman overcome, so often facing death, and now he should not be able to do anything? The helplessness that rose in him, gnawed at the young man, made him kick the wooden bench he passed, before desperately settling on it and dropping his head on his hands. Dean was not one who gave up, no one whined and pitied himself. But what should he do now? What could he do? Where was the straw of hope he could cling to?

The hand, which lay suddenly on his back, he barely registered, and when he straightened up and recognized the chaplain with a tear-shrouded look, the policeman fell sobbing around his neck.

"I can not anymore," the young policeman whimpered after he had told him everything.

"Alright, kid. Castiel needs you now."

"What he needs is a miracle!" Dean shouted in a tear-stained voice.

With all his strength he clung to the older man, like a drowning man, because the dark-blond had the feeling that the ground under his feet had been pulled away.

"We two will drink a strong coffee now, and then I will accompany you to Cas."

"Do not know if you're allowed in," the dark blonde sniffed.

"Believe me, my boy, I'm allowed to do that," Orlovsky grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, making Dean laugh with tears as well.

"What? Damn it!"

Dean sprang from his bed, turned around once more, and looked startled at his alarm clock. Yes, he had already seen correctly the first time.

Not only did not the alarm sound, but he had also slept through almost eleven hours at a time. He had a good conversation with the chaplain the day before, had regained his courage and talked about all his worries from his heart. And, dammit ... He had slept through the night for days. Somehow he felt good that morning, really good.

The hope and confidence were back, and after a long shower he just allowed himself and a long letter from his colleagues, he went to the hospital.

At the door of the ICU's sickroom, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked around for the doctor.


	15. Chapter 15

A few hours earlier ...

Voices. He heard voices. Silently, indistinctly. Cas pricked up his ears; something was different. Where was he? Slightly he grinned as he remembered this episode from the television series Supernatural, where that angel ... damn, what was his name ?! No matter ...

Anyway, that was in such a place called 'Empty'. That's exactly what happened to him. Darkness. Nothing.

Although he could not see anything but hear. The firefighter tried to remember what had happened. But as hard as he tried, and that was exhausting ... the last thing he knew was that he was so cold and that nurse wanted to give him a suppository.

Yes exactly ... Cas had told that he would do it himself. Only one was allowed to get his ass, and that was Dean. Dean ... where was he? Why did not he get him out of this dark state?

After all, he had saved him once before. But now he tried to follow the conversation that was taking place somewhere. He was still in the hospital?

There was a voice he knew. Will Halstead. The doctor of his confidence ... and another female voice. According to the type of phrasing, it could be a nurse. Of those, he had lately ... wait a minute. How long has he been here?

And what the hell was that annoying beeping? Besides, his hand hurt as if something was inside. It felt like a knife ... It was not possible to swallow either. He had the feeling of suffocating, did not know that he was artificially ventilated.

Panic rose in him and he tried to move or say something, but as hard as he tried, it did not work — only darkness.

The beeping became faster, just as he felt his heart racing. Could this be related? Oh, they both had noticed that too. Castiel tried to swallow again.

"Do you see, Doctor, can it be that he wakes up?"

"Cas? Can you hear me?" Will asked, putting a hand on his chest and looking into the motionless face.

_'Sure, and I can feel you too. Do something. There's something in my throat!'_

Agonizing moments passed for the young man. Even though he himself had the feeling of beating and kicking, in reality he did not move a millimeter.

"We extubate. Do not panic; you'll feel better soon."

Only a faint rustling could be heard, and then there was silence again. But it was terrible for Cas. It scratched and was just uncomfortable.

"No reflexes," the doctor sighed as he lit his little lamp in Cas's eyes and checked on his soles.

_'What crap are you talking about, the light dazzles, and it tickles!'_

"But he breathes on his own."

Nodding, Will had to admit that this was a headway. The black-haired man tried to say something, but his lips did not move. Then he was left alone again, and only a few seconds later he fell into a troubled twilight state, but after almost 160 hours of sleep, one was probably well rested.

"Will! Is ... is Cas awake?"

A hint of disappointment spread in Dean as the doctor shook his head.

"But he breathes on his own. We have greatly reduced the medication and now have to wait. As I said, his values are good. He still needs time. We have done everything, and now you come into play. You are safety, emotional security and confidence. We still have some tests to do, but I think he is currently in a mix of a coma and the so-called 'locked-in syndrome'. It's too early to say anything more."

Dean was thrilled, hard to stop himself from kissing the doctor. Instead, he pinched his cheeks, and with a relieved grunt he turned to go to his sweetheart.

"Do not overburden him!" He shouted after him, but only got a waving hand in response.

"Hello, my handsome husband."

With a kiss on his forehead, he greeted him before he sat down on the bed and took Cas's hand in his own. It was a nice feeling to finally see him without that annoying, and admittedly, also a bit scary, tube. He also got used to the monitor's beeping. On the contrary, something was reassuring about hearing the powerful and regular heartbeat.

"I have so much to tell you. Actually, I do not know where to start. You know what? At Firehouse 51 there is now a dog. A little beagle terrier ... oh the devil knows what it's all mixed up with," Dean chuckled, stroking Cas's arm. "Anyway, someone has abandoned him ... you know, by the sign saying 'safe harbor'. At night it started to snow again. Mouch discovered the little fellow, and at first, it did not look good. But the dog is a fighter nature ... just like you. That's why Severide wanted to call him Cas. But on the one hand this could lead to misunderstandings, and on the other, it is a female. Well, her name is Cassie now.

You should have seen the Chief, he raged first, but after licking his face once, he did not want to let her go. She has the same blue eyes like you. "

Sighing longingly, he looked into his husband's face and wished that those eyes would open again.

A smile formed on Dean's face when he asked if he could feel it, as he placed the lifeless hand against his cheek and then kissed each finger, for the heartbeat increased slightly.

"I knew it. You can hear and feel me. Oh Cas, I'm so happy. Can you ... can you move your fingers. No, do not strain yourself. Relax, we'll catch up with everything. I'll keep talking. Just listen to me."

It was so nice to hear Dean's voice, and though the black-haired man was too exhausted to follow this quick and over-zealous sermon, it was that soft and affectionate voice that made his heart beat faster in the truest sense of the word.

After two hours, the nurse came and literally had to pull Dean away from his husband.

"It's alright. I'll be back in a few hours," he murmured, and the nurse turned to Castiel, laughing.

"You may have a stubborn husband."

_'I know, and for that I love him'_

While everyone hoped he would wake up, Cas dreamed that he was naked on a train traveling through America. Because he was naked, he did not have a passport, so he could not go home. It was a terrible feeling to want to go back and not to be able to. He could feel that desperation even when he was back in his right mind.

"Good morning, honey. You look good."

As he sat down to his husband on the bed, he shook his head.

"No, I lied to you. You look like shit. The first will be that I'll feed you up again. No back talk. You will eat everything I will serve you. Just look at your wrist. I can get around with my thumb and forefinger."

As proof, he did just that and sighed thoughtfully. But the grief and the worries did not pass him by without a trace, and he himself had lost some weight.


	16. Chapter 16

It was the next day when Cas opened his eyes. That was beautiful on the one hand, but totally spooky on the other. Because they did not react or move, just stared at one point. But every two hours the nurse came with eye drops to prevent them from drying out.

Talking was out of the question, let alone moving fingers or facial features. It was exhausting enough for Cas to open his eyes. Gently, Dean put his hand on his cold cheek and kept asking him to look at him until the nurse literally patted his fingers.

Yes, Dean Winchester and patience. These two things just did not fit and it was not easy to learn that. Nevertheless, he was happy about this little progress.

If it was not Dean who informed his friends about all these processes, it was Orlovsky who came by spontaneously now and then.

"For a relationship, combating death is the biggest challenge," he said. "One is mentally and physically completely naked in front of the partner. Imagine that your husband lies at the bottom of a sea and has to fight his way back to the surface from deep depths, slowly and tenaciously. Surely it is where he is, dark, cold and lonely."

The wise words of the chaplain reinforced Dean's actions and he was so glad he was with them.

For him, it was constant chaos of emotions. Minute changes in heart rate or blood pressure on the monitor were interpreted as a glimmer of hope. The two were sure that Cas could hear them.

After Dean was in the fresh air, having a coffee at the machine and walking back to his husband, he sensed that the black-haired was struggling with something.

The heartbeat was a bit high, and he felt that Cas's face had darkened slightly. Carefully he sat down on the bed, took his hand and stroked the other over his cheek, while he spoke softly and quietly with him. The young policeman's heart broke as he saw a tear slowly making its way down the pale cheek.

"No matter which demons you're fighting with, it's not real, are you listening? I'm here, focus on my voice and my touch."

Cas dreamed, as he had many times before, of his parents and to make it clear, of their death. It was a sunny day. Cas was six, just enrolled in school. But he did not feel well there. The other children teased him because he wore braces. 'Robots', they called him and that he should not open his mouth, otherwise these wires would kill the other children.

That was too much for the little heart, and it did not only express itself in nightmares but also abdominal pain and nausea. Screaming and raging, he refused to get up from his bed. He did not want to go there, but he did not tell the reason to his parents. He was too ashamed of that because he knew that both were working hard to enable him to do so. On this day, both decided to stay with their son.

If he had gone to school, it would not have happened. It was a cable fire, that was found out later — a stupid accident. All he could remember was that his mother died of a smoke intoxication in the hospital, and his father in the house, trying to protect his son. But this fear, horror, and lack of hope were more present than ever.

Of course, he had therapies behind him, for a little boy it was not easy to process all that. That was why he went to the fire department. In each rescued child he saw himself again, with each victim he felt guilty. That was his way of dealing with the experience. He thought he deserved it.

Cas had no idea how many hours, days or even weeks had passed. He woke again when he heard a familiar sound.

'Strumming', he always jokingly called it, because Dean usually hit the wrong notes on his guitar. But at that moment it was the most beautiful tune that reached his ears and spread like a warm wave throughout the body.

But when he sang ... Dean did that in moments when he was unobserved because in that way he was shy. For his husband, it was the most beautiful voice he had ever heard.

'I don't want a lot for Christmas

There's just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you'

He sighed happily, and even though he thought that Dean could not hear him anyway, this guitar stopped suddenly.

For a moment, the dark blond was not sure he had fantasized, but then he put down the guitar and sat down in bed.

His heart was beating faster now.

"Do that again," he whispered, laying his hand on the blanket, directly over Cas's heart. He waited tensely, one minute, two ...

Luckily two tears ran down his face when his husband made himself felt again. A gentle kiss on his motionless lips followed before he ran outside to search for Will.

"Yes, he is getting better every day. The brain stem reflexes are completely intact again, for example, they are responsible for respiration and swallowing. The circulation works, the eyes are open. Responses to external stimuli come gradually. It takes time, but it will," he said as he examined Cas, nodding encouragingly to Dean and leaving the room again.

"Have you heard? Oh, Cas. I miss you so much."

With the nurses, he understood better and insisted on doing some things himself, even when it came to an 'accident'.

It happened when Dean read to him from a book and suddenly had a strange smell in his nose. When he looked up, closed the book and leaned over his husband, his eyes still fixed on one spot, he noticed that the pale face had turned to a shade of red he only knew when Cas was a little embarrassed.

"What's up, honey?" He asked, looking at the book. "That's just Moby Dick."

Because he did not know what to do, he rang the nurse, who immediately saw what was going on.

"Please go out, Mr. Winchester."

"Why?"

With a smile, she explained that his bowel had given way and she had to change the underlay. Dean shrugged and insisted on doing it himself.

Cas got it all and was glad he could not see, but felt the heat on his face continue to rise.

With a wave of his hand, Dean shooed the nurse out the door and turned back to his husband as he put on gloves.

"Do not worry, I'm familiar with it, I've often done that to my nephew."

With a moan, he moved the heavy body and noted that his nephew was not so flabby.

"No fake shame, take it like a grown-up," he joked, trying to be as careful as possible, not to hurt him.

Silently humming to himself, he would have had nothing against a helping hand, but he did it alone. With quick movements, he finished in a few minutes and washed him thoroughly. Cas did not know if he could hold his breath but tried. That was so unpleasant to him.

"Come on," Dean mumbled shaking his head as he heard the rapid heartbeat on the monitor and knew his husband would have preferred to be invisible. "In good times and bad, you know."

In the interception room, of course, the alarm went off, and the nurse put her head in the door to ask if everything was alright. Dean put the soiled utensils in her hand and took off his gloves.

"All done, he's just a little shy," the younger man grinned.

When the two men were alone again, and Cas wondered why he was still lying on his side with bared buttocks, he heard a familiar growl behind his back.

Shortly after that, he felt something soft, wet, which touched his left ass cheek, followed by three kisses.

Dean could not resist, too big was the desire to touch him again. Without saying a word, he stroked his hand over the soft flesh, up over the spine and back down. Again and again. So long, until he nodded in satisfaction, as goosebumps had formed on his thighs and arms.

"I love you. Any spot on your beautiful body and if you were not so heavy, I could do it for hours, but I can not hold you anymore."

Gently but quickly, he relaxed his hand, and Castiel lay on his back again.

It went uphill step by step.

One day, when Dean leaned over him and pressed a kiss on his forehead, his husband closed his eyes for a moment and then looked directly at him.

"Just strike me pink!" The policeman mumbled stunned, sat down on the chair, watched intently as the blue eyes followed. Suddenly he got up, went to the other side of the room, then stood on the other side of the bed and finally sat down ono the bed. Everywhere Cas's eyes followed, then finally turned to him.

"You have beautiful eyes."

Smiling, he kissed his fingers and had the feeling here also felt a movement on his lips. But could also have been imagination. At that moment, he was just glad that Cas was looking at him. And he looked at him for a long time, just as the green-eyed man silently returned that look.

Cas's eyes filled with water when he was finally able to see his husband again. He did not even blink, not to miss the precious hundredths of a second.

What he noticed, however, was that Dean looked terrible.

How he would have liked to stretch out his hand and wipe those worries out of his face.

He was sorry, he was to blame — a sigh that Dean knew only too well followed.

"Cas, I'm fine, and you're fine. That's all you have to worry."

That evening, Dean had made a decision. He did not want to go home. He missed the closeness of his husband. So he took off his shoes and jacket and thought for a moment how to do it. The bed was way too small for two full grown men.

"You have to slip a piece. Otherwise it will not work."

If Cas had been able, he would have laughed. What came out of his mouth, but was a barely arrange hum. Dean wanted to undress completely, as hot as he was trying to crawl under the blanket of his husband.

"Am I happy when we are back in our bed ..."

Of course, the alarm went off again immediately, because it was already something different.

"Mr. Winchester. Get out of bed!" The nurse shouted.

"It took me a few minutes to get in here," he replied cheekily.

The scenes that took place before Cas's eyes were the greatest thing he had experienced in a long time.

"That's not possible!"

"Oh come on, make an exception," Dean pleaded, but the nurse was afraid to get into the devil's kitchen.

"Then you call Will ... um ... Mister Halstead."

Grumpy, she closed the door, and since there was no sign of her, the case had settled for Dean.

"Phew ... that would be done. And now to us two beauties."

Dean lowered his mouth to kiss his head, lifting his chin slightly to look Cas in the eye. Despite the darkness, these shone like two sapphires. This put a smile on the policeman's face, and he lovingly pulled the blanket over Cas, because he himself was terribly hot.

Then he kissed his forehead and his right temple, down over his cheek to his chin. Every kiss was a mixture of gentleness and despair. Dean had missed that so much. Even though his husband did not respond, he hoped he felt the same way.

Yes, Cas felt the slight pressure of those full lips on his skin and a relieved sigh escaped his lungs. How gladly he would have kissed him back, but his reflexes did not resonate. Not yet. Emotionally and tenderly his jaw was covered with a series of kisses, and his heartbeat rose.

Dean was startled because the last thing he wanted was for that bitchy nurse to stick her nose in the door.

"Cas, close your eyes, and we'll try to sleep a little, okay? We will do that later. Very soon, I promise. Then, when your chest is no longer connected to those annoying cables. I love you."


	17. Chapter 17

Maybe it was the excitement when he realized he could get away from the ICU, but something was wrong, and he did not just hear that from the monitor, which beeped like crazy. Had he been able to see himself, Cas would have known that he was sweaty but still cold. It only took a few seconds for the room to fill up with people and a variety of devices, but for Castiel it felt like an eternity. An eternity in which he felt his heart clenched. An eternity in which he thought that had been it now.

"Ventricular fibrillation!" That was the doctor's word that burned deep into Dean's brain.

The nurse prepared the defibrillator while the doctor started a heart massage. "Bring the man out of here!" He said to a young nurse who seemed to stand in the way more and turned to Dean.

"Come ... please wait in the corridor," she said, gently gripping the young policeman's arm, who instantly shook off angrily.

"I stay with my husband! You can not just kick me out!" He shouted in a shaky voice as Cas's body was seized by the resuscitation device and sank back limply. The beeping became more regular before it stumbled again.

"Get out of here!" The doctor shouted, looking directly at Dean. "Let us do our job."

Again and again, Cas heard his husband desperately calling his name. This voice became weaker and weaker until he did not hear it anymore.

"Do you know where you are?"

It was so loud for Cas, and he wondered why this doctor was shouting at him, but that just felt like it.

_'Sure. In the hospital, already felt months!'_

On the one hand, he felt relieved that everyone looked after him so well, on the other he was worried when he heard a woman's voice.

"We lose him again, where is that ...?!"

The young firefighter felt the rush and panic around him. His last thought was for his husband before his eyes closed and darkness surrounded him again.

Again he was trapped in the dream world. The world he loved and hated at the same time.

If he had a better grip on writing his own script in the beginning, it suddenly became more and more the case that these dreams controlled him. Maybe it was the medication, maybe it was because he did not know if he was awake or asleep.

The realities mingled and that scared him in part. Unwrapping a self-adhesive bandage from the roll made a scratchy, unpleasant sound, like lying in a casket and scratching desperately with fingernails.

Moving the bed up and down felt like he was on a ship that threatened to sink at any moment. Another time he wanted to scream when a nurse came to his bed and with a distorted grinning face promised to come every night at the same time to inject him fear. She held a syringe with a damn long needle in the air, which she then attached to his neck.

These nightmares were always interrupted when he felt his husband's presence.

In his mind, he tried to imagine his face again and again. The bright emerald eyes, the sassy, short-cropped hair, the beautiful smile, and the cheeky sayings he always had on his lips. If he caught that moment and fell into a deep sleep, he dreamed of him. Of them both. From work, from the common home.

The first step was done, his consciousness was back. Now he just had to find somehow a way to wake up.

Dean had no idea how many low blows he could take without finally collapsing as he reached out his trembling hand to clasp his husband.

He did not say a word, just looked at him in desperation. While the results were stable and Cas did not need artificial respiration, which was a good sign, the firefighter was still so fragile and weak. His eyes were closed, and even though everyone was hoping, no one knew exactly how many hours it would take for him to wake up.

"Please go home, Dean."

With tears in his eyes, he looked at Halstead and followed him after saying goodbye to his husband. If he had tried to keep his composure in the sickroom, he collapsed in front of the door and slid along the wall until he was sitting on the floor.

Twice they had to reanimate Castiel. Even though Dean was always reassured that his husband had the heart of a fighter, the dark blond again lost a piece of his hope and that hurt so damn hard.

Sobbing, he buried his head in his hands, and the hand that squeezed his shoulder could hardly calm him down.

At that moment, Gabriela and her colleague came around the corner, who of course immediately decided to take the young man to the guard, because in this state, he should not be alone.

"You gave us all a real scare."

"Thanks, Will. For everything," Castiel whispered. He found it difficult to speak, the words came out of his mouth only croaking and choppy, but he was glad to speak at all, as much as his throat ached.

"Wake up and responsive," Dean hummed happily.

The clinic's call came the next morning. Dean hurried down the corridor, apologizing to a male nurse, whom he nearly knocked down, and joyfully pushed open the door to the hospital room. By now he had been moved, and somehow the annoying noise of the heart monitor was missing. Cas sat upright in bed, Dean just heard how he had thanked Will.

"Man Cas, those were some crazy days," Dean sighed in relief and squeezed his shoulder.

Slowly, the black-haired man turned to the other side and frowned.

"Who are you?"

"W-what, Cas?!"

His heart missed a beat and completely stunned, he stared for a few moments into the expressionless, pale face.

If he had known what fears Dean had been going through in the last few days, he might have avoided it. But he did not know that yet.

After a few moments of shock, however, he saw a small glint in the blue eyes, took a deep breath and shook his head in relief.

"Dude, when you're on your feet again, you'll get the receipt for that. Because I do not want to beat up a helpless man in bed!"

Will laughed and Cas ... he tried, at least, but it ended in a fit of coughing.

"See, those little sins punish God immediately," the young policeman smirked, giving him something to drink. But that hurt even more and shaking his head, the black-haired man waved.

From that moment on everything went fast. Every hour meant a step back to life for him and Dean. Only two days later he spoke with the help of a speech therapist louder and clearer. The young firefighter hardly remembers the events, or rather, he tried to suppress them, but he recognized his friends, knew birthdays and was in his right mind. Dean's fear was that he could not remember it. Gradually, the remaining, disturbing things were removed from his body, he was hungry and could soon drink alone with a straw.

At noon Dean came back. Since the black-haired man was still too weak, his husband was allowed to feed him and to be honest; Dean liked this 'mothering'. Soup and applesauce, solid food was not yet on the program. His gums were slightly inflamed, gradually the little things came to light, caused by the long lying.

As practical as it was, Cas almost cheered as the catheter was pulled out of his penis.

To be honest, it pinched, but the relief was all the greater.

The nurse put a small bottle of water on the bedside table, the only problem was that he could not open it. The strength was missing. Somehow he managed to do it with the help of his teeth. Well, and since the water had to go out again, he needed a urine. Just where to put it? On the floor, so Dean accidentally tip over it?

He learned that there was a holder on the bed. Very convenient.

To reduce the risk of infection, all unnecessary additions came out of the body and antibiotics in, an infusion three times a day.

Sit on the edge of the bed, get up, take two steps to the left, two steps to the right, sit down. Castiel was sweating, and he was dizzy ... unbelievable how fast muscles could break down ...

At this time, he thought about his job for the first time. By means of the physiotherapist and also because he was putting himself under pressure, he was able to make great progress a short time later and made the first wobbly attempts at walking. He was also promised to spend Christmas at home.

Eventually, Cas lay in bed and began to look at his wounds. No question, it would heal everything. Cas was glad that he had survived because as he had learned, from time to time it did not look so good.

An occupational therapist also checked him. Count the months backward, mental math, reminder tests. This worked out well, which was not self-evident because sepsis could damage the brain and lead to losses.

Since his voice sounded very hoarse, as his vocal cords were still swollen, the speech therapist came over and did a few exercises with him.

The next day he made his first steps alone with the rollator on the corridor. Dean stuck him quickly with plaster the, on the back open nightgown, so that no one could see too much.

The joy was hard to describe when, for the first time, with the rollator, he could go to the bathroom alone. Without help. A great feeling.

You learn to appreciate the little progress if you were in such a situation.

And always someone was there. Often even the entire guard of the 51, because if an emergency came, you had no time to collect the rest of the crew.

"... Boden’s emergency vehicle ahead and behind the fire engine, all cars immediately made room, so we got through well, no wonder if you had the big red giant in the rearview mirror," Mouch laughed, and the others joined in.

Everyone had a story ready; everyone tried to cheer up Cas.

"... and I had to be sewn with ten stitches," Severide said, proudly showing his forearm.

Climbing stairs were the next hurdle; it was more exhausting downhill because you had to brake.

Shortly before his upcoming dismissal, he cycled for half an hour on the ergometer. A little later, he felt muscles that he had never even suspected existed.

"Only at the limit one gets better," the senior physician said.

"Sore muscles? Train on it! "The physiotherapist smirked.

Cas had survived all examinations successfully, there was no consequential damage, and the discharge was nothing in the way.

But what bothered him was the sleep disturbances. The whole events of the last weeks came again. He dreamed of people who kept him from doing something or wanted him to do something bad.

A psychologist showed him relaxation exercises and helped him to work with positive pictures. But the best relaxation for him was his husband.

And after Dean had heard of some of these fears, he also insisted on sleeping with him in the narrow bed the next night.

"Nice to have you back," Dean whispered as he gently stroked through the black, soft hair.

"Thanks for everything, without you I would not have made it," Cas replied with tears in his eyes.

He had never experienced a human sacrificing himself for him, and he loved his man with every fiber of his being.

"I feel the same way."

Dean was sure he would not have survived had he lost his love.

The bed squeaked slightly as the two men clung to each other and a giggle escaped them both. Thank god they were the only ones in this room.

Cas's right hand rested on his cheek, and a pleasant shudder passed through the younger man as he felt a breathy 'I love you' on his lips.

To emphasize these words, Dean moved even closer and pressed his lips to his husband's. A flock of butterflies began to flutter, and Dean could not suppress a groan as he felt a naked, muscular thigh between his legs, rubbing against him barely noticeably. Both knew that they could not do that, as one of the nurses always made their rounds, but none of them could stop either.

The fireman drew in a sharp breath as he felt a hand under his nightgown, stroking his chest, taking turns taking his right and then the left nipple between his fingers, rubbing it lightly and teasing.

"We can not do that!" Dean warned, biting the back of his neck gently.

"I'm sorry," Cas mumbled into his ear but did not back away a millimeter. On the contrary, he moved even closer and let Dean feel how aroused he was. He could not do anything against it. His husband smelled so good. After fresh clothes and Dean. The best smell there was.

"You're killing me, Honey," Dean sighed, gently pushing Cas's upper body away from him.

"I want you, I want you so much," Cas whispers almost desperately.

"Ok, I got you. But not here, "Dean muttered, dizzy with arousal.

So far went his last bit of mind that had not yet passed between his legs that you could smell sex.

"I'm so on board, Cas. But not here," he repeated again, looking into his big blue eyes.

"We ... we could go to the bathroom, I ... Dean, I need it, I need you, now. I am hard as a rock!"

His mind was against it, his body was for it. Dean nodded and crawled out of bed. On the way to the bathroom, he wondered how Castiel should be standing in the shower when he could hardly stand on his feet. The problem quickly disappeared when he saw the shower set up. In addition, to grab the handles, there was also a seat that was easy to fold from the wall.

After Dean locked the door, he turned around with a grin, put his arm around his husband and loosened the loop on his neck.

"And we'll take it home," he chuckled and got only an eye roll in response.

In no time, he took off his own clothes and turned on the warm water.

"Sit down and leave the rest to me."

Groaning softly Cas clutched himself with slim, graceful fingers and slowly began to rub up and down. Dean could not help but watch for a moment.

"Shit, look at you," the young policeman breathed. "You look so hot!"

The face flushed, as well as his chest, he looked down on his husband, breathing heavily.

"I want to be in you, Dean. Please ..."

His glassy eyes gave the impression of being sick, but the deep tone of his voice dripped with arousal and need.

"Your wish is my command, my angel," he whispered back, leaning down and kissing him on the lips. With shampoo, he did not have anything else, he started to get ready, and Cas had to stop his work, because this incredible sight, as Dean's finger gradually disappeared slowly in his hole, almost brought the older man out of his mind.

After a few moments, he could not wait and squatted over him, biting his lower lip and narrowing his eyes as he slowly lowered himself. Always up and down, again and again, a small piece. Damn, that was burning, and Dean was gasping for air.

Even for Cas, the air was short, but not in pain, but by the sensations that twitched through his body as he penetrated deeper and deeper.

"Oh, God!"

Panting, he finally sat and clung convulsively to the handles, their lips were the only thing that moved.

"So hard for me ... Cas," Dean growled between hot kisses and every minute movement sent electric shocks through their bodies.

The black-haired man could not decide where to look first — Dean's arms, tense enough to reveal every single muscle and tendon, or their pelvis, which had united and pulsed in unison, or into his face where the glittering drops of water reflected.

"So beautiful, oh Dean, so sexy."

If the dark blonde had not been so caught up in his feelings, he might have blushed.

The entire time their mouths did not separate. They breathed the same air, swallowing their sounds and trying to be as quiet as possible. Hungry, Dean's gaze wandered to his own cock, which his husband pampered with skillful grips before his head landed heavily on his shoulders.

The other hand, he felt alternately in his short hair, then suddenly on his butt.

"You're so damn hot, Cas ... I want to ... ahh ... want to make you scream, suck on your skin until there's a bruise and everyone sees ... oh fuck! You are mine."

"Yours," Cas agreed breathlessly as his tongue flicked over Dean's collarbone before rejoining the other.

"So close ..."

"Dean!" The older man croaked hoarsely, hugging him as hard as he could.

"Come, come for me, my angel. Give me everything you have," Dean whispered wickedly, nibbling and sucking on his earlobe until he could feel it.

The fire of passion screamed through his entire nervous system, and Cas had great difficulty not screaming. Again and again, he felt the thrusts crawling up his urethra.

Never had he come so hard. Relief and happiness flowed through him and for a moment he cursed himself to be such a sissy, for he already had too many tears in his eyes that rolled over his face. But that's exactly what Dean loved about his sensitive husband.

After a few more bumps, Dean was also at the end. His sperm mixed with the warm water on Cas's stomach and chest and dripped onto the floor of the shower.

That was the moment, one of the most beautiful sights for the black-haired. Then, when Dean's eyes widened and he was in the moment of total pleasure and liberation.

Both noses pressed against each other's neck, as they lazily rode out their orgasms and slowly came back to normal breathing.

"Thank you, Dean," the seated man smiled somewhat embarrassed as he felt gentle hands on his skin gently lathering him.

"You do not thank for sex, dumbhead," Dean laughed softly, and after the two had dressed again and were just on their way to bed, the nurse put her head in the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Toilet," Cas stammered.

"With wet hair?!" The blonde woman frowned.

"Ok, caught," Dean groaned, whereupon Cas looked at him questioningly. "My husband had a nightmare and was so sweaty that I showered him for a second."

"And why are your hair wet too?"

"Will that be an interrogation? What do you want to hear? That we had wild sex in the shower? In his condition hardly possible, right?!"

Dean looked at her seriously and waited for an answer.

"It's alright. Good night," she murmured, turning off the light and closing the door.

The couple waited a few seconds before they were sure she was gone, then they burst out laughing as they slipped back into bed and cuddled together.


	18. Chapter 18

The young firefighter was in the hospital for nearly three weeks.

Although Dean was a little chaotic he also had his specific routines. For example, he always got up at the same time, even when he was free. And that was what Castiel knew.

Dressed and ready to finally get home, he sat on his bed with his cell phone. He had already signed all the forms and said goodbye to everyone.

'Good morning sleepyhead'

Cas did not have to wait long for an answer.

'Good morning, this side next to me will hopefully not be empty for long'

That was his cue. He walked quickly to the elevator as he kept sending SMS to keep Dean busy, as he wanted to surprise him at home. Of course, the dark blonde did not suspect anything of that, and a glance at the clock told him he had to hurry had it not been for the constant SMS he had to answer.

'You do not have to rush, I still have to go to the CT', Cas wrote, but in reality was already with one foot in the taxi.

'All right, a quick shower and a coffee. I can not wait to have you back with me.'

The ride lasted only ten minutes and with a beating heart, the black-haired hoped to slip into the house unnoticed. As cautiously as he could, he unlocked the front door and put the bag in the hallway. But he should not have been so quiet, because when he heard the water, he knew that his husband was in the shower. Then he kissed the floor. Well, not as a metaphor.

He really kissed it. With a smile, he took off his shoes and tiptoed to the dark brown door, which was wide open. The wet noise had stopped, and he watched Dean step out of the shower, dry himself and tie the yellow towel loosely around his hips.

Cas's smile turned into a grin when he heard the soft, happy whistling. The policeman stood with his back to him and wiped his hand over the fogged mirror, but stopped halfway in the movement when he saw in the mirror who was standing behind him.

"Lick me ..." he shrieked, turned around and threw himself exuberantly on his husband's neck as he placed countless kisses on his face. "How are you?"

"Maybe I'll do that later," he chuckled. "Dean, you've always been with me, you know how I'm doing."

Shaking his head, he made Dean understand that he had rested long enough and finally wanted to see the people of the two guards. Dean could not refuse him and arm in arm, and with a big smile, they opened the door to Molly's.

"But just tell it, if it does not take you too hard," his worried husband said and stroked Cas lovingly on the back. With a smile, he nodded as the young policeman pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"I have never been to Alaska and have never shown any interest in it. But for some reason, I was in Alaska again and again, and it was so beautiful," he marveled as all eyes were fixed on his lips.

"I remember just sitting and watching the beautiful landscape for hours. It was freezing cold, but I did not care. As it turned out, I was cooled down with ice because I had a very strong fever."

He got almost everything the people around him talked about, what they did to him. He had never used drugs before, but that's how he felt. As through a veil. Like on a trip. Partly beautiful, partly pure horror.

Cas remembered an oil rig and a house where he was trapped.

"The Psychodoc said that would be very typical. This feeling of isolation. But you kept getting me out of there, Dean. With your presence, body contact, by talking to me. I love you, Dean, and thank you for what you did for me."

Sighing happily, Cas rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment as he felt strong hands hugging him affectionately.

Castiel had survived. Maybe because no one had given up hope, maybe because he was a well-trained, young man. Maybe it was just luck.

"That's nice," Dean slurred sleepy, and with his eyes closed, he clasped his husband even tighter. With a smile, Castiel grabbed the strong hands that lay around his chest and leans his head back.

"Good morning, Dean."

"Morning, Hon."

Fall asleep together and wake up together. At last, everything would become normal again.

"I do not want to leave," the black-haired man sighed, closing his eyes and snuggling even closer to his husband if that was even possible.

Dean nodded silently, but he knew it would be best for him to do the two weeks of rehabilitation.

"Today we are celebrating Christmas and then ... you will see, the time will pass by in flight, and maybe I'll visit you sometimes. We go for a walk and build a snowman."

"Or a snow angel," Cas chuckled and turned to face him.

Suddenly Dean remembered something. He had stared into his husband's blue eyes for so long that he almost forgot the most important thing. With a smile, he turned around, opened his bedside drawer, reached in and pulled out something that caused another giggle in the firefighter. Dean lifted the mistletoe with the red bow over their heads and announced gravely that Cas would have to kiss him now.

"Hm ... I have no other choice. You should not break traditions, do you?"

The younger man shook his head and shrugged. Traditions should not be broken.

With a wink, Cas took the mistletoe, dropped it over his shoulder and turned the young policeman on his back.

"It is said that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. Wanna fight?"

Dean's answer was a low, contented humming as his hand moved naturally to his husband's hips, pushing their bodies closer together.

Dean let his gaze wander between blue eyes and those red lips expectantly as he bit his own lower lip.

Everything in his body screamed to finally be able to touch those lips, but Cas took extra time to look at his husband, after all, he had plenty of time to catch up and countless seconds passed before he leaned down to him.

Immediately, the young policeman took this angelic face between his hands so as not too stupid him. But retreating was the last thing Castiel wanted. His heart began to beat faster as he closed his eyes and put his lips on the other.

The crackle in the air was literally felt, as both held their breath for a moment to inhale the sweet air of the other.

Feeling the warmth, the affection, the small, intimate gestures, even if it was only a finger that brushed the fireman's stubborn hair behind his ear, all made Castiel the happiest man. They never stop merging, and everything repeats, repeats and repeats itself without end.

"And do you know what's the best?"

Cas shook his head and looked at him questioningly, while Dean answered with a giggle.

"No stupid single bed in the hospital."

His pulse went faster, the fear crept up his throat, making Cas's heart ache.

Dean always knew it. He could always tell if his husband had too much in his head if he needed something to hold on to ground him down. It was a barely perceptible, desperate whimper, but the young policeman was immediately awake.

This has happened frequently lately. It was these nightmares that tormented his husband, the experience he had during this difficult time needed time to process. Again and again, he was overwhelmed by these emotions, which he could barely channel.

"I'm here," Dean whispered, putting his hand on Cas's cheek and pressing a kiss on his head.

Immediately, the firefighter cuddled even closer to the dark blond and sighed with closed eyes.

His lips found the other's neck, breathing on the soft skin and began to kiss, over and over again, until he could be sure that his husband had not fallen asleep again. Slowly he raised his head and waited patiently until the policeman opened his green, bright eyes again, accompanied by a smile.

"Do we want to stay in bed all day?"

With a promising wink, Cas nodded as his hand began to wander again. Up over the strong arms, down the spine, until it was finally back in his Dean's underpants and stroked the warm, firm skin and also slightly pinched.

"We should get up and get the tree," the policeman finally said, kissing his husband on the cheek and getting up without another word.

Cas pulled the blanket up to the tip of his nose and frowned as Dean squeezed himself into his pants, hopped a few times and waved his fingers.

As he made no move to get back to bed, Castiel finally stood up with a grunt and dressed.

"You owe me a favor," he muttered after half an hour, tucking his hands in his trouser pocket and ducking his head to protect himself from the cold wind. "Not even a dog would go outside in this weather!"

"Oh, come on," the dark blonde smirked. "It's Christmas."

Patiently, he waited until his husband was level, hooked himself in and took a deep breath.

Then it went back and forth for a while, what and how much the debt should contain.

"And I want a pizza," the black-haired grunted. "Homemade."

"How much do I owe you so that I can adjust to it?" Dean chuckled, but Cas took a step, smiled over his shoulder and winked at his husband.

"You will never be without debt."

The first Christmas together. Of course, there had to be a tree. Hand in hand, they strolled through the Christmas market, bought small Christmas tree balls here and candles there and finally stood in front of the few trees that were left. The selection was not big anymore, had not Cas been in the hospital so long; they would not be that late. But it was Dean's need to do it together.

"Much too big," the fireman muttered, shaking his head as Dean stood in front of a prime specimen.

"Hey, you two!"

Jerkily, Cas turned around as he felt a hand on his shoulder and recognized his maid of honor and Adam.

Eventually, they had decided on a nice, not too big tree, Kim urged another to a punch that had warmed the four and together they also managed to strap the stubborn thing on Cas's car.

Suddenly, the black-haired thought that he had no present for his husband at all. When should he have got it? After all, he had been too busy getting well.

"Honey !?" Dean murmured as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

Stammering, Cas explained that he had nothing for Dean and sadly lowered his eyes. With the thumb on the chin, Dean forced him to look up. He put all the love he had in his eyes and smiled at his contrite husband.

"The best gift for me is that you are healthy again and with me. That we can celebrate Christmas together and that you love me. You do not have to give me anything, Cas."

But he wanted that he promised him the same thing. Anyway, he could give his husband the romantic weekend at the spa for his birthday too, Dean thought with a wink and nodded.

While decorating the tree Christmas music sounded from the radio, and both threw themselves, again and again, furtive, love glances.

Humming to himself, Dean took a moment to think about the difficult time they both had and how grateful he was that everything had gone well. Castiel was also in thoughts. Happy that he had such a great, faithful, and loving man, he was only torn out by accidental or deliberate touches.

"The angel is still missinging," the young policeman said and crossed his hands, so that Cas could climb on it. With a giggle, he shook his head and kissed Dean instead.

Since, in the heat of the moment, both had forgotten to buy one, Cas unceremoniously picked up his engagement ring from the small box he had stashed in the bedside drawer and fumbled it through the topmost branch.

"Has not everyone," Dean laughed, hugged his husband from behind and both admired their result from two steps away.

Cas sat at the computer and checked his emails when he heard a clatter from the kitchen.

With crossed arms and a grin, he watched his man trying to make something with flour and water.

"You wanted pizza, so I'll do it now," he explained gravely. "Not the typical Christmas dinner, but I'm glad you did not want a duck or another animal."

With his fingers floury, he tried everything to prevent his sleeve from slipping down again and again.

"Come on, babe, let me help you," the fireman smiled.

The slender fingers he felt on his arm caused a pleasant shudder.

Almost tenderly, Cas rolled up his sleeve and placed three kisses on his arm, causing Dean to blush.

"Thank you, my prince."

After ten minutes, the pizza dough was rolled out, and Dean asked him for the sauce. With a frown, he asked what Cas was looking for when he opened all the drawers and boxes.

"What do you want on the pizza ?! You can forget. Pineapples are definitely not on it!"

After some back and forth, the young firefighter was beaten because such a thing was not in the house.

Had the timer not rattled, the two would have to eat black pizza, because once again they both lost at the moment — eyes burning with passion, lips barely able to separate.

They also did the dishes together. A moment of silence passed before Dean turned to the movie shelf.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

As Dean took off his shirt to make himself comfortable in bed, Castiel could not help but stare at the beautiful, smooth, toned body.

"Like what you see?" Dean asked wittily and he just silently nodded as he crawled to his husband under the covers.

With the remote control, the young policeman started the film and tried to concentrate on it. Not easy, with the handsome man beside him.

After half an hour Castiel fell asleep, and Dean watched him with a dreamy smile. He looked relaxed and satisfied. After turning off the TV, he quietly lay down and fell asleep a short time later.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean was the first to wake up, noting that both were in exactly the same position as they always were. Dean was the big and Cas the little spoon. Waking up like that was the best thing for Dean, and it made him smile. With a gentle movement, he pushed even closer to his husband. Cas's fingers lay loosely on Dean's arm, and only a soft, satisfied humming could be heard.

When he was sure that his husband was fast asleep, he deftly wriggled out of his embrace, stood up as quietly as possible so as not to wake him, and made coffee.

When he returned to the room with the two cups, he had to laugh when he witnessed the other man slowly wake up. The black hair stood in all directions, he yawned, and the blue eyes opened with a blink.

Dean put the cups on the bedside table, sat down in the bed and tried to smooth this stubborn hair with his fingers, but decided otherwise and ruffled through the thick, black hair.

"Dean!"

The culprit fell back on the bed and laughed. Lightning fast Cas jumped on him and pressed Dean's wrists onto the bed.

"Apologize!"

"Under no circumstance. Your hair looks so sexy," Dean teased, whereupon Cas escaped a barely perceptible smile.

He leaned closer and the blood shot into Dean's face.

"Say you're sorry!"

"I love you," the dark blond breathed and clasped her hands tighter, waiting eagerly for a kiss, but his husband forfeited him. Instead, he sat at the edge of the bed and sipped his coffee while ignoring Dean.

"Ready for the bustle?"

It was an icy but beautiful Christmas day, and both decided to walk.

Cas nodded, looking forward to it. The anticipation was probably a bit big because suddenly the young firefighter slipped on the ice. Immediately Dean wrapped his arm around his waist to keep him from falling.

Both blushed despite the cold as they realized how close their faces were.

"Th-thanks."

"No problem, honey," Dean grinned and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

A click made both turn around. Gabriela stood behind them with a mischievous smile and when she showed her cell phone, they looked at each other with something that could only be called 'hearty eyes'.

"You two are too cute," she smirked, coming in the middle and hooking up with the two men.

In a good mood, the two clasped their hands as they opened the large glass door to the fire station. A beautiful scent filled the room, as Cruz and Otis were already preparing the evening meal. That would be built later in the Molly's when all had end of work. After a warm welcome, Dean helped in the kitchen and Cas was put on the couch to 'rest'. The young firefighter acknowledged this with an eye-roll, but he did not stay seated for a long time.

"Go on, we have that under control," he smiled a few minutes later and took Otis the wooden spoon from his hand when, as it should be otherwise, the entire team had to move out a fire.

As at the wedding, everyone joined in, and in the afternoon there was rush hour at Molly's.

For almost a year now, Cas was in, currently retired, but he could not wait to get involved again. In a quiet minute, as the sensitive fireman briefly thought, he had tears of emotion in his eyes.

Dawson and Casey teased lovingly behind the bar, Severide tuned his guitar, Dean was with Otis at the Christmas tree to give it the finishing touch, the chaplain had as always for everyone a few nice words. Gradually, the colleagues of the police, as well as Will Halstead came to the happy round.

It was all ... it was an indescribable feeling flowing through his veins. It had been a long time since Cas was so happy at Christmas. In the midst of his big family.

"I'm just happy and grateful to be a part of it," he muttered a bit embarrassed as his chief asked if everything was alright.

Before everyone got over the rich buffet, Boden asked for a moment's rest so that everyone could say 'Our Father', followed by a few Christmas carols. The mood was exuberant but different. Peaceful, quieter.

Otis looked amused at Chief Boden, who enjoyed the food with a slight grin on his face.

"What are you thinking about, Chief?"

He looked a bit surprised even to be asked and cleared his throat briefly.

"I just remembered my first Christmas party at the police academy. I was responsible for the most important Christmas dinner of my entire career. All the important people were gathered. Of course, I was terribly excited, and then the turkey failed."

Everyone clung to his lips and followed this story partly with a giggle.

"One year later we all could laugh about it, but then ... What a disaster. I mean, what is Christmas without a turkey ?! All I could do was quickly cook something else. Roast beef, no poultry. Everyone had looked forward to the bird, of course. At the time, I felt like the biggest loser when I told them that.

And then suddenly everyone came to me and comforted me. That it had tasted to them that it did not matter, that it was not turkey and that they were looking forward to the next time, I would cook again."

With a happy smile, he told that after that he had felt really good again.

Everyone had come back the following year, and no one could imagine how happy they had made him with it.

"It was by far one of the best gifts."

Then suddenly it went in a row. Everyone talked about his most beautiful Christmas memory from his childhood.

In between, Gabriela, Kelly, and Cas used the time to clear the tables and bring cakes and coffee, mixed with wonderfully scented candles.

"The pumpkin pie is great, it reminds me of the one my mother always baked, assuming we had money," Herrmann sighed a little wistfully.

Then he said he was interested in boxing when he was thirteen.

But there was never any money, and so he always had to borrow gloves. And then there were these used boxing gloves in a shop window system. Always after school, he stopped and imagined what it would be like if he had had his own boxing gloves. But he never said anything because he knew it was impossible and his parents could not afford it.

"On Christmas morning, these gloves were suddenly under the Christmas tree. My dad had taken a side job so he could buy it for me. How he knew that I still do not know," he continued with a grin.

Meanwhile, the gloves were torn, and the hem was missing but never would he dispose of or give away.

Then it was Cas's turn.

"My parents ...", he started and cleared his throat, memories hurt.

When he felt Dean's thumb rub lightly on the back of his hand, he took a deep breath and smiled at him.

"My parents died when I was little, and I grew up with my aunt. My grandmother was blind for the last 20 years of her life. But as long as I knew her, she had lived alone and maintained her independence. I spent a lot of time with her. She was a great woman, impressive, taught me a lot."

Somewhat melancholy, he looked into the distance, before he continued. At the time, a friend had shown him how to use a Braille typewriter to write a letter to her. He almost gave up more than once, because he had always done something wrong.

"That might have been a challenge, but I did not give up," he laughed, and the others joined in to pick up the slightly depressed mood.

In the letter, Cas had told her everything he could not express in words. How much he admired her and how much he loved her. After that, she hugged him for a long time and said she had never had such a nice Christmas present before. The feeling that he had at that time was indescribable. Two nights later she died, with the letter in her hand.

Sergeant Platt talked about her childhood and various snowball fights. In the faces of the others, one could read the question, in which time this had happened because nobody could imagine Trudy as playful, as serious and sarcastic as she always was.

"What's your favorite Christmas memory, Dean?" Cruz asked, and everyone looked at him.

Dean thought for a moment before answering.

"Would you believe me when I say that this is my best Christmas? Friends who have grown more in my heart than I can express. A man who means everything to me and cakes and cookies until we fall over."

Everyone laughed and nodded, and the young policeman was a little embarrassed when Cas suddenly kissed him.

"Merry Christmas, friends." Sergeant Voigt raised the glass, and everyone followed.


	20. Chapter 20

"Maybe we got married too soon, or he wanted to go back to a woman ..." he sighed, wiping the tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt and taking a sip of coffee while Kim just looked at him and did not know what she should say. She could only be there for him.

Dean was her partner at work, and she liked him. But that ... That would have an aftermath. She had to try to clear the fronts and bring the two back together. Otherwise she would be the victim and stand in between. How nice it would have been if Sylvie had stood by her side.

Deep down, she had the fear that it would happen sooner or later.

"What exactly happened?"

So far, the policewoman had only learned on the phone that Dean had cheated on him.

"Yesterday, a woman was standing at our door, holding a cell phone and asking if a Dean would live here. He would have forgotten his cell phone with her. Apparently you two were not on guard right now, and Platt gave her our address, "the fireman sniffled and gratefully accepted the handkerchief Kim handed him.

"And what does Dean say about that?"

"That he was drinking with Severide and his battery was empty, so they went home with the two girls. He fell asleep on the couch while Severide was having a good time. Who knows what else he did in the two weeks ...?!"

Cas had lost confidence. He did not want to constantly wonder what his husband did when he was not there. He had gotten so lost in thought and ignored his heart that told him he exaggerated excessively, and that that was not possible.

A few blocks away, Dean held his phone in his hand and stared at the display. Should he try again? Angrily he threw it on the couch because Cas had already pushed him away four times. What happened suddenly? Did he really trust him so little?

The past weeks had shown that Castiel could rely on him. How should he get that back? Nothing happened. So drunk that he had a blackout, he was not. Again he put the bottle of whiskey to his mouth and took a generous sip.

The next day, Burgess received the message that Boden's son had been born, and during lunch, she and Dean set out to visit the two, armed with a teddy bear as a gift.

In the waiting room, Dean met not only the entire crew of the guard 51 but also his husband. First, he exchanged a look with Kelly, who looked at him blankly and then he sat next to his husband in the free chair because Herrmann had got up, knowing that the two had something to clarify because Cas had behaved so weird at the firehouse.

Only what ... no matter ...

"Listen," Dean said, sighing. "Nothing happened, you have to believe me."

"I know," the black-haired mumbled, adding. "I mean, I believe you."

The young policeman looked him straight in the eye and took the cold hands of his husband in his own.

"Cas, I would never cheat on you. I love you."

"Me too, I'm sorry I doubted that and ... this fight ..."

After thinking about it again, as he lay sleepless on the couch, he could have slapped himself for thinking something of Dean, and his husband probably thought now ... He did not want to imagine that. Not after all that the two had gone through.

Maybe it was the fact that he had not visited him at the rehab because he had been sick in between and he had not seen his sweetheart for so long. Maybe it was the fact that he had come home a day earlier, had not seen Dean yet and that woman had suddenly confronted him with accomplished facts ...

Short and painless as in a telenovela, the two had reconciled again.

"That went well again. I love you, idiots," Kim laughed, hugging them and kissing them on the cheek that was so loud that the entire crew burst into laughter.

"And you bring out the worst in him, so keep your fingers off my husband," the black-haired grinned at his colleague Kelly, who then held his hands against his chest with a grin.

Eye rolling, Cas threw a cushion as his husband looked at him with a dog's eye.

"It's all right. I overreacted. Okay?! Now eat your cold lasagna and then put your head right here," Cas said in the evening as he sat on the couch and patted his thighs.

With a grin, he got up and shoved the cold lasagna into the microwave before sitting down on the couch with his husband and resting after dinner.

"If you keep on stroking, I'll fall asleep," he muttered, his eyes closed as he felt soft fingers caressing his scalp. Smiling, Cas looked down, the remote in his other hand, with which he switched through the channels.

"Seriously?"

Shaking his head, the young policeman took turns looking at the screen and at his husband's face. Fascinated, he observed the acrobatics of the two men, who performed as aesthetically and smoothly as two cats.

"Maybe you should sit up for your brain to regroup in the middle," he replied cheekily.

It was just beautiful to watch and the theme music from the movie 'Pearl Harbor'. Muscle strength and body control. Cas was fascinated and never blinked once. In the arena it was quiet, and you could feel, how everyone held their breath.

He was so absorbed in the movements of these two that he did not mind the stupid sayings Dean made.

Although he smiled at what was going on in the screen, to be honest, it was admirable to do a handstand on the partner's head while the other one sat down and got up, or holding the weight of the other with one hand as if he weighed nothing. It all looked so easy and not at all exhausting, but that required skill and respect.

"Ok, it's your turn."

Dean picked up the remote and stopped at the movie 'Terminator'. Sighing, the young firefighter closed his eyes, based on the different film taste.

"We can go to bed and make our own movie," Dean grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh yes. Any idea?"

"You know me."

"That's the problem. I know you," Cas replied cheekily, taking a light swipe as he ran laughing into the bedroom.

"Honor Guard, Attention!"

It was a day like any other and yet it was not. Tears floated in the eyes of the young firefighter as countless colleagues in the cemetery saluted in front of the decorated coffin to pay tribute to his friend Cruz. It was a mission, like many before, and it took only a blink of an eye, to end his life.

Three days before ...

"Let's see if the fire rages among us," Casey said as he was the first to get off the aerial ladder to the roof. "Otis, hack a hole in the roof. Cas, open the skylight!"

With small steps, the four firefighters examined the stability of the roof.

"It's nonsense. Such an old shack; let's flare it off," Joe said annoyed, dropping his ax again and again on the roof. "The whole block is empty, everything here can burn away."

"Stop complaining!" Matt shouted.

"It's like this. They call us back here next week."

"Stop chatting and just do your wor ..."

At first, only a low squeaking sound was heard, followed by a noise that the men knew too well. As if rooted to the spot, Joe stopped and looked around for help as he felt the ground beneath his feet give way only slightly, then open and he plunged into the fiery hell.

"Cruz?!"

Everything happened within a blink of an eye. With difficulty, the two others could hold Otis back, who was screaming to help his friend. But there was nothing left except a hole, fire, and smoke. The bloodcurdling screams startled the rest of the crew on the ground.

"Firefighter crashed through the roof!"

The Chief personally forced open the door, but it was hopeless. The building was in full fire, and even though the firemen were soaking up everything to extinguish the blaze, the fire could not be brought under control. He had no choice but to get the remaining three firemen safely from the roof before it collapsed.

"Should not have happened."

Back at the firehouse, the men sat at the table, and Otis looked at Matt to ask him what he meant by that. He then said that Joe was careless. That was too much, and in no time Otis jumped up and could barely be stopped from beating up his lieutenant, who had just declared that his best friend was to blame.

"Hey. Damn it all, stop the nonsense!" Chief Boden screamed and knocked over a chair when he heard the screaming of his crew. "What the hell is going on here?!"

Everyone stopped dead in tracks, but no one said a word.

"I just had to explain to a mother that her son is dead and you behave like idiots.

On my guard! "He continued furiously and very loudly. "We hold together so we can handle that. We process that, and we learn from it. Then we get back on this goddam truck and keep going because that's how we honor Cruz. Is that clear?!"

"Yes, Chief," it came hesitantly, but unanimously by all.

"Has any of you fled half mast? Do it." With that, he turned to Severide and went back to his office.

For the fifth wedding anniversary, Dean had thought of something extraordinary. He had baked a cake for his husband.

"You had doubts?!" he asked in astonishment as Castiel carefully took a small bite into his mouth and then grimaced in a grin. Because that tasted excellent.

Shrugging, he grinned at him and screamed in surprise when Dean suddenly threw himself on him, and both went to the ground.

"Can we ... do we still make it to bed?"

A few minutes later, the young policeman breathlessly gasped as he felt demanding hands on his pants and lips that drove him out of his mind as his eyelids fluttered from open to closed. There was a mass of heat and pressure in his lower body that made him moan helplessly.

Cas smiled proudly. Within moments, he had turned his husband into a horny, moaning mess. To return to the question ... no. No, the two of them would not be able to make it to bed, because even his fire hose was so badly jammed that it was already painful.

A little carelessness and a few seconds later Cas found himself lying on his back.

Dean's mouth clung to his chest and licked a line in the middle before going over to his left nipple. He whirled his tongue around until the nipple hardened and tingled, down to the tips of his toes. With a gentle bite, he sucked hard and elicited a deep groan from the black-haired.

"Table," the younger man grunted and helped his spouse to his feet. "Turn around."

"What?" Cas asked perplexed.

"Damn, turn around now!" Dean growled, and with each passing second his eyes darkened with desire.


	21. Chapter 21

A few days later, all the firefighters of the guard 51 were in the lounge. While some watched TV or ate something, Cas played with Herrmann and Mouch Ludo.

When the emergency call came, and everyone rushed to the vehicles in no time, he still thought to himself that it had to be a large-scale operation, based on the many information that was given. And he was not mistaken, and the address seemed more than familiar to him. The site of the mission was the Chicago med. And even though everyone was talking at once, he had understood that it had been a terrorist attack.

It took less than ten minutes for the fire truck to stop and everyone got out.

Everyone just had to take a few moments for themselves, first to assess the situation and secondly to bring the raging heartbeat back under control as the chaos became apparent in front of their eyes: everywhere dust, screams, wounded people.

It quickly became clear that the emergency room had been the victim of a bomb attack and Cas's first concern was with his friend, Will Halstead.

With blue lights and sirens also came the other emergency vehicles of the surrounding fire departments and the police gradually.

Gradually it turned out that at that time the Russian ambassador was being treated in the hospital, and he was being attacked.

From top to bottom, the building was combed through; the uniforms worked hand in hand.

The bodyguards were quickly tracked down when they wanted to smuggle the ambassador out of the hospital, and Voight and his team disarmed them as the ceiling toppled over them.

Fortunately, it only hit the ambassador who was hospitalized for a kidney transplant. One could only determine his death, buried under the rubble.

While a thick cloud of dust had formed, Ruzek spotted the suspect.

"Stay here. It could be that everything collapses!" Voight shouted after him, but the young policeman did not even turn around.

When the two were on the third floor, or rather, what was left of it, because everywhere was fire, smoke, and debris, he saw no way to turn around and pursued his target with his pistol.

The dark-skinned man bravely climbed over the debris that lay in the way.

"Adam!" The policeman heard a voice, looked around but decided to pursue the suspect.

Cas saw that his friend was in danger and went after him.

"Damn Novak. Stay here!"

Casey shook his head. In the end, he was responsible for keeping his men together.

"Adam!" Cas called again, and finally, the policeman stopped and nodded as the fireman secured him with a rope. The terrorist was trapped and looking around like a frightened chicken.

"If he has a bomb too, that's it," Ruzek said, and Cas nodded.

But nothing happened. On the contrary, the dark-skinned man asked for help. All around the beams creaked, and the two knew that the ground on which they stood could not hold the weight for much longer. Over the radio, they heard one message after the other, and after some time it was clear that the entire building was evacuated.

"Novak, Ruzek, get in touch! See that you get your asses out of here, it all crashes!"

"We'll be right out, Chief. Everything's alright," the fireman passed over the radio.

But there's nothing in order. The reckless action meant that a hole had burned into his protective suit, that Adam got little air, and this other idiot in custody, but the three were trapped. And then happened what was predictable.

In front of the building, a huge crowd had formed. Will Halstead was unharmed and treated the numerous casualties that were scattered wildly.

Chief Boden was in despair because Herrmann had a serious leg injury, Dawson was buried under the rubble, but Casey and Severide had localized her and were about to pull her out, and Novak had resisted an order and was in mortal danger. Once again.

Hank Voigt kept trying to reach Adam, but the policeman's radio was broken, which neither of them knew.

"Chief!"

That blood curdling scream coming from Boden's radio made Dean wince, handing a water bottle to one of the injured, saying everything would be all right. In no time he rushed to the Chief and looked at him questioningly. When he told him that his husband and Ruzek were still in the building, Dean immediately wanted to join them.

"Winchester!"

Only with difficulty could Sergeant Voigt prevent him from running into the building.

"But Sarge ...!"

At that moment, a part of the hospital collapsed again, accompanied by a massive cloud of dust that formed around the crowd.

Dawson had been recovered uninjured, and Dean's desperate plea went down in the applause for the successful rescue.

This uncertainty was hard to bear for any of the crew, but least of all for Dean. Again and again, Chief Boden and Sergeant Voigt called their men, but apart from a quiet rustle, there was no sound.

Water dripped steadily on the young fireman's forehead until he opened his eyes. At first, it was only his eyes that explored the surroundings until he was reasonably sure that he was not seriously injured. His chest hurt, but that was not so bad. With a groan, he knelt down, and got an overview.

There was not much to see except rocks, three small fires and an incredible amount of dust and smoke. Coughing and panting, he stood up, which was not easy, so he decided to crawl on his knees. Again and again, he called for Adam.

"Here I am. Get the handcuffs and tie the bastard somewhere! "

Cas turned in the direction of the voice and angrily threw the broken flashlight away.

"What happened?" The dark-skinned man muttered, slowly coming to himself.

"We fell," Castiel replied, pointing upwards. Since he was too weak to flee anyway, the fireman decided to forego the handcuffs and crawled on to his friend. Adam's mouth was covered in blood, and he also coughed up blood. Cas did not have to be a physician to know that Adam had internal bleeding.

"Do not try to move."

In response, he got only a choppy laugh, because his leg was trapped and therefore he could not go away anyway. Also, he was bad, and his stomach felt as if his entire intestines were no longer where they belonged.

After ten minutes of fear and hope, Dean finally heard his husband's voice.

The building plan was already on the hood of Boden's car, and it was not long before they figured out where the three were, and after a few minutes, the plan was fixed. Casey, Severide, and Otis set off.

The road was arduous, and although Castiel reluctantly left Adam behind, he knew he needed to get the other man out of the way as his condition deteriorated rapidly. By joining forces, the three finally managed to get Adam's foot free again. That was a relief. With a nod, Cas pushed the radio into his hand.

"If you did not play for the pink team, I'd kiss you," he whispered, but the rest of the sentence went down in a cough.

"We will be back. Hold on. We'll get you out of here, I promise."

Outside, the handcuffs clicked immediately as Otis delivered the terrorist before he was taken to the hospital. Of course, he wanted to join the others again, but Chief Boden held him back.

"How's Cas?"

Desperately Dean pulled him with a jerk around his axis.

"He's tough. Do not worry," he replied with a pat on the back and went to the car to get some water.

"We have to be careful. Otherwise everything collapses," Severide said, and as soon as he had uttered the sentence, it happened.

"Dude, you know that. A baseball player is not told in the middle of the game that he plays great. Murphy's Law!" Matt shouted as everything collapsed before them.

"And now?" Cas asked and sank to his knees. Desperately, he tried to dig to reopen the access.

"Leave it!" Kelly shouted, pulling him away. "We have to get out of here and come up with something different."

"Oh god, never scare me like that again!" Dean whispered hugging his husband so hard he screamed.

"I think one or two ribs are broken," he groaned and kissed him briefly, but when Gabriela tried to take him to the hospital, he shook his head.

Under no circumstances did he want to leave here, but to experience Adam's rescue.

"Ruzek? Can you hear me?"

"Yes, Chief," the quiet response came a little slowed down.

He explained that the access was filled in, but there was a control room some feet away. If he could make it this far, the crew would start digging from the other side. Adam had no idea if he could do that, but he promised to give it a try.

Any sense of time seemed lost as he crawled his way through the rubble. With his bare hands and last strength, he paddled one hole after another.

"I can not anymore ..."

The strong pains robbed him of the air to breathe, which was very barely anyway and lying on his back, he closed his eyes.

"Ruzek!"

"Just a few minutes, Sarge ..."

"Ruzek, you will not fall asleep now. The men are on their way. Get your ass in the control room!"

Sergeant Voigt tried with all his might to keep his young policeman awake and had to control himself, not to panic.

It would have been easy to give up. But Adam was a fighter, and all of his colleagues outside stood around the radio and helped keep him awake.

At some point, it seemed like hours, he had passed the passage and straightened up with his last strength. What he saw then was disturbing. Everything was burning. It was hopeless.

Sighing, he sank to the ground and took the radio with shaky hands.

"It's too late," he whispered, trying to swallow the rising tears.

At the same time, Matt, Kelly, and Cas reached the big sliding door. With great effort, they finally managed to open it. In no time the flames hit them.

There was no way to get into the room.

"Close!"

"No!" Castiel screamed though he himself saw that it made no sense, but he had promised him.

Adam heard the men, only a few steps away, but helpless to do something.

"Sarge ..."

"We're with you Ruzek," said Voight in a composed voice that was more played than real.

"Is Burgess there?"

"Adam," the policewoman sobbed, shaking her head in tears as he tried to calm her down.

"Kim, baby. I love you, I always have and always will. I'm sorry it has to end like this. "

Another fit of coughing shook him, and he wished to suffocate at that moment before the flames would reach him.

The next problem was that the battery of the radio was slowly failing.

"Adam," Voight said, taking a deep breath. Kim collapsed into Sergeant Platt's arms and was shaken by a crying fit. The rest of the crew were united to the radio, but nobody had the right words in this situation.

"Adam," Voight repeated. "Kid, it was an honor. They were one of the best. "

The policeman had heard the last words before closing his eyes with a smile. Only the crackling of the fire could be heard.

Dean and Cas were with Kim to help her during this difficult time. She was standing in the kitchen and had calmed down a bit when she saw Sergeant Voigt's car drive up and he got out with chaplain Orlovsky.

The young firefighter opened the door for the men, and Dean could barely catch his partner as she sank to the floor, crying.

That life was not fair, Cas knew that. And he also knew that his job was to save lives.

But that ... How many times had he wished in the past few hours that this damned terrorist had died instead of Adam? How many times had he wondered if it had not been the wrong decision and what would have happened if everyone had had more time.

"It's a hard task to say goodbye to a policeman. And this time, I find it particularly hard, as I witnessed how Adam has developed into a great cop and member of the intelligence unit. He took on this task because he wanted to help people. He gave his life for our fight. We will never forget you, Adam. Your role model has made us better people."

The moving speech of Sergeant Voight in the full church moved even the people in the back row, and it was a renewed goosebump moment when he urged everyone not to mourn death but to celebrate life and stand up in remembrance of Adam Ruzek.

The applause was long, and the ceremony was beautiful.

Then the coffin, adorned with countless flowers, was carried out by his colleagues and lifted onto the police truck. Numerous units of the police, as well as the entire crew of the police house 21, the fire house 51 and some employees of the Chicago med. proved him the last honor. For him, the siren sounded the last time.


End file.
